Divorce or a Happy Marriage

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Divorce or a Happy Marriage

Postby Edwin » Tue Nov 20, 2012 11:46 pm

Psalm 139:13; "For thou hast possessed my reigns: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. 14; I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."

Even as we are an unborn child in our mother's womb, God is looking after us! What does this say about abortion? God is not pleased with abortion. It truely is taking a life, and God only has the right to take a life. God is watching over that little child, and those who kill it are the same as those who murder their wife, their children, or even a neighbor or the stranger to get his/her car or a little bit of money. "Thou shalt not kill."

I found this scripture on a facebook page, and I found another story that should touch your heart on facebook. Whether it is made up or true, it certainly could be true, and the story will make you view marriage, divorce, and your marriage partner differently. Here is the story:

MARRIED OR NOT, YOU SHOULD READ THIS ...


“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She s...at down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! :D :D
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Re: Divorce or a Happy Marriage

Postby crisipicada » Mon Nov 26, 2012 3:59 am

I am so touch by the story, this could be real to other marriage life. This also what happened to my parents. They are too busy about work and neglect the love for each other. Your life is your time. Your time extending to your husband or wife is the love that you give. It is not the material things. Yes, someone desire to someone they love, providing all they needs, but in reality, time is the most important that you can give. Just to listen to someone's heart desires and pains and trials, ideas and struggle is what someone needs more. I heard someone says to his wife, "I provide all your need, your wants, what else do you want?" But he never realized that what his wife is asking is TIME because TIME is spelled out L-O-V-E.
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Re: Divorce or a Happy Marriage

Postby Edwin » Mon Nov 26, 2012 5:21 am

Crisi, when I saw this story on Facebook it touched me as well. We often forget the important things in life, and we devalue our own lives and we devalue the lives of others as well because we might be like this couple in the story. What you said Crisi, often is true with parents and children as well. Parents sometimes think if they shower the kids with thing they have done their duty and the kids should be happy. But from one mate to another, time and attention to little things is important, and yes time is spelled out L O V E! So, to one and all, give what is required, give what you should give, and then have no regrets. Life is short, and we need to live as God wants us to live, to love as God wants us to love, and give attention to the little things! :D :D
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Re: Divorce or a Happy Marriage

Postby mystic » Mon Nov 26, 2012 5:24 am

crisipicada wrote:TIME is spelled out L-O-V-E.


I thought that ETERNITY spells out L-O-V-E :D :D :D

It's true, life is very demanding and brings you many tasks to do, duties, responsibilities, tiredness, stress. That often comes to the detriment of the person near us who loves us. This is more true in Western countries, where the rythm of life is very very frenetic. However, if it is a true eternal love, one should look inside, not outside. Time is just an outer aspect of reality. But does it really exist? Isn't commitment and one's true feelings inside more important?

If one is truly committed, he/she won't become distracted by other events, won't betray, won't lie, despite every difficulty or lack of time.
"The real opposite of love is not hate, but indifference" (Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz)
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Re: Divorce or a Happy Marriage

Postby Edwin » Mon Nov 26, 2012 10:26 pm

Time is a very interesting phenominum! It accounts for the various time zones. The way the Philippine Islands lay, I think they are all in one time zone. Someone correct me if I am wrong. But in the USA we are spread out over I think at least 4 time zones, so if I call a business establishment on the East Coast I better do it early, because just past the middle of the day for us is many times already after hours for East Coast people. Most of us have to deal with daylight savings time, which complicates things further. The Philippines is 15 hours ahead of our time zone in Washington State in the summer, but it is 16 hours ahead in the winter. Some people can't be on time, because they have a poor grasp on the time element. God has given us time, and He has given us time to repent. Now is the accepted time. We operate within time's framework, but there will come a time, when God will have the Angel declare, "Time shall be no more, and then eternity will begin." What we have not done with our time allotted to us will be too late, another term of time. Procrastination involves time. There is a time to be born, a time to die, and a time for most everything under the sun. For now I think the rotation of the earth defines time. We know it as the sun coming up and going down. But, one day that will change, and God will make a new heaven and a new earth wherein dwells righteousness! :D :D
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Re: Divorce or a Happy Marriage

Postby crisipicada » Tue Nov 27, 2012 7:23 pm

It is my desire not to be into divorce just in case I will get married. I do not like to be into emotional heartache and troubles again and again. It is not wise decision to be into it. And also it is not the plan of the Almighty to get divorce so it is also my desire to be faithful and loyal to my husband in the soonest possible time.
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Re: Divorce or a Happy Marriage

Postby Edwin » Tue Nov 27, 2012 11:02 pm

That is a wonderful attitude that you have, Crisi, towards marriage. Yes, I think divorce in many ways is worse than death. I have thought many times about all the effects of divorce, and they are many. There are times that one person does not have control over whether there is a divorce or not, and that is sad. God's plan is for a young couple to be together forever. God wants faithfulness and loyalty from us, and He wants us to be that way with each other as well. :D :D
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Re: Divorce or a Happy Marriage

Postby mystic » Wed Nov 28, 2012 3:09 am

Ohhhh..... I think I died twice. Not sure how many lives I have :lol:

Maybe I am only thinking that I am still alive, but indeed I am dead. So, better I use my little time in the proper way for serving the Lord :)

Ed, please correct this sentence:

Edwin wrote:God's plan is for a young couple to be together forever.


Take away the "young", or I will feel more sad :lol:
"The real opposite of love is not hate, but indifference" (Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz)
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Re: Divorce or a Happy Marriage

Postby Edwin » Wed Nov 28, 2012 10:03 pm

Well, we are all young until we die, are we not? I have some friends whose last name is Young. They will truely be young forever! Okay, God's plan is for a couple to be together forever. They say cats have nine lives. When a cat runs out in front of a car and doesn't get hit, that cat has used one of his/her lives! We all need to "use our time in the proper way for serving the Lord." :D :D
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