Giving up or It is enough?

[crisipicada]

A lot of people today says, I am giving up because it wont work? Or they are not just really wanted to fight their love for someone?

Or somebody says, it is enough, I can't hold it enough because how much I tried but just really so hard?

How about you? Are you giving up or is it enough?

[Edwin]

Crisi, this is an individual decision when to continue, and when to give up. I can give our youngest daughter's experiences as an example. Her first husband was mean to her, even on their honeymoon. Things got so bad that she kicked him out. Then they patched things up, got back together, had another child together, their second and only two in their family. Then he started leaving her. We found out later that he was unfaithful to her. So after leaving a number times, she would not allow him to come back. Then she married another guy who was also abuse and mean to her kids. Then she married a third guy, and it would require 100 pages tell all, but basically he would beat her senseless, and she would run for her life from him. She was a baby nurse in the hospital, R.N., and she would miss work when her face was beaten so badly. She lost her job because of missing work. He didn't want other people to see what he was doing to her, so he tried to keep her from going anywhere. Once he badly broke her shoulder/clavical bone, to the point they were afraid they might have to do surgery. She was lying about what he was doing to her, saying she got bucked off a horse, for the horse through her against the coral fence, she worked with horses, or the horse kicked her. The last beating her husband was kicking her with his logging boots, beating her with the butt of his hunting rifle, and he tried to shoot her, but she had the presence of mind to remove the bullets before he got the gun, which made him angry. He was telling her that he was going to kill her, and he almost did. She grabbed the phone, pushed redial which is all the time she had. The last call that was made was to us, and so the phone called us. Carol called back because we had that number on our phone from her pushing redial. When Carol called back, her husband said things that didn't make sense, but it scared him, so he ran to take a shower, and while he was in the shower she ran from him. She will hurt the rest of her life from what he did to her. He is in federal prison because of what he did for 9 years, which is nothing in comparison to what he did to her. Each time he beat her, she stayed with him, and she should have left him the first time he beat her badly. She endured these beating for 2 years. I would say that she didn't give up, but she had, had enough.

If anyone is abusing you, mistreating you, lying to you, not keeping his/her word to you, not giving you good reason to trust and stay with, then you need to leave, and when you do leave you have not given up, but you have had enough!

[Smiley]

I am not a person who gives up easily.Anything worth doing or having is worth a true effort.It is not realistic to expect everything to go exactly as you want,there should always be a little room for compromise and enough flexibility to enable changing situations to be dealt with on an ongoing basis.
Now,having said that,there comes a time where all the effort in the word will not make a bad situation better.It becomes like whipping a dead horse.Once I determine that it is time to move on and that there is no acceptable alternative that is what I do.You cannot grasp the future until you let go of the past.

[red]

To say those words can be easy for me but by actions no. I won't give up as long as I know the other person loves me and I love him but if he doesnt love me anymore then it is enough to give up and move on.

[red]

Love matters most even sometimes the one you love and you are dealing with can be a pain in the butt sometimes. Love covers everything.

[Edwin]

Yes, Red, the Bible says, "Love covers a multitude of sins," and I believe that. Things are not perfect, and we wish the other person would do more for us, or be more for us. We see them sometimes not trying and not caring, and it makes us want to leave! But often what is the benefit of leaving. Many times it brings more trouble than staying. I think what people have to do is seek God, and determine if He wants us to stay. For Carol and I, let me say everything is not perfect, and I don't think I should say everything that is in my mind, which I am bad to do sometimes! But, Carol and I love each other. I wish that she would do more of what she could do for me, but I am praying about that, asking God to help me with what she does not do for me, and it is between her and God. She gives me emotional/moral support! She takes care of my clothes! She prepares our meals, and you can guess what I would like to have more of, but the Lord knows. I think her diabetes and all the medications that she takes affects her feelings, desires, and sensations, and I feel sorry for her, because many times she doesn't feel well, and she is depressed, which is very hard for me to understand, but it is real for her. So I just hope and pray that the Lord will help her to feel better and enjoy life, which I think she does part of the time and in some ways. I am definately missing her, as she is gone to drive our granddaughter to her college classes for a couple of weeks! I may die of starvation before she gets back! No I probably won't!

[crisipicada]

To say those words can be easy for me but by actions no. I won't give up as long as I know the other person loves me and I love him but if he doesnt love me anymore then it is enough to give up and move on.

I learn not to give up but sometimes it is so tiring. But when I said I have commitment, then I try to fight for it even if it hurts and bad moments come.

[Edwin]

"I learn not to give up but sometimes it is so tiring. But when I said I have commitment, then I try to fight for it even if it hurts and bad moments come." Quote by Crisi

It is very hard not to give up when things are tough! If you feel right about hanging on, then it is important to hang on no matter what. There have been times in my life when I have given up, and then there have been times when I have hung on. I think there is a time to hang on, and a time when it makes sense to let go, and only the individual with God's help knows the difference. It is not good to be a quitter, and it is important to seek God's guidance!

[wantingmore]

I understand how you feel, Crisi. There are people who are just so martyr to stay in a relationship because they love the person. It is the person's character to stay forever but not apply to all. There are some who wont fight for love.

When you find someone who will stick with you in bad times and in good times he is the one for you. But if time comes that the other is not cooperate then, it is better to let go. Sometimes the problem is the long distance relationship. I agree that both couple must stay together. But in case they will be far from each other, and their love and commitment is strong enough, true is being tested and proven how they love each other so much. Hope you find your true love.

[Edwin]

You are right, wantingmore, there are some people who stay too long. Our daughter who was getting the daylights beat out of her on a regular basis stayed to long. She stayed after getting repeatedly beaten, and I don't think she should have taken as much as she did. They say love is blind, and that causes some to stay. Blind before marriage, and eyes wide open after marriage! We do need to take our vows very seriously, as it is better not to vow than to vow and break our vow!