being_meh wrote:i went out last night with my friend. we talked about life and he surprised me because he told me that he don't really love his wife at first.. i told him why does he marry the girl if he is not sure about his love to her. he told me the girl is already pregnant and its the right thing to do.... and i asked him if he believes on saying that if you found the right one u will know..is it true? and he said yes. he actually found the one before he marries his wife but he let that girl go because he is going to be a father ... and i asked him how is he feeling now? and he said ,he still can't forget the one he truly love but he is trying his best to be true and loyal to his wife now. i said uve been together for 7 years yet u still don't love your wife. he said i do love my wife now but he still choose the one... he said he is happy but it might be better if he choose the other one..i was silent ,co'z i don't know how to react with that... well that gives me a thought if there is really the so called "the one" but it seems that not all ends with an happy ending like what happened to my friend now.. too sad to know that...
There are so many stories about women got pregnant, women blackmail the guy, and so on the so fort just to marry the woman. There are really regret if you make your own way of finding the one. Sometimes, we thought, needs to living in first to know each other, or maybe just try if the woman got pregnant and so if not then do not marry. So many stories about it, and these, I believe is not right. So many regrets along the way. If you try to have married or relationship counseling, it will really help a lot what your motive or your situation or the reason of getting married.
So hard to find the one, when you are not sensitive to it. Many things have to considered. I was once told, "If you love each other, then you got married". This, I believe is a poor advise. This is not the reason for just getting married. There are things to consider. Use mind before getting married. As to the saying goes, "love fades when stomach is empty". And this is true. Look around, how many married couple got separated due to unable to support the family. It happens to my family, too. Once, my mother has been into 3 government agency, and then later on, my father try to let her resign from her work, eventually, my father's income was not enough. In the end my mother went to her place in Iloilo to find a job, however it was too late. So hard to find a job when there is age limit.
Why settle if you are not ready? Also, many issues in life makes relationship separate. I try to be happy, and when problems comes, like family problem and issues, it affects me a lot. I wanted to get out of my family because I am tired and sick of many issues which I did not create. So, when I try to find someone whom I can count on and someone can feel the emptiness in my heart, that makes me feel better. My father was responsible father, I believe however he was so strict and wanted us to be responsible in our own. So hopefully, considering relationship counseling and praying and searching the Scripture are so important. You will know when you are peaceful and does not struggle at all. Just be patient, the right time will come.