Being subservient to my parents, I am prepared and obey unquestioningly their order. I don't want them to get hurt or disappointed and do as much as I can to please them. There are times that our parents provoke us. There are times that they want us to do what seem to be good for us based on their perspective and later on the children suffers. As the children grow up, parents still treated children as what they have used to. Yelling, shouting and sometimes degrading and domineering words that stuck in my heart that burdens me especially with friends around me. For a long time, it has been my hearts desire to please them, to honor them and to respect them. And even to the point to react against them, keeping to myself is more important than hurting them or disrespect them.
Growing up with dysfunction family, it was really difficult to be sociable because I feel that I will be hurt and it is better to be alone and stay wherever I will be more productive. Because of this, my life is so simple, I become non-sociable, I tend to do things alone like reading, browsing the internet, play musical instruments and many more.
When I see people who are happy because their parents are so supported, willing to talk to when you have concerns, and not yelling or make you feel low because of what you have done that was wrong or it was not enough of their expectations, I desire to have such parents like that. Also, when you have nothing to contribute to your parents or fail them, instead of lifting you up, they make you feel down to the point that they will blame you because of what I did or did not live a life of their expectation.
I am just sharing this because, this is not really healthy for a family. Parents needs to be loving, be a good listener, good encourage parents, and most of all, see the good in the bad instead of putting down.
It is totally not bad be subservient to parents however parents needs to see what their children good at, what they want, and encourage them to be a better person in character and have integrity.
