Victim

[Shakey]

It's a sad thing what he did to you. In my eyes he is not a man at all. Just a boy playing games. I hope you believe in Karma. What goes around, comes around. How is your family taking this? Please PM me.

[Edwin]

It is not hard to become a victim. Sometimes people become victimized very easily. People, including me, can't be too careful to protect themselves against others who would take unfair advantage of them. Often times people don't honor their words with their actions. A promise of helping the family and the promise of marriage prompted Susan to give in to his wishes thinking that he was going to make good on his promises. That is so sad. Even waiting until marriage a person can get scammed by an unscrupulous person. All of you know how this is done, and it is so devastating. For anyone looking for love and marriage it is a danger. Looking to the Lord for guidance and looking for someone who is a committed Christian should give some assurance that the person will treat others right, and will not hurt another person.

I had a sad thing happen to me years ago while I was teaching at an Indian School that was operated by the Indian Agency. I was a long term substitute teacher taking the place of the regular 8th grade teacher who was dying of cancer, and she did die eventually, and I knew her well. It was a good job, and I was being paid well. One day the school had me take a group of kids on a short walking field trip down to Omak Lake which is near the school. I went with the kids part way, and let them continue on down to the Lake by themselves while I looked in this deserted dairly barn just for the fun of it. I knew the owner of the place well also, and he was in my wife's high school graduating class.

On the return after the kids came back to where I was I went with them again back to the school. As I went I played with the kids, being a big kid myself. This one 8th grade girl went home and told her folks I was coming on to her. Nothing was further from the truth. The school superintendent talked with me, telling me that she knew I was doing nothing wrong, but she was replacing me so that I would not get into trouble, as trouble was already brewing. One of the other teachers told me that he got into trouble over a situation where he needed to control a child's behavior. He told me that there is (blank) out there, I'm not going to write the word, and I stepped in it. Maybe that would not have happened had I distanced myself a little further from the kids; who knows? Years later I taught in a high school alternative class, and this same girl was in my class. She had a little girl without being married by this time.

[crisipicada]

I am new to this site. First and foremost i just want to introduce myself. I am from Philippines, of legal age. Just call me susan. I am a victim of a foreign guy. we have a nice contact in yahoo messenger, we talk online and we plan to have future together. It lasted for one year that we have communication. He is my dream guy and he is the one i am going to married. We plan to stay in my country and have kids. I belong to a very poor family living. Despite of being poor but i have my integrity and dignity. Now, my penpal visited me and we have wonderful stay together. I give myself to him and lost myself and everything. I am a victim of love. we have intimate moments and he promise me to love me and help my family. Now, i am emotionally and mentally disturb because my penpal tell me that he don't love me anymore. I love him and give him myself.

I know ladies are victim also of foreign guy. Foreign guy take advantage of poor filipina. How can you change this feedback that i have for foreign guy? He leaves me pregnant and because i am disturb both mentally and emotionally, the baby is lost in my tummy. Please advise me what to do. I feel down at the moment of time everything flashbacks on my mind.

God allow things to happen for a reason of many reasons even we don't realize that it is good for us. For your case it is a tough thing that happens to you. Remember that life is just a steward for us by God. So we must take care of it. Life is just given by God for the reason to give glory. True freedom can only be received in GOd's hand. Give your all to Him now.

Sometimes we are driven by anger or resentment. We hold on to hurts and never get over the past. We must release the pain through forgiveness as we are forgiven by God too. Sometimes we explode our anger to others and it is not healthy or not helpful. Listen that the person who hurt you in the past cannot continue to hurt you now unless you hold on to the pain through resentment. Maybe he has forgotten the hurt he inflicted you

[purex]

Are you feeling angry and mad at someone because of what he or she has done to you? Are you keeping on remembering those things that regrets you why it did happen? Are you feeling frustrations because of what you do expect as what others have said and failed you? Is there burden in your heart that sometimes you wanted to end your life? Is there someone you hate a lot because he or she tries to manipulate and make your discouraged and it is a lot of annoying? Life is always lots of different emotions as we go through existence on this earth. I have experienced this and somehow in the long run I learn to commit my life to God and give all the trust and confidence in everything all I do.

If you are manipulated by memories, your life is driven by guilt. Feeling regrets in the past and letting people ruin your life through keeping on remembering those experiences will hinder your potentials of what would you be. Don’t let your future be controlled by your negative experiences (Easy to say than done). Feeling hopeless? Hold on! As you begin your life with reason or purpose, wonderful changes are going to happen. Think about the state of your life today! Do you like the way it is? Or do you desire to make it better? Is there someone who is looking at you and be accountable of? Do you want to be of a blessing to someone you love? Is there someone you want life changed and be of good cheer? Think about good things you want to be! God says, “I know what I am planning for you… I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future.” Often time we think life is hopeless, right? And we always facing impossible situation, but the Bible says, “God … is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of – infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thought and hopes.

As the Bible says, There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that we may be able to bear it (I Corinthians 10:13). Stay positive!

[susan]

Thank you, Purex. I am discourage about my life because of what happen to me. Foreigner wants sex when they come and see their girls. It is a bad character to note about foreigners. It really hurts and i cant survive this if my family is not with me. It is a shame on my part to have sex with a foreigner.

[Edwin]

Susan, I've said this before, and I will say it again, I am really sorry this happened to you!

I am not going to comdemn you for your opinion of foreigners. Some are like you described, and some are not. If I were single, but I am married, my faith in God and my convictions I do not believe would allow me to do what others have done. I can't speak for others. My convictions say it is wrong and those who violate their convictions will have to answer to God.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You are human, and you gave in when you shouldn't have, but God knows all about that, and He is loving and forgiving and kind.

I hope and pray that your family with stand with you and support you. They need to as well as being forgiving, supportive, and accepting of you. Even though this should not have happened, God is able and willing to take this and turn it around for you. I pray God will help you with this and bless you inspite of all this.

Take courage and let God help you. He will. You will get past this and the sun will shine for you again.

[purex]

Thank you, Purex. I am discourage about my life because of what happen to me. Foreigner wants sex when they come and see their girls. It is a bad character to note about foreigners. It really hurts and i cant survive this if my family is not with me. It is a shame on my part to have sex with a foreigner.

I believe not all guys are bad. They also take precautions about their woman communicating. They also make sure that the woman is not a scammer. So, please don't judge because i am quite affected also and afraid that all guys are bad

[Edwin]

Susan im real sorry about what happened to you.But I have one question.Where his pic,his name,address,phone number.Why you not post it on here,craigs list,fhilapeno eyes all date sights and warn others what he is.
Dont give up tho keep looking for he is out there and you will find each other

I am wondering what is happening with Susan by now. Susan would you let us know how you are doing? Thanks!