Marriage: Destiny or Chance?

[m&m]

We cannot deny the fact that many countries in the world consider divorce. One of their reasons were, for instance, because of wrong marriage, because their relationship did not work anymore or maybe the other one is not able to do his or her responsibility as husband or wife.

Some would believe that their first marriage is not the true marriage, or maybe, the 2nd or 3rd and so on, is not the right one. And maybe, later on they will find "the one".

So, is there such a "wrong marriage"?

For Christian, as I am Christian, I do believe that Marriage is for a life time. That mean, if I will get married in the future by His will. For the Christian yes, two basics principles first a Christian must always marry another believer. we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers and then we should marry the mate that God wants us to marry and not our own choice.

At the creation account in the Bible, first adam was made from the dust of the ground and then God took a rib from Adam to make Eve. Any beleifs out of the Scripture and fables anything ywe read from that book must be discarded. Our soul authority for our faith and beliefs is the word of God the Bible. God's word, the Bible, is forever settled in heaven, we are not add to it or take away from it. Is marriage predestined or dependent upon us I believe for the Christian the answer is yes to both

[mystic]

Destiny is a synonym of chance, or casualty, or fate. The simpleton is governed by destiny, i.e. the casual position of planets and stars. The religious person should not be subject to fate. Reborn man has control over the stars.

However, this is a difficult topic. Self improvement and spirituality does not necessarily mean you can avoid your tests. We live in an environment that is inherently evil and this can influence or entrap us, whatever our efforts to keep a holy life can be.

The Bible allows divorce. An unhappy married person can give the other the "document of divorce", for whatever important reason. This does not mean I vouch for it.

It would be really nice that divorce did not exist. I told myself all life that it is not an option for me. And then, I found myself married and divorced. Unless one goes through it, it is really impossible to judge or understand.

It's an unfortunate comparison, but I will make an example: If one finds out that he has a tumor and has 6 months of life... what will he do? Will he undergo surgical operation to extirpate the tumor and live all his days, or will he keep it and die quickly? Unfortunately, marriage is no exception.

What I can tell from my experience is that there must be the commitment of both persons, and both must value marriage and its holiness the same way. I read often in the forum that both need to share the same yoke. If it is not so... chances are high that things will not work out.

The finest food left open in the air will become a moldy poison. It's not useful to say that we will eat the food whatever it will be: a good food or a poison. But it is useful to keep the commitment to do everything to preserve that food the proper way. If things are kept holy, always... that's the key to success. Marriage should not start from a piece of paper, but from the innermost commitment.

[red]

This is a very sensitive topic. Marriage is a commitment and it is a choice. Speaking of divorce it is a very delicate topic. My husband did undergo divorce twice. I can't really speak of it because I didn't experience it but as I heard people who had it, it is painful and various reasons all kinds of reasons..some stupidity and some very serious. One co-worker before told me she traded her husband for a dishwasher. I reacted like.. what? I thought she was being hilarious but hey husband is not a material.
My husband's oldest daughter of first marriage already had two divorces. It may be hard to understand them when they talked about it because I didn't feel same they had and never experience it. All i can do like to my husband is just listen. Some said they already let go of it but it is hard to forget it. ( But my husband proved it wrong. There is actually a way of forgetting it and it is focusing on Christ...(Holy)Spiritual intervention made him changed alot no more feeling grudges of bad past, regrets. )

[Edwin]

I am happy that your husband, Red, has dealt with his troubled feelings by focusing on Christ. Jesus does forgive, and He does heal, and even to the sinners He says, "Go and sin no more." Marriage is a choice. We choose rightly and we are rewarded for it, or we choose wrongly, and we suffer for it. Some I think have pretty good reasons for divorce, like with excessively abuse behavior, when the offending party will not change. Also sometimes you become a victim, when your partner demands a divorce, and you don't have a choice in that. Some do not have reasons for divorce but excuses. God knows all about it. Divorce is harsh, and many people suffer because of it. I just recently heard someone say that they wanted a divorce, but because of the negative reprocussions, they are deciding against it, but they are unhappy, so what is the answer? When is enough enough, and when has it been too much? Everyone has to seek God and His will on this matter, and not be beaten down because of something that has happened in the past!

[red]

(I don't really know where to paste this story that i read today from my friends facebook. I choose it here anyway. )

WHETHER MARRIED OR NOT MARRIED U MUST READ THIS STORY

There was a man who loved his wife very much.
He could give her everything he could but the woman never appreciated.
Though the man was not rich, but he could share all he had with her.

He could buy for her clothes and the only thing his wife could say was that the husband was fulfilling his duty as a Man.

The man would buy a dress but in reply, the woman would mock at him, because the dress was of low quality.
The man could smile at her wife and tell her
"one day, I will become rich and I will buy for you all the expensive things you need"

The woman could never make any phone call unless she was requesting anything from her husband and once her request was not granted, all she could do was to quarrel for days, sometimes fight.

One evening, the man was coming from work, he bought a Kilogram of meat, happily the poor man expecting to suprise his wife, he reached home found the wife and showed her the package,
Then she shouted: "eh! And you call urself a man? Which husband, apart from you, do you think comes home with just one kilograme, no cooking oil, no other ingredients? You better leave it, ur a good-for-nothing husband."
then she threw the meat to the bush and went back home.
The Husband felt low but he never let down his love for her.

One day, the husband felt pain in his left foot, then a Tumour appeared on the foot, it then emerged growing big and more painful.

He went to the hospital and was found with cancer, he was poor to have a better medical care. Though he was sick he tried much as he could to provide for his family.

Two years later the condition worsened and he was put in the special care unit, he was operated and the foot was removed,
but unfortunately it was too late, the disease had affected more parts of the body and at last he called his wife and told him,
"LOOK AFTER MY CHILDREN, i feel i can't live any longer though i'll always be with u in spirit, may God be with you"

He then breathed his last and died.
The woman, and three children cried, for days, they buried him.

Two months later, the wife was bowing down on her husbands grave as she said these words:

My love,
you did all the best to me,
you treated me well and gave me all you could,
but all i could pay you, was endless quarrels and fights.
I never realized your importance until when ur gone,
when am the one to provide food, clothing, education and many others.
I remember when i threw ur one Kilogram of meat into the bush, but now i have no where to get it.
'THE GOOD DIE YOUNG' thats why u died when u were still young.
A husband whom i could mock at but you only smiled at me.
I know ur listening to me and i ask you to forgive me.
We are all missing ur presence as ur youngest daughter Diana is always crying asking when u'll be back.
But you will never leave our hearts
untill we Join u.
May you Rest in Eternal Peace.

[Edwin]

Red, this is a moving story. There are a few things we can learn from a story like this. One thing we can get out of it, is that life is short and unpredicable at best. Not one of us knows our appointed time when we will exit from this earth, so we need to live with that in mind; how should I live if this would be my last day to live. Also, give the flowers while people are alive instead of placing them on the casket. Do nice things and show respect while the people are living because once they are dead it is too late, then all we can do is ask God to forgive us. Appreciate people for their efforts to do good while they are alive. Also poor people can be givers and contributors, and this is like the widow that Jesus was telling about who gave her mite; she gave more than should could afford to give. So we should appreciate the smalls things that are done for us, and not despise them because they seem insignificant. Be kind and show appreciation while people are alive.

[red]

Yes it is moving story. This story can at least enlighten those wives who don't always appreciate their men, who work so hard to provide for the family and fulfill the wants and desire of a wife. Both spouses should appreciate each other in everyday life. Not to forget say i love you and thank you, life is so short we never know the day you will stop talking each other.

[Edwin]

That is true, Red, life is short and unpredictable. We do not know if we will be here tomorrow, and showing appreciation is important, rather than taking for grant it, the kind things, and the hard efforts made to help out. Even worse than not showing appreciation is when there is a total disregard and even disrespect for the person putting forth the hard efforts. Saying please, thankyou, and I love you are important. Caring what happens to the other person is important. Red, you said something important, when you said, "Everyday life." It is truly the little things that count, and how we live our lives day by day.

Chance or destiny are interesting concepts. Are we destined or is it chance? I think the Bible brings out both concepts. I think it is in Proverbs that we are told that chance happens to every man or woman. Don't miss your chance or your opportunty. It may only come knocking once; after that it may be too late. Chance had something of gamble in it. We take a risk, and maybe we will win, or maybe we will lose, but it is better to do something than nothing whether we win or lose. So, with chance happening to all of us, we take our chances and make the best of them. Destiny is also a concept that many Biblical Scholars have argued over, and maybe even burned some at that stake for not believing with them. Some think that we are destined for eternal life or eternal damnation, and there isn't anything we can do about that but to live out our destined lives. This is a concept that I don't understand completely. We are destined, but yet we have a choice. Destiny is according to foreknowledge, and that gets really complicated. We have a freewill, and we choose, so we are not God's robots, but we chose to serve Him. Carol believes that when it is someone's time to die, that person will die. I think there is some truth in that, but we take precautions; we are careful, so we will not accidentally die. We take care of our health, so we will not die prematurely from a disease, or so that we will not slowly lose our health because we did not exercise and eat correctly.

We watched a movie some time ago in which the mother told her daughter that destiny predetermined whom she would marry. Well, destiny or choice determined another person, because the young lady fell in love with, and married some other person. This is related to the question, "Is there only one right person for you to marry, or are there many possibilities, and you pick one? What do you think?

[crisipicada]

This would be an interesting topic.

Many of the women in the barrio, tend to get married at the very early age. As their parents wanted them also to have there own family since the life is so hard. They never know that in the end, their children who got married at early age, would end up more burden when times they have their own babies. Why? It is because the grandma or grandpa would take care of their grandchild.

This is mostly happens in the remote areas or uncivilized places. Not only that, people who are not educated with regards to parenting and child rearing, they do not know what would be in the future, resulting to too many children in the family.

[m&m]

(I don't really know where to paste this story that i read today from my friends facebook. I choose it here anyway. )

WHETHER MARRIED OR NOT MARRIED U MUST READ THIS STORY

There was a man who loved his wife very much.
He could give her everything he could but the woman never appreciated.
Though the man was not rich, but he could share all he had with her.

He could buy for her clothes and the only thing his wife could say was that the husband was fulfilling his duty as a Man.

The man would buy a dress but in reply, the woman would mock at him, because the dress was of low quality.
The man could smile at her wife and tell her
"one day, I will become rich and I will buy for you all the expensive things you need"

The woman could never make any phone call unless she was requesting anything from her husband and once her request was not granted, all she could do was to quarrel for days, sometimes fight.

One evening, the man was coming from work, he bought a Kilogram of meat, happily the poor man expecting to suprise his wife, he reached home found the wife and showed her the package,
Then she shouted: "eh! And you call urself a man? Which husband, apart from you, do you think comes home with just one kilograme, no cooking oil, no other ingredients? You better leave it, ur a good-for-nothing husband."
then she threw the meat to the bush and went back home.
The Husband felt low but he never let down his love for her.

One day, the husband felt pain in his left foot, then a Tumour appeared on the foot, it then emerged growing big and more painful.

He went to the hospital and was found with cancer, he was poor to have a better medical care. Though he was sick he tried much as he could to provide for his family.

Two years later the condition worsened and he was put in the special care unit, he was operated and the foot was removed,
but unfortunately it was too late, the disease had affected more parts of the body and at last he called his wife and told him,
"LOOK AFTER MY CHILDREN, i feel i can't live any longer though i'll always be with u in spirit, may God be with you"

He then breathed his last and died.
The woman, and three children cried, for days, they buried him.

Two months later, the wife was bowing down on her husbands grave as she said these words:

My love,
you did all the best to me,
you treated me well and gave me all you could,
but all i could pay you, was endless quarrels and fights.
I never realized your importance until when ur gone,
when am the one to provide food, clothing, education and many others.
I remember when i threw ur one Kilogram of meat into the bush, but now i have no where to get it.
'THE GOOD DIE YOUNG' thats why u died when u were still young.
A husband whom i could mock at but you only smiled at me.
I know ur listening to me and i ask you to forgive me.
We are all missing ur presence as ur youngest daughter Diana is always crying asking when u'll be back.
But you will never leave our hearts
untill we Join u.
May you Rest in Eternal Peace.

Red, that is a very good story you shared to us. I want to share to you about my experience about my father.

Not to tell bad about my father, but his treatment to me and upbringing affects my life very much until now. You know, my father was so strict. I fear him to the point that I am afraid to talk to him, I tremble when he comes home ones a month, Saturday. Then, one time, I was kneeling on the table because I was not able to bring to him my brothers when he told me to look for them and bring to him. I just told my brother that papa was looking for them.

One time, he scold me because he was not contented when I wash the dishes. He showed me how with all angry, he treated me like in the military. For him, there is no room for mistake. When mama and papa get separated, he always talking to us bad words about my mama. He always tells us while eating in the table that if we will not want to stay with him, then we must go of our own. He was full of anger. As a little child at age 11, I was not able to deal with that situation and at that age, my papa and mama should have cared for us. We must have assurance of love because of that age I do not know how to respond but with anger and bitterness in my heart.

That is why, when I remember those things, it makes me sad and again affects my health. When people cheat on me or lying on me and not sincere, I feel that he can be like my father.

That is why it is better to treat someone be friends, because you will not be attached emotionally to her or him, while both are not ready to meet emotional need of a woman because we woman struggle with it.