I am guessing that english is not your childhood native language so you may be mis-understanding and mis-informing based on a mis-undersatnding of what I am saying. So please speak for yourself and not for me.
My point was--selection of a partner is very, very important. I believe it is the most important step. You are correct, divorce rate is regrettably high but I say the best way to avoid this is very, very careful selection of your partner. If you believe otherwise that is fine but please speak for yourself. My opinion stands as written and does not require your interpretation.
abufarsi wrote:dude,
Of course "tell me that selecting well is somehow a deterrent to marital failure" is WRONG as anybody who attempts it should be free from divorce or marital hardships. And as I said above, no matter the laws in place, the courtship ritual, or the sophistication of those involved, failure rates among couples, WORLD WIDE, is near 33%.
Basic sociology 101.
Further you imply that those who's marriages failed, failed in the courtship and this failure was ignored. I counter that the percentage of guys who married a woman they knew was a failure in the courtship, is a percentage less than 1% of marriages overall. Or to say statically insignificant. Further, those guys who would marry a woman that they did not accept through courtship, would not take anybodies advise, especially yours (one false move, dump the bitch). Now perhaps you were the guy who said on his wedding day "She and I really did not get along courting, but our marriage will succeed", and if that is so, I can see why you posed such a weak argument.
This leaves those people who thought at the time of the marriage that they did indeed "select well", far and away the vast majority of people at wedding ceremonies. And yet as suggested above... failure of first marriages is a constant 28-44%, or about 33%.
Your advise further suggests that the vast majority of Filipinas would fail (to remain as a marriage possibility)soon after your initial encounter. Would their entry into a successful marriage to a person who was not so stingy as you, not prove your advise ignorant in the extreme? (see failure rate above, apply it to those who you reject outright).
Notice I said "marriage failure" not "end in divorce".
PS
I said above that reasons for getting married in the foreigners country were.. I will ad one, the marriage failure rate among second and third marriages is near 80%, so if your country does not allow divorce then you are taking an unnecessary risk by getting married there if the guy you selected has been already divorced.