Do you believe in love at first sight?

[Edwin]

Being careful is very important. Yes, I understand, Red, that irreconcilable differences is grounds for divorce. Once you say I do, for better or for worse you are with that person forever, unless you will accept a divorce, which Red, says is a pain in the wallet which I can believe. You have child support, alimoney, division of properties, and a number of other unforeseen expenses, besides the emotion, physical, and mental trauma. Carol and I went together for a very short time before we got married, and we have been learning about each other ever since. There have been some tough times, but we are still together after almost 44 years. We knew who each other was almost all our lives, saw each other at church meetings periodically. We were from the same church organization. Carol had done missionary work in Children's homes in Alaska and Arizona. I was doing some practical work as an assistant pastor. We knew each other's families and relatives, although we really didn't know each other, except having seen each other many times over the years. It was like after a few weeks, "Let's get married, huh?" and we did! In fact one lady in church accused Carol of getting married because she was pregnant; no she was not pregnant, but it was a good surmise on this lady's part. We didn't hold it against her that she thought that. So I think love at first sight is fine, but get to know each other and develope a relationship first. There needs to be some knowledge and some trust.

[Smiley]

I experienced "love at first sight" once.After a good second look I couldn`t get away quick enough.

[Edwin]

Maybe love at first sight can be described as infatuation. Infatuation has a strong physical element. Also you are infatuated with someone that you do not know well. Often rather than being in love with the person in reality, you are in love with what you want them to be, or what you think they are. Infatuation has a strong impulsive element in it. Infatuation is blind, not seeing the faults of the other person. You want them badly, almost obsessively, but maybe you shouldn't want them.

Is What I'm Feeling Infatuation or Love? By Self Creation

Red Flag Thoughts:
“You are my life. I can't live without you.”
There are some feelings we have when infatuated that we don’t have when we’re feeling love. Some of the “symptoms” of infatuation are; feelings of panic, uncertainty, overpowering lust, feverish excitement, impatience, and/or jealously.

When infatuated, we are thrilled, but not happy, wanting to trust, yet suspicious. There are lingering, nagging doubts about our “partner in infatuation” and their love for us. We’re miserable when they’re away, almost like we’re not complete unless we’re with them. It’s a rush and it’s intense. It’s difficult to concentrate. And most infatuation relationships have a high degree of sexual charge around them. Somehow being with them is not complete unless in ends in some type of sexual encounter.

Do any of these “symptoms” resemble feelings of love? Hardly. So why do we become infatuated? Where does it come from? Perhaps it’s biological.

When infatuated we experience a surge of dopamine that rushes through the brain causing us to feel good. Norepinephrine flows through the brain stimulating production of adrenaline (pounding heart). Phenylethalimine (found in chocolate) creates a feeling of bliss. Irrational romantic sentiments may be caused by oxytocin, a primary sexual arousal hormone that signals orgasm and feelings of emotional attachment. Together these chemicals sometimes override the brain activity that governs logic.

The body can build up tolerances to these chemicals so it takes more of the substance to get that special feeling of infatuation. People who jump from relationship to relationship may be craving the intoxicating effects of these substances and may be “infatuation junkies”.

When the chemical flood dries up, the relationship either moves into a loving romantic one or there is disillusionment, and the relationship ends.

Urband Dictionary:

Infatuation almost can equate to lust. It is NOT love nor being in-love, however both usually start off as an infatuation. Infatuation is only an attraction for another person based only on what you initially see and not what you know about them. You do NOT know that person yet. It is only an attraction to someone based on what you WANT them to be verses who they really are. Infatuation turns to true love or being "in love" when you have accepted that person for who they are: their background, their weaknesses, their strengths, their character, their spirit, their values, their spirituality, where they are going in life, etc.

To prove the difference between infatuation and love is this: infatuation is what leads to the wedding but it is love that begins when the honeymoon is over and you discover the TRUE person you have married after your disagreements.
Infatuation has N OTHING to do with love because you know hardly anything about that person. It's only a form of immiature "puppy love" that occurs in high school. Infatuation does not last, while love does.

[red]

Maybe love at first sight can be described as infatuation. Infatuation has a strong physical element. Also you are infatuated with someone that you do not know well. Often rather than being in love with the person in reality, you are in love with what you want them to be, or what you think they are. Infatuation has a strong impulsive element in it. Infatuation is blind, not seeing the faults of the other person. You want them badly, almost obsessively, but maybe you shouldn't want them.

Is What I'm Feeling Infatuation or Love? By Self Creation

Red Flag Thoughts:
“You are my life. I can't live without you.”
There are some feelings we have when infatuated that we don’t have when we’re feeling love. Some of the “symptoms” of infatuation are; feelings of panic, uncertainty, overpowering lust, feverish excitement, impatience, and/or jealously.

When infatuated, we are thrilled, but not happy, wanting to trust, yet suspicious. There are lingering, nagging doubts about our “partner in infatuation” and their love for us. We’re miserable when they’re away, almost like we’re not complete unless we’re with them. It’s a rush and it’s intense. It’s difficult to concentrate. And most infatuation relationships have a high degree of sexual charge around them. Somehow being with them is not complete unless in ends in some type of sexual encounter.

Do any of these “symptoms” resemble feelings of love? Hardly. So why do we become infatuated? Where does it come from? Perhaps it’s biological.

When infatuated we experience a surge of dopamine that rushes through the brain causing us to feel good. Norepinephrine flows through the brain stimulating production of adrenaline (pounding heart). Phenylethalimine (found in chocolate) creates a feeling of bliss. Irrational romantic sentiments may be caused by oxytocin, a primary sexual arousal hormone that signals orgasm and feelings of emotional attachment. Together these chemicals sometimes override the brain activity that governs logic.

The body can build up tolerances to these chemicals so it takes more of the substance to get that special feeling of infatuation. People who jump from relationship to relationship may be craving the intoxicating effects of these substances and may be “infatuation junkies”.

When the chemical flood dries up, the relationship either moves into a loving romantic one or there is disillusionment, and the relationship ends.

Urband Dictionary:

Infatuation almost can equate to lust. It is NOT love nor being in-love, however both usually start off as an infatuation. Infatuation is only an attraction for another person based only on what you initially see and not what you know about them. You do NOT know that person yet. It is only an attraction to someone based on what you WANT them to be verses who they really are. Infatuation turns to true love or being "in love" when you have accepted that person for who they are: their background, their weaknesses, their strengths, their character, their spirit, their values, their spirituality, where they are going in life, etc.

To prove the difference between infatuation and love is this: infatuation is what leads to the wedding but it is love that begins when the honeymoon is over and you discover the TRUE person you have married after your disagreements.
Infatuation has N OTHING to do with love because you know hardly anything about that person. It's only a form of immiature "puppy love" that occurs in high school. Infatuation does not last, while love does.

Maybe it should be lust at first sight...ha ha ha! I agree all of the above.

[Edwin]

First sight I think is the place to begin. After all you have to start somewhere. But, how it goes depends on what happens after. Some may use beauty as the first sight attraction, but beauty is only skin deep, and there is much more to the person than beauty. I think it is wonderful to be beautiful, and to have someone who is beautiful though. Beauty changes after a few years. I have heard that a young man should look at the young lady's mother to see what she might be like, say in 20 years. Beauty is as beauty does, so if the person is truly beautiful, beautiful actions will come out as well. Then there is intelligence and personality. Does the person have a sense of humor. I like a sense of humor whether it is dry or wet, as long as the person is capable of being funny, keeping things light, and having a good time. Seriousness is important also. Being a real person is important, so be yourself above all things!

[red]

It is amazing for those people who are in love at first sight. Very magical especially when there is acceptance on both despite of differences. I think that is genuine love. Thus some say "love is blind".

[Edwin]

Yes, that is very true, Red, that for some there is love at first sight, and it is magical. It is wonderful when it happens like you say on both sides, and everyone is delighted. Maybe that is what is meant by marrital bliss. Yes, love can be blind, and should be blind to the other person's faults. It is good to have wide open eyes during courtship, and then have blind eyes during marriage, where 2 people over look each other's faults and love one another inspite of the problems.

[edeline]

Being careful is very important. Yes, I understand, Red, that irreconcilable differences is grounds for divorce. Once you say I do, for better or for worse you are with that person forever, unless you will accept a divorce, which Red, says is a pain in the wallet which I can believe. You have child support, alimoney, division of properties, and a number of other unforeseen expenses, besides the emotion, physical, and mental trauma. Carol and I went together for a very short time before we got married, and we have been learning about each other ever since. There have been some tough times, but we are still together after almost 44 years. We knew who each other was almost all our lives, saw each other at church meetings periodically. We were from the same church organization. Carol had done missionary work in Children's homes in Alaska and Arizona. I was doing some practical work as an assistant pastor. We knew each other's families and relatives, although we really didn't know each other, except having seen each other many times over the years. It was like after a few weeks, "Let's get married, huh?" and we did! In fact one lady in church accused Carol of getting married because she was pregnant; no she was not pregnant, but it was a good surmise on this lady's part. We didn't hold it against her that she thought that. So I think love at first sight is fine, but get to know each other and develope a relationship first. There needs to be some knowledge and some trust.

I am happy for you Edwin that though you and your wife have known each other for a very short time yet now you are on your 44 years of marriage. That is great. You are both lucky to have each other because I guess you are open and considerate towards each other and that make the relationship prosper. It is the same with searching and knowing someone through dating sites. Personally the people don't see each other yet and when planned that they will see they will be together for the rest of their lives though they have known each other for a short time. Different relationships work in different ways. I have seen not and heard that there are people who are in a relationship for 7 to 8 years and then later they broke up. One example is my friend's hubby wherein her hubby now was in a relationship with a girl before for 8 years I guess if I am not mistaken but they broke up for a reason which I don't know.

Wow I salute you Edwin. You ARE NEARLY on your golden anniversary wow...

[edeline]

It is amazing for those people who are in love at first sight. Very magical especially when there is acceptance on both despite of differences. I think that is genuine love. Thus some say "love is blind".

Yes you are right Mrs. Red that it is amazing to see how people fall in love with someone at first sight but it does happen to me and I am one of those kind hehehe.

I met someone on this forum before and he was my friend. I used to be his adviser and we were open with each other. We exchange emails and we had so much conversations as friends. Before I admired him so much and I wanted to see him badly but I knew I had my restrictions because he had a gf already at that time. When I saw his picture that he sent me, I said wow this is the man that I am talking to? very handsome and his face is very kind looking which symbolizes his attitudes towards people. I said how I wish he was single when I knew him.

Life is so tricky. I was just his adviser until such time that I was dreaming of him and I was imagining him too much. One day, he came here for me and not with his gf this time because their relationship failed. I could not dream and wish for more but to have him in my arms and be with him on sunset. I loved him before I met him in person and when I met him and when we have been together, my love grows more and more everyday. I was wishing that days will stand by for a while and he would stay longer by my side. I love this man so so much.

[Edwin]

Thank you for the salute, Edeline! You know the years keep rolling along, and there are hard times and good times. Someone added some advice about this saying what you do is to live the good times, the hard times, and you forget the hard times, and then you call it all good, and that makes a lot of sense. Time has a way of healing, and after a time you don't remember the bad, hard times. I am glad this has worked for you, Edeline, that you loved him, wanted him, and now you have him! It does seem that time flies when you are having fun, and before you know it, it is finished. Sometimes also time seems to stand still, and you wish it would hurry by, but it doesn't.