Friend, beloved, love

[mystic]

Well, I always fully agreed with this. But the other half has to think the same way, or you just end up abused and the marriage fails anyways. That's the biggest obstacle in finding one's true mate.

[Edwin]

You are right mystic! Because of the way we were raised we have that mindset, and it is very true that both have to be commited that way. I have tended to be a little harsh in times past and a little judgemental because of our marriage experience. Things have not been perfect in the past, but Carol and I have both been raised this way, so we don't even entertain ending the marriage. If I had someone who would give me no choice then it would be different, and it is true that it takes two, to make it work. If one insisted on bailing out, there's not much the other person can do, and then it is a puzzle to figure out how to handle that.

[crisipicada]

It is better to treat someone as a friend even you are trying to consider him/her to be your life time partner. It is better not to give false expectation and in the end, both of you are just hurting yourselves.

Guarding someone's heart is to treat someone without emotion involve.I do believe that the right time and in the right way and in the right heart is the best time to move into more than friends. Do you believe on this?

[Edwin]

Uninvolved and unattached people are more free to be themselves. More involvement causes some people to try to put on what they really are not. They feel obligated to act in a cerain manner, rather than just being themselves. So basically the person trying to have a more serious relationship is putting on airs, trying to be perfect and make everything perfect, where as the person with a less serious relationship is just trying to be themselves, have fun, and live without emotional attachments.

[mystic]

About friends, indeed there are many good verses in the Bible. However, there are a few verses that say just some alarming things. I wonder what everybody thinks.

"Beware of your friends; do not trust anyone in your clan. For every one of them is a deceiver, and every friend a slanderer" (Jeremiah 9:4)

"Friend deceives friend, and no one speaks the truth. They have taught their tongues to lie; they weary themselves with sinning" (Jeremiah 9:5)

"All my friends are waiting for me to slip, saying, “Perhaps he will be deceived; then we will prevail over him and take our revenge on him.”" (Jeremiah 20:10)

"They misled you and overcame you — those trusted friends of yours. Your feet are sunk in the mud; your friends have deserted you" (Jeremiah 38:22)

"Bitterly she weeps at night, tears are on her cheeks. Among all her lovers there is no one to comfort her. All her friends have betrayed her; they have become her enemies" (Lamentations 1:2)

"All your allies will force you to the border; your friends will deceive and overpower you; those who eat your bread will set a trap for you, but you will not detect it" (Obadiah 1:7)

"Do not trust a neighbor; put no confidence in a friend" (Micah 7:5)

"If someone asks, ‘What are these wounds on your body?’ they will answer, ‘The wounds I was given at the house of my friends’" (Zechariah 13:6)

[Edwin]

Well, I think there are friends, and then there are friends. Not all friends are true, but many are. Someone who does you wrong is not really your friend. Maybe at one time that person was your friend, but there is something wrong with the term friend describing a person who turns on you, or in some other way betrays you. Maybe they started out as your friends and then turned the other way. Maybe that person was never your friend but was a pretender. I don't understand someone who would be called a friend, and would do his/her friend wrong. It just doesn't make sense. The friend that sticketh closer than a brother would not do you any harm! That is what I think anyway!

[Gary2310]

Hi friends, I recently lost my all-time beloved best friend of 20 years on Feb. 20th. He and I spoke every night for 7 months during his horrific battle with pancreatic cancer, I was his main spiritual/emotional support person. After he died, I cried every day for 3 weeks... the memorial service for him wasnt until 2 weeks ago. Since the service I once again find myself feeling this constant deep pain and emptiness, like an energetic depression.

I didnt expect there to be so much ongoing distress and emptiness after this event, is this normal?

Thanks for your ears, God bless

jeromyjfez, grief is one of those difficult emotions that we all experience at one or another. To avoid grief, we must be willing/able to avoid having loved. I know very well what it's like to lose someone that is dear to you. It can hurt beyond description. When I was hurting, a good friend gave this to me. Maybe this will help you as well...

"God looked around his Garden and found an empty place.
He then looked down upon his earth and saw your loving face.

He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest.
His Garden must be beautiful, he always takes the best.
He knew that you were suffering, he knew you were in pain.
And knew that you would never get well on earth again.
He saw your path was difficult, he closed your tired eyes,
He whispered to you "Peace be Thine" and gave you wings to fly.
When we saw you sleeping so calm and free of pain,
We would not wish you back to earth to suffer once again.
You've left us precious memories, your love will be our guide,
You live on through your children, you're always by our side.
It broke our hearts to lose you, but you did not go alone.
For part of us went with you on the day God called you home"

I wish you the best, my friend, and may the Lord's perfect peace encompass you.

[Edwin]

That is a very nice poem, Gary, for the people who are hurting and in pain because of losing a loved one. God has placed within us a will to live, so we struggle to attempt to extend our lives. We have this same mind set for our loved ones, friends, relatives, and acquaintences. We want to stay, and we want to keep everyone with us as well. We do not live forever. Our bodies are only good to last a certain period of time, even if we are healthy all our lives. Then accident and disease happens and take some of us away. There is one family that started out just a couple of miles from here on a homestead. That family has had so many accidents, that it is just hard to understand. Two died as young men in an airplane crash will looking at and or herding cows and horses with the airplane. One was killed when hay chopper blades hit him, actually fans to drive the air, and threw him against the barn, dead of course. Another died in a trucking poisoning accident. Another died in a car accident. Then another died with an airplane caught fire in the air. Another died getting caught in a grain auger while feeding cows, and not many of them, although a few lived to be old. I think sometimes the time comes when life is not worth holding on to any longer. My uncles family kept him hooked to the machine for days after he was already brain dead. My mother had us all sign a form that we would not do that to her. God gives life, and He takes life, and He knows best. We leave that to Him, and sometimes it is hard to understand why some of us have to suffer, but God knows, and He cares, and we trust Him. The glories that will be revealed in us are not even worthy to be compared with the suffering that we do experience at times. We need grace to live for God, and we also need grace when we die, and He has promised never to leave us or forsake us, so we trust in Him.

[m&m]

Well, I always fully agreed with this. But the other half has to think the same way, or you just end up abused and the marriage fails anyways. That's the biggest obstacle in finding one's true mate.

Well, it is very advantageous if both couple are Christian and mature one. Because they know and understand that even in hardest or painful problems in marriage, they will stick together and help each other.

In marriage, both couples my have understanding that one my not be selfish or must be giving each other. Well, most of all, when the man gain the heart of a woman sincerely, with the help of the Lord, and devotion to God, I believe marriage would be happy and strong. Of course, when I am sad, I need a hug most of the time.