being_meh wrote:Since i was a child i really dreamed of having my own so called family. i thought then it is so easy to achieve, but unfortunately it is one of the most difficult to have. not everyone is lucky enough to finally get that..as ive been growing up, i saw a lot of couple who have at first madly in love with each other,got married have children but after a few years they just broke up..leaving their children wondering why their parents got separated.i know how it is to be in a broken family.. i know how it affects the child...i should know coz i've been growing up with a broken home...my parents got separated when i was only 5 years old. and its really hard for me and my brother. coz we don't know what's really happening and to whom we are going to be with..i just keep on telling myself if i grew up i will do everything to be a good person, a wife and a mother. i wont let anything ruin my family no matter what happened.i will fight until the end.But i was wrong, even how much u tried to save the relationship as long as ur significant partner don't do anything to help u out. its not gonna work anymore. u are going to be tired of trying. especially when the love, respect and trust are all gone. u cant fix it anymore.. u would rather stay out in the relationship than staying on it.. it is sometimes better for the kid.... im not saying i am already gave up on my dreams.. i still hoping that i will find it one day. i am just waiting and keeps on praying..
who knows he might be there outhere wondering also...
how about u?
Let us talk about Parent-Adult-Child. when we were still a Child, we were loved by parents, and we were dependent to our parents. Parents has been a great contribution to our lives. We learn from them good and bad. That is why, parents should try best to be an example to children. That is what parents are all about. As we grow and become adult, we learn more and we adapt to our environment. We lean from school, learn from others etc.
Talking about marriage, many live in illusion. Someone day dream that marriage is all about happiness, having kids and be happy. And when problems comes and expectation fall, then so with the relationship. Someone say, "this is not what i want". Because at first, the person is living in illusion and not in reality.
For the family who were not successful, we must try to erase in our mind that that life is not like that. As psychologist says, what we learn or enter our mind will always be replayed. That is why when bad things happen to our family, or having bad experience, like broken family, trials in family and misunderstanding, we must learn that it is not the end to it.
We will be able to replay in our life, but we can stop to replay for it. Example, we might have been into broken relationship, problems and broken family. We must not affect our life for it, it might affect us or really affects us, because that is what we feel as what our NOT OK CHILD. What I am saying is that, our experience in life what make us NOT OK will be OK.
on the other hand, as Christian, we have an encouragement from reading scripture, enlightenment and hope that, life is not just like that. That is why next time we feel this way, we must remind ourselves that my NOT OK life will have an OK life.