by Edwin » Tue Apr 16, 2013 1:06 am
Okay, the point here, DannyJones, is how you want to come off to the person you are trying to impress. You can be extroverted; you can be introverted; or you can be offensive in your approach to other people. If you read this posting subject from the beginning you will realize that the person who started this posting was not a very nice person, and he came off as being quite offensive! That person was banned because of bad connections on the internet, and a possible trouble maker. So that is the history here on this posting. The subjected has been delved into before without offense authored by people who were nice people.
Getting to know your person is like dancing with them. You work with them, and not against them, so you are careful, or should be not to violate cultural norms, or be offensive to that person. Get to know that person as well as you can, but be careful not to cross that fine line between gaining knowledge of the person, and offending them. So take your time, and get to know as much about the person as you can, but you would be wise to pay attention to the person on here who gave warning of action that offend. There are people who are like “Bulls in china shops.” They don’t have good sense, they are awkward, and they don’t even know when they are breaking things. So, take some good advice, rather than being offensive.
Yes pay attention to the religion, because for many of us, we believe what the scriptures, “Do not become unequally yoked together,” because it will definitely cause problems. The education is a personal one. I am well educated, having a degree and endorsements beyond the bachelor’s, and taking many classes to support my teaching certificate. But, education is not a big deal for me. If I were looking, which I am not, because I am married, but if I were I would be just as happy to be with someone who only had an elementary education as well as I would with someone who was well educated. What I would not want is to find someone who because of education would think that they would be above everyone else, and in my opinion, some educated people are very stupid, but they just have a lot of stuff in their heads, but that does not add value to that person, as far as I am concerned. Career is something that some people place great value on, and I am retired, so I don’t care one way or the other about career ideas.
Income is something that can be a maker or a breaker. Some people are willing to live on very little and enjoy life, while others can’t be happy unless they can keep up with the Jones’s. “Godliness with contentment is great gain,” and we are to be content with food and raiment,” so as long as I can have enough income to be comfortable that is all that is important! I don’t need to be rich to be happy!
Family, that you mentioned, is important, to have similar ideas about the kind of family that you want. There is a saying, “When you marry the person, you marry the entire family.” That being said, you will be expected to help her family. You can do what you are able to make things better for yourself, your wife, and her family. It you don’t have an understanding you are sure to have problems. If you marry a Filipina, you do not want to have her entire family against you. This is something that needs to be worked out between you, your wife, and her family.
If you ask her questions that make her feel uncomfortable, you don’t need to worry about a relationship with her, because you won’t have that.
Just look at the beginning posts on this subject, and you will have a better idea of what is meant by asking questions that you shouldn’t be asking, which will be insulting and will get you no where.