Marriage

[mystic]

Oh... didn't expect that from Red!! Why is everybody picking on me?

I think that Crisi is too perfect and I am too faulty. She deserves somebody much better than me.

And maybe I have another preference. For example m&m. Just kidding.

Indeed I just expressed my thoughts to participate in the forum, but I am already reserved. Hope not to become too old before finding out who she is But I will definitely wait just for her and pray.

Oh, I hope my twisted thoughts make sense

[red]

I thought i would speak up my mind coz everytime i read on here i find people that are in my opinion ....match.

[Smiley]

Hey Red: Did you notice that your post above is your 1000th? Go ahead,do your victory dance!

[red]

Yehey!!!! i didn't know.... Is there a price for that?!

[jadegil6]

A price? hmmm...let me get my calculator out to see how much you owe.

[Edwin]

Yes, Red, be careful with those alphabetic letters! It may cost you money!!!!

Marriage is a deep, deep subject, and there are lots of opposing ideas about it. Ideally the young couple has not sex with anyone else before marriage unless one of the former mates has died. That is ideal, but it may be rare, I don't know? This may be observed in the Philippine's culture more than in western cultures? Look around you, and how many have remained pure until the wedding day. It is probably not a high percentage. In our society here in the USA the trend in the people outside of church is to have premarital sex and live together. There was a time that it was an embarrassment, but not since I was growing up. Some ended up with babies, and marriage didn't work out for them, so they were single parents with babies, and while initially it was an embarrassment especially for people in the church, that embarrassment didn't last long. We have a friend who says that there is no such thing as an illigitimate child, but there are illigitimate parents. We as parents teach our children, and we try to set an example for them to follow, but the children chose their own way often inspite of what we try to impart to them.

Another thing that has been taught in the church and in the home is that marriage is to last forever, and people getting married should not get divorced. That is the ideal, but there has been a lot of divorces in our family and in our relatives. It happens. Perhaps most of the time, the problems should be dealt with, and the marriages should be saved, but in the case of our daughter who was almost beaten to death by her husband, who was beating her on a regular basis, I think it was wrong of her to stay with him even after the first beating. Now he is in federal prison for a very long time as a result of that. Some seem to easily justify divorce and remarriage. I have a hard time with that because I can't see from the Scriptures where divorce and remarriage is acceptable. I know there are some who use wordings in scripture to justify the divorce and remarriage, but for the most part I think that when two people get marriage they are supposed to stay that way until one dies, and then the one still living is allowed to remarry.

[Edwin]

The question has come up as to whether or not both people in the marriage relationship should work. Some don't want to work. Some don't want their spouses to work. Some want their spouses to work. I have read about some on visajourney who were struggling with this same subject. Should my wife work, or should she not? Some coming into the country wanted to work to lesson the boredom factor.

Traditionally in this country, USA, there were large families, and most everyone lived on some kind of a farm or ranch. The wife did not work, but took care of the children, and often helped with the garden and other chores of various kinds. Often times the children worked just like adults, and one of my mother's brothers resented that, and determined that his children were not going to work until they became adults. In our family I worked just like an adult when I was 14 years old. One time my mother worked in the apple shed during the apple harvest time when I was a teenager, just for a little spending money. Other than that she was needed in our home and on our farm/ranch until after my Dad died, when she went to work during harvest time in the apples again, until she was old enough that she drew retirement, and it would have been difficult after that time for her to have worked, so she didn't.

Most of the time when our kids were growing up, Carol did not work, but was simple a housewife, home mother. She had very short lived jobs a few times, but she felt that she want and needed to be there for our kids. My older sister worked all the while her kids were growing up, and babysitters raised their kids, which was not ideal. My older brother's wife was a house mother until their kids grew up, and their marriage failed in divorce.

Should the husband and wife both work?

[Edwin]

Many people have many ideas about whether or not both marriage partners should work. Carol worked for a while in a pharmacy after our kids were grown, but then she decided that she didn't want to work, so she didn't. Then we moved to a place where both of us worked in a resort. She was happy to work, because she loved being/living in this place where her ancestors had been. I encouraged her to keep working because it really did help financially for both of us to be working. Her health began to decline, and she wanted to quit working, but part of the time she was happy to work, because Carol is a people person, and she is actually happier when she is working. But, she started complaining about having to work, and said as a diabetic she was afraid that she might not live past 70 years old, and she did not want to work until the day she dropped dead. Well, Carol is going on 72 years old, and she has not worked for 5 years, so I am happy for her on that. The last couple of years that she worked, she had to use both her breaks and her lunch hour to sleep just to get through her day, so after that she had no business working any longer.

I know all the arguments for and against working. The ecomony continues to get worse, and people are under pressure to work so that they can survive. Some people work because they want to maintain a certain standard of living. They want to drive a cadallac, or they want to live in a fancy house. The couple has to decide what is important to them, and if it is better for both to work, or not work. Sometimes it might be better to live with less and have the wife stay in the home raising the children. Others don't want to do it that way, and they feel the pressure for everyone to work. This is an individual decision whether to work, or whether not to work, and if the couple can survive with the decision that they make.

Carol and I are retired. Carol is not capable of working because of poor health. I am physically capable of working if anyone would hire an old guy like me! But I have a little social security check each month that helps, and then I have a couple of rentals that are not reliable incomes, but we get buy, watching our spending very closely. I could teach in some of the public schools near by, but it is 25 miles to our nearest town, so that would be 50 miles round trip to the nearest employment opportunity, so for me, for now it doesn't seem like it would pay to work.

[red]

A price? hmmm...let me get my calculator out to see how much you owe.

Ha Ha! Prize not price...sorry...he he...

[red]

Yes, Red, be careful with those alphabetic letters! It may cost you money!!!!

Marriage is a deep, deep subject, and there are lots of opposing ideas about it. Ideally the young couple has not sex with anyone else before marriage unless one of the former mates has died. That is ideal, but it may be rare, I don't know? This may be observed in the Philippine's culture more than in western cultures? Look around you, and how many have remained pure until the wedding day. It is probably not a high percentage. In our society here in the USA the trend in the people outside of church is to have premarital sex and live together. There was a time that it was an embarrassment, but not since I was growing up. Some ended up with babies, and marriage didn't work out for them, so they were single parents with babies, and while initially it was an embarrassment especially for people in the church, that embarrassment didn't last long. We have a friend who says that there is no such thing as an illigitimate child, but there are illigitimate parents. We as parents teach our children, and we try to set an example for them to follow, but the children chose their own way often inspite of what we try to impart to them.

Another thing that has been taught in the church and in the home is that marriage is to last forever, and people getting married should not get divorced. That is the ideal, but there has been a lot of divorces in our family and in our relatives. It happens. Perhaps most of the time, the problems should be dealt with, and the marriages should be saved, but in the case of our daughter who was almost beaten to death by her husband, who was beating her on a regular basis, I think it was wrong of her to stay with him even after the first beating. Now he is in federal prison for a very long time as a result of that. Some seem to easily justify divorce and remarriage. I have a hard time with that because I can't see from the Scriptures where divorce and remarriage is acceptable. I know there are some who use wordings in scripture to justify the divorce and remarriage, but for the most part I think that when two people get marriage they are supposed to stay that way until one dies, and then the one still living is allowed to remarry.

I should look and read twice what I post here hehe..should be prize...