JOKER'S CORNER

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Re: JOKER'S CORNER

Postby Edwin » Tue May 22, 2012 11:15 pm

Yes, Smiley, little guys get those words mixed up, and it is so cute because they are so innocent. They just hear what they hear, and it isn't always what the rest of us hear. This little boy had parents who sent him to Sunday School each sunday. This particular Sunday his dad gave him two quarters. He told his son, "Son, you put the one quarter in your Sunday School offering, and after church you can use the other quarter to buy some icecream." As he was on his way to church, he was looking at those two quarters in the palm of his hand. One quarter fell to the pavement, rolled into the street drain, and the the little boy said, "Sorry God, there went your quarter!" I guess he still got icecream. A pastor told that joke one time years ago before he sent the ushers to take up the offering. :roll: :roll: :lol: :lol: :D :D
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Re: JOKER'S CORNER

Postby red » Wed May 23, 2012 12:53 am

One time i caught my auntie chatting online. I was standing behind her. She is not used to internet terms and slang english. She chatted this guy from brazil. The guy asked her : you wanna see my cock? I did not interrupt my auntie she was not aware of me behind her. My auntie replied to the guy: no thanks, we have plenty of them on our backyard and they are for fighting. The guy's face was confused then he turned off cam and offline. Then i burst to laughter. My auntie was surprised. Gthen i told her what the guy wanted. My auntie said good thing he vanished.
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Re: JOKER'S CORNER

Postby DavidM » Wed May 23, 2012 5:14 am

Red, your auntie has cocks for fighting? Isn't that illegal?
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Re: JOKER'S CORNER

Postby red » Wed May 23, 2012 8:13 am

It is legal here in philippines as a gambling. It is not my auntie who raise cocks for derby it is my lolo.
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Re: JOKER'S CORNER

Postby Edwin » Wed May 23, 2012 10:26 am

People get into pretty bad trouble, and get jail time for having cock fights, along with gambling. Often where there is cock fights and gambling there are other bad things happening also, and not long ago someone running one of those north of us a few miles was also threatening to kill some people, so it ended up being a huge bad deal.

I understand horse/stallion fights are allowed in some places in the Philippines, and in other places horse fighting is illegal. The horse fighting seems more humane as usually the horses don't die, but just get beat up a bit, but with the cocks, they often die. :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
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Re: JOKER'S CORNER

Postby Edwin » Fri May 25, 2012 1:55 am

Years ago I played bass trombone with the Okanogan Valley Orchestra and Chorus. We had a, I think he was a Luthern, Minister playing a French Horn part. He was always telling jokes. I didn't remember very many of them, but I do remember one I thought I would share with you.

What do you call the man who sounds the bell in the bell tower of the church who falls while sounding the bell, pulling the rope? HE IS A DEAD RINGER! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: JOKER'S CORNER

Postby jadegil6 » Fri May 25, 2012 7:38 pm

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.
The widow decided to check her e-mail expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: July 19, 2010

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in.

I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P. S. Sure is freaking hot down here!!!!
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Re: JOKER'S CORNER

Postby red » Fri May 25, 2012 9:59 pm

There were two ladies in salon talking about under arm and bikini whitening. One lady asked "why is it that under arms and bikini lines are usually dark...I answered her.." ma'am because they are hiding in the dark".
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Re: JOKER'S CORNER

Postby Edwin » Sat May 26, 2012 12:21 am

This guy was telling his friend about the experience he had picking rasberrries. There were a number of rows, and he was picking away, when suddenly a bear came up to him! He gave the bear his bucket of berries and started running with the bear right behind him, up one row and down the other. He ran until he was nearly played out. His friend asked him how he got away from that bear, and he told his friend there was a lake nearby, and he ran out onto the frozen ice on the lake, and the bear slipped and fell and the ice, and he managed to get away while the bear was slipping and sliding on the ice. His friend said, "Come on now, ripe berries and a frozen Lake?" His friend told him "that is how long the bear chased me, until winter when the lake froze over!" :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: JOKER'S CORNER

Postby Edwin » Sun Jun 17, 2012 12:18 am

My Dad told about this guy who came to work beat up. He had black and swollen eyes. The guys working with him asked him what happened. He said that he went to a wedding the night before, and there was a man there that said he was the best man, and the guy who had been beaten up, said, "He really was the best man!" :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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