JOKER'S CORNER

[Edwin]

I am preoccupied with what happened to our facebook account, so you are hearing a lot about it. There is something kind of funny that happened. We are all aware that the bad guys use viruses of various kinds to harvest passwords, and then they get into your information and have access where they should not. Anyway we were watching one of the NCIS programs, and on that program a bad guy got someone's passwords and emptied their bank account. I had to put the movie on pause and check my online banking to see that it was okay, and otherwise I could not have enjoyed the movie! Everything was fine with no activity that was not right!

[Edwin]

My cousin whose uncle has a step daughter living in Manila working for the United Nations, posted this on her facebook account. I thought it was pretty funny!

After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.
As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, ‘Honey that was wonderful. Why did you stop?' To which he responded: 'I found the remote.'...

Don't you think that was funny?

[red]

I thought for a second why Sir Edwin post that kind of thing on here. anyway, that was funny Sir.

We went shopping for food the other evening. My eldest daughter saw some doughnuts. She told me to get some for her. Then her daddy stopped her because it is not healthy lots of sugars and makes fat. Then my eldest said "I am gonna go to mommy". I was on the other side aisle of groceries. She called me "mommy, daddy wont let me get the doughnuts but Mommy, i saw many fat kids at school." That line I immediately got the thought. So I said to her " so you wont mind getting fat so long as you can eat those sweets." she nodded yes. Then I told her "that is my girl." So she grabbed a bag of them.

[Edwin]

That was funny, Red! Yes, at first I thought that might be a pornographic story, but then my cousin is a strong Baptist Christian, so I figured that she would not post anything that was not good. I thought it was quite humorous!

You know, Red, the grocery stores in this country put things on lower shelves that they know little kids will beg for, and you know who wins! Most of the time anyway. Anyway they put what the little kids want on lower shelves as that is part of their sale's tactics.

When I took that nutrition class a couple of years ago or so, I became aware that there are more little kids getting fatter/heavier than ever before. It really is a problem in our society. Not all little fat kids are unhealthy though. Our oldest grandson would be considered obese by anyone's standards. It runs in his Dad's family's genes. He was just destined to be fat/huge/overweight, but his Mom our daughter has worked hard to keep his weight down, or he would weight 600 or 800 pounds, but for him, he is healthy. He attempts to eat less and exercise more, and he is still heavy, but he is healthy I think. You can go too far one way or the other, and you know that, Red. We should not deny ourselves too much, because that is unhealthy psychologically. So, give your daughter a bag of donuts, let her eat them, once in a while as a treat, and that is good. I was skinny, skinny, skinny until I was maybe 40 years old. Then I went from that to where I would have become a fat person if I had allowed myself to keep eating unrestrained, and not gotten enough exercise. So now I try to eat healthy, eat less, exercise more, and indulge on peanut butter, honey, and milk, as well as dark slightly sweetened chocolate bars and milk!

[Edwin]

I think our grandson and his future wife will be good for each other. The are both a little over weight, but our grandson is a lot over weight and always has been. He was eating a large muffin, and he ate the bottom off from it first, because the top had the goodies on it. He got the bottom eaten off, and his fiance asked him if it was good, and he said, no, but he was looking forward to the top, so she slapped it out of hand and stomped on it, telling him, if it was not that good he shouldn't put the calories in his body! He was stunned at first, but soon after I think he thought that was funny! His mother has been his food police, but he has been away from home for a number of years, but now he has another food police!

[Edwin]

Yesterday we ate at a place called Frank's Diner. It was a restaurant inside an old railroad car. They had a couple of coffee mugs in there that Carol wanted, and she wanted me to get a new hat/cap for me, as the one that I have been wearing is nice, but old and came from the dump. I told the lady I wanted the one in the display case, so she brought me one from their storage, but I thought the one in the display case had more red in it, so she got it for me, and then I discoved that the extra red was from a relection in the glass and the two were identical!

[red]

alright, call me stupid or whatever...im still learning american expressions. One time a child of our relative here got whiny so the mother said " hold your horses!!!" I looked around thought where are the horses????

[Edwin]

Yes, Red, you are not stupid, and it takes a long time to learn all the expressions. "Hold your horses," is a funny expression, and one that most of us are well familiar with. I think the background is when in this country they used to use lots of horses for everything from riding individually, to using horses to pull buggies and carts, as well as using them in the field to pull plows turning the soil and cutting the weeds out of the field. I have ridden horses that like to run, but I have never been on a true run away horse. A runaway horse is pretty hard to impossible to stop. Back before they used cars for transportation, every so often horses pulling a buggy would run away, and it was quite frightening for the people riding in the buggy. I think many times it would be something that would spook, or scare the horse or horses. Then in the case of the buggy they were trying to run away from that buggy, and it would just keep following them. The faster they would run, the fast that buggy would come behind them until something would stop them! In the early days of the automobile, many people would hallor "Woa" to their car, and even pull the steer wheel off in some cases, afterwhich they would drive right on through the wall or knock down the fence, or drive right up against or into the building. Their cars would not obey their commands as their horses did!

"Keep your pants on," is another expression used with the same idea, and there are some that are not so nice, so I am not going to repeat them here, but no doubt you will hear some of them in time!

[Edwin]

We have used out houses in the past years. My family used an out house until I was 2 years old when we moved to a place where there was in door plumbing! We lived there 13 years, and moved back to a place where we had electricity and running water in the house, one cold water spicket. We heated water on top of a wood cookstove, and sometimes on the electric stove, then we took our baths in an oblong galvinized tub in the kitchen. After I was gone away from home and married, my Dad and my older brother built an indoor bathroom for my Mom. This place had an out house for the school that was here at one time, so our kids moved it, but it is still on the same property. They have outlawed the outhouses here, and you can't legally put one up any more, but it was grandfathered in, meaning because it was already here it could be left here.

The last typhoon in the Philippines did some damage to my friend's father-in-laws house. It blew most of his roof off, and blew his outhouse over on its side. I think they stood the out house back up before they fixed the foof! His son is a builder, so it was no problem to repair the roof on the Nipa building they, his father-in-law and his sister-in-law were living in! Now I think they are repaired from the damaging effects of the last typhoon to hit the Philippines! They are in Southern Negros Oriental.

[red]

I am new in america and sometimes the people i talk with finds me funny because of the way i talk or understands.

a co worker asked me how i will spend valentines day. I said it is not just for me and my husband. We will make our daughters special on that day too. Then co worker said he wants it special too. Candle lit around the bath tub and wine. Then i said " and a rubber ducky on tub too" he said " no no i want a real ducky that says quack quack quack" so we laughed. He was referring to his wife.