crisipicada wrote:boney594 wrote:Is it wrong to want a wife that does not work outside the home, who stays home and manages the household. I am just curious. This is one of the MAJOR disagreements that I had with my first, and only, wife. And just to clarify, money was not an issue, she didn't need to work.
Thanks to anyone who takes the time to add their thoughts to this.
It is good that both work together for the family. Life is so hard now and sometimes people can't eat three times a day. Better to work both. If not then let her have something to do for income so that the husband will not be pressured for the family needs and the wife can help too.
This is interesting, Crisi, because some people love to work, while others consider it bondage. Most of our married life Carol has not worked, but only little jobs for a day or 2. And she didn't have to as we had enough to live on, and she took care of the house and the kids. When I pastored churches, she was good to help with anything needed. Then the few years that we were farming/ranching she was good to go out and help with anything needed, including feeding the cows, where she would drive the vehicle loaded with hay while I would kick the bales of alfalfa off to the cows, or she would kick the hay off and I would drive. Our twins were twins were maybe 3 years old, and they would ride in the cab. Sometimes I would put the pickup loaded with hay in the lowest gear, get in the back to feed, and no one would drive, the pickup would go slowly whereever it wanted to go.
Then Carol worked for a drug store as a cashier/floor person/B-Tech in the pharmacy for a few years. She loved the job at first, but she was older than the other employees, and they discriminated against her because she was a woman, and she was older than the other, although not much older. While she did that I substitute taught in the Okanogan Country Public schools. She got insulted/offended/unhappy, so she quit her job. It threw us into a financial bind when she quit that time, but she didn't feel like she wanted to take the abuse.
We were suffereing financially and going into credit card debt just to try to eat and pay the bills. Then we got a chance to move to a National Park where both of us worked and she loved being there, so she was glad to work. Neither one of us made a lot of money, but we did well enough to get out of debt and live well again. It not only helped us to both be wroking, but it was fun also as we saw each other every hour or 2 through the day, and then the circumstances of that allowed us to be together a lot, and do a lot of things together. That was such a good time that we both wish we were still living there, but things changed so that we needed to move here, and now those wonderful days are just a memory. Carol's heath is not good enough now for her to work anywhere doing anything, so we are just doing the best we are able to do, and retired. If I needed to work and had a job opportunity I could as I am still strong and healthy most of the time. I do have some projects to work on, and then being retired we are free to go spend time with the kids too, and that is fun.
I think if a young couple wants to work and needs to that is wonderful as it not only provideds added resources to help live on, but there is also sense of comradely/community while both work together for the good of the whole. Then the young lady can have her own money to send some home to help out her family there as well. Some I know build their future this way, and some build themselves a house to live in in the Philippines. Our friends have done this hiring the family to build for them, and then they have sometlhing vauable in the Philippines, and the family in the Philippines have a way to make a living from it/ pay there bills, and buy their food, so it is a winning situation for all of them.
