Husband and Wife - What Are Your Roles in the Family?

[Edwin]

That is the problem for many people is that they are selfish instead of being selfless. The Bible says that it is more blessed to give than to receive. If each marriage partner is concentrating on giving the needs of the other will be met. Too often each person is concentrating on receiving, or taking rather than giving, and it can get very ugly. It is also true that someone has to recieve in order for the other person to receive a blessing for giving. So, sometimes it is important to be able to receive gracefully. If God puts it in someone's heart to give, then you need to receive it as from the Lord!

[mystic]

Some of my religious teachers used to say that, when you receive, all goes only to one. Of course, the ego-centric person will not be able to take advantage of all that he receives. He will just keep accumulating without even appreciating what he is getting and not giving back.
But if you give, you can give to many. So, in comparison, your satisfaction can multiply by the factor of the persons you help, or to whom you give. Giving has really no end... So, it's a way through which you can transcend yourself and your possibilities, and experiment a divine blessing, because it is like a chain: to more people you give, more people will giving you back. So you soon find yourself in a giant wheel.

The problem is if you find yourself only giving, and nobody gives you back. That is a slave condition. Somebody advises you should then move to another environment and find/bring positive people around you. No tree grows in a desert. Anyways, the dew of the Lord can make miracles. He can even send you the manna in the desert.

[wayne208]

The Posts that The Ladies have Put in this Thread . Crisi & Red in Particular.Show why A Lot of American Men Love the Filipina's ... Sure they are Beautiful But that is Not it .As Their are a Lot of beautiful American Ladies . It is their Faith In God and Family Values that Makes them So Beautiful.. AT Least That is what I think .I also agree with Edwin when It comes time to shop stand Behind the Lady .. She Might see a Sale sign and Trample over You to get to whatever is on Sale ..

[Edwin]

There was a country western song some years ago, kind of making fun of people's last names. This one song I can't remember well, but I do remember the song singing about Johnny Cash, taking out the trash! I agree that filipinas have true beauty, inner beauty, and especially those who have Jesus in their hearts. If more people knew what a treasure they are, there would be more people after them than is the case. Love, loyalty, family values, and helping each other are some of the wonderful qualities. They also entertain strangers as the Bible suggests that we should. They are very polite, and friendly, and even though you have never seen them before, they make you feel like you are their best friends!

[Edwin]

I have upgraded my idea about what turns me on! It is chocolate candies, beautiful flowers, and I will add soft beautiful music, especially the romantic kind! Also candle lite dinners, we had some of them because the power had failed, adds a romantic touch as well! There are no better love songs than the church/hymn songs that we sing to God whether in church, or whether we are making a melody in our hearts to the Lord! Going to church with your precious one adds a special touch as well, being in the presence of the Lord and experiencing His Blessing on your/our lives! I have other ideas also, but these are a few!

MARRIED OR NOT, YOU SHOULD READ THIS ...


“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She s...
at down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

[crisipicada]

I really love to cook. I try to practice to invent anything so that I know already how to cook for my future husband and children.

Aside from that, I try to teach my niece and nephews, doing tutorial, and also giving them godly advice when we see each other. This is one way to practice. As the saying goes, "Do something while waiting".

[Edwin]

Crisi, what you wrote reminds me of what my Dad used to say periodically. He would say "We will do something even if it is wrong!" Anything we do is better than doing nothing. Sometimes in school we don't know what to write, but when you start writing, the thoughts come, and those thoughts bring other thoughts, and before long you have written more than you need to!

It sounds like you are a great cook, Crisi, just throwing things together and seeing how they taste! That is what makes for great cooking! While teaching your neices and nephews adding godly advice is wonderful, and it will give them knowledge they will never forget!

[crisipicada]

I believe that it must come from the heart when you do things not just because it is the husband's obligation or the wife's obligation. For me, it is important that both has the same conviction to do what is the role or roles of wife and husband.

[Smiley]

I believe that it must come from the heart when you do things not just because it is the husband's obligation or the wife's obligation. For me, it is important that both has the same conviction to do what is the role or roles of wife and husband.

This is the most relevant post in this entire thread and it can apply to almost everything in life.

[wayne208]

I Believe that the Husband and Wife Should work together . I want a Lady walking Beside Me and Maybe holding My Hand unless She is Mad then I will Follow her around the Store . I agree with Edwin in a Store You have No Idea which way the Lady is going to Go . I will go Shopping with Her and try to pick out the right Stuff But I am Not Perfect .. If You are Looking For a Perfect Mate Good Luck .