How will you know if a person truly loves you?

[BigBlastGuy]

Tell her you are broke, you lost your job and have no money. Then live like a guy with no money for 6 months, spend no money on her. Seriously live like you are broke. At the end of 6 months if she is still with you, if the relationship is still solid, you probably found a keeper.

This weeds out the gold-diggers. Your relationship (if you still have one) will be tested and strong. You can now be generous with all the money you saved and did not spend during that 6 months--maybe for a nice wedding and honeymoon, maybe down payment for a house.

Unfortunately a relationship between a Filipina and a western man is often based on money. So take away the money and test what is really there.

[crisipicada]

Tell her you are broke, you lost your job and have no money. Then live like a guy with no money for 6 months, spend no money on her. Seriously live like you are broke. At the end of 6 months if she is still with you, if the relationship is still solid, you probably found a keeper.

This weeds out the gold-diggers. Your relationship (if you still have one) will be tested and strong. You can now be generous with all the money you saved and did not spend during that 6 months--maybe for a nice wedding and honeymoon, maybe down payment for a house.

Unfortunately a relationship between a Filipina and a western man is often based on money. So take away the money and test what is really there.

It depends, really. It is not general that all filipina are just wanting western man because of money.

For instance, a filipina who is desperate of a filipino man because she is hurt many times. I guess, she is trying to try other men outside Philippines

If you cannot provide for the family, then you are more than an infedel. How can a poor filipina communicate with you, just in case she is staying outside the municipal proper? Where communication is hard? Do you think it wont work? So better find someone from your place then if that is your thinking.

[Edwin]

Yes, Crisi, I have heard of a number of reasons why filipinas desire western men. Like you say, some filipino men abuse their ladies, and they think they will be treated better by a western man. Some filipinas like the light colored skin of western men, lighter colored hair, and varied colored eyes. Many filipina ladies are attracted to western men for the same reason that western men think filipinas are beautiful. Some of them also like the babies that result from the union between a western man and a filipina. That cross does make some beautiful people I think, although full blood filipinas are beatiful as well. Some filipinas think that they will get more respect from a western man. It is a winning situation for all when the couple can help each other to be happy and successful! I probably have forgotten some reasons, and I am sure there are other reasons as well.

[mystic]

As a curiosity, I will add a note about the Jewish idea of marriage. There is a current that says that a couple is not made by 2, but by 3. They call the third one "Parnosa", which is one of those words without a translation. It means the "environment", i.e. a house, the job, the families, and everything that will allow the couple to grow to its full potential. Money is one of those things. Without it, the couple will live just in a dream, and the relation will soon collapse under the daily difficulties. But with the proper environment, the couple can not just grow, but also have children, develop professionally, and everything one can think of.

We can also call it "security" or "stability". For a woman that will depend a lot from the man, especially if foreigner, it is very important to know that she will be safe. Who is going to marry and be a pauper? Or have children that will end up on a road? For Filipinas, I think that it is an even more sensitive topic, because they are not familiar with western living. So, to be pauper really means something bad.

So, I can only support Filipino thinking. One should be very honest and say what kind of life she will get. I don't think it is important to be particularly rich, but honesty together with good qualities (commitment, good values, etc.) should be appreciated.

And for all men in this forum reading this, who have the same idea of Ed, we should join together and make a big chocolate party in the Philippines
I live near Swiss... so I can surely bring from there some very interesting pieces of chocolate art... and then the Austrian Mozart's balls... and...

[BigBlastGuy]

So, I can only support Filipino thinking. One should be very honest and say what kind of life she will get. I don't think it is important to be particularly rich, but honesty together with good qualities (commitment, good values, etc.) should be appreciated.

Yes you make my point. Honesty from both parties is the foundation of a successful relationship. The problem is many Filipinas are not honest about their intent to have children. Many (Filipinas) will say they are OK with not having children but they are not being honest. This causes major problems in the marriage later when the truth comes out. This is a classical "bait and switch". A western man who honestly explained he did not want to have children and who honestly promised a lifestyle to the Filipina that provided her a comfortable life is faced with: the major commitment for a child he never wanted and now being accused of breaking his word to the Filipina about the quality of life he could provide because the cost in the western world of raising children is enormous so after paying for the child he did not agree to, he does not have the money to support the lifestyle he promised her.

All this puts enormous pressure on the marriage, and will probably destroy the marriage. All the problems began because the marriage was not built on honesty.

[BigBlastGuy]

Tell her you are broke, you lost your job and have no money. Then live like a guy with no money for 6 months, spend no money on her. Seriously live like you are broke. At the end of 6 months if she is still with you, if the relationship is still solid, you probably found a keeper.

This weeds out the gold-diggers. Your relationship (if you still have one) will be tested and strong. You can now be generous with all the money you saved and did not spend during that 6 months--maybe for a nice wedding and honeymoon, maybe down payment for a house.

Unfortunately a relationship between a Filipina and a western man is often based on money. So take away the money and test what is really there.

It depends, really. It is not general that all filipina are just wanting western man because of money.

For instance, a filipina who is desperate of a filipino man because she is hurt many times. I guess, she is trying to try other men outside Philippines

If you cannot provide for the family, then you are more than an infedel. How can a poor filipina communicate with you, just in case she is staying outside the municipal proper? Where communication is hard? Do you think it wont work? So better find someone from your place then if that is your thinking.

Crisi, to say that most Filipinas are not looking for a western man for resources (money) is to ignore basic human nature. At a base god created biological level men are driven to plant seed in fertile soil (young healthy women). Women are forced by base biological drive to look for good genes for their children and also resources (today known as money) so they have ability to raise and nurture the seed (child). So women always look for resources (money) as an important factor when choosing a mate.

If given the choice of moving to a new culture with a poor western man or staying with her family and friends in her own culture with a poor Filipino, a young Filipina will likely chose to remain in her own culture. Given the choice between moving to a new culture with a relatively wealthy western man or staying in her own culture with a poor Filipno, a young Filipina will likely chose the wealthier western man. Given a choice between moving to a new culture with a poor western man or staying in her culture with a wealthy Filipino, the young Filipina will inevitably chose staying in he culture.

So situations change but most times the Filipina will follow the money. Given two men roughly equal in age, looks, ability, etc and one has considerably more money, women (Filipinas) will generally chose the man with most money.

This is just fact of life. So back to original point. The MAIN reason most (not all because there are always exceptions) Filipinas want western men is for the resources (money) the western man can provide.

[mystic]

The problem is many Filipinas are not honest about their intent to have children.

Well, I met the exact opposite situation. I wanted children and I married a Thai woman because she said she also wanted children. After 7 years, I had no other choice than divorce, because she didn't want children.

BigBlastGuy, despite I might understand your point of view, I find it a bit offensive. I think it is very normal for everybody (man and woman) to go where the grass is more green. However, there is not only that.
If you pretend to find a blind Filipina to pick up... surely you are not looking for the money, but to me it seems "love tourism", or "love shopping". Filipinas are not toys that you pick up to fill your needs. They are persons with their cultural baggage and traditions. Nobody makes such a big jump to another country and culture just for money. Well, indeed there are some scammers who do it and ruin people's life. But I still hope it is not the rule.

[BigBlastGuy]

The problem is many Filipinas are not honest about their intent to have children.

Well, I met the exact opposite situation. I wanted children and I married a Thai woman because she said she also wanted children. After 7 years, I had no other choice than divorce, because she didn't want children.

BigBlastGuy, despite I might understand your point of view, I find it a bit offensive. I think it is very normal for everybody (man and woman) to go where the grass is more green. However, there is not only that.
If you pretend to find a blind Filipina to pick up... surely you are not looking for the money, but to me it seems "love tourism", or "love shopping". Filipinas are not toys that you pick up to fill your needs. They are persons with their cultural baggage and traditions. Nobody makes such a big jump to another country and culture just for money. Well, indeed there are some scammers who do it and ruin people's life. But I still hope it is not the rule.

"Nobody makes such a big jump to another country and culture just for money"

Your statement is totally wrong. The opposite of your statement is true. Truth is sometimes painful but the truth sets us free. Jesus taugt his followers to reject societal and religious dogma and seek truth. Should we do less?

The predominate factor in filipina-kano marriage, the reason a filipina will give up her family, friends and culture to move to a foreign country IS most definitely resources (money)!

God created women with a a biological core imperative to reproduce, to bear, raise and nurture children. Women feel good about (love) a man that will provide a home, food, clothes, education, healthcare, protection etc etc so that she may fulfill her god-given biological imperative to reproduce. and raise children. At both a conscious and subconscious level women are attracted to (love) men who are good providers. Providing takes money--money buys a house, food, healthcare the woman needs. Women want men who are providers.

Unlike western countries where government social programs provide basic sustenance for women and children, in the philippines no such programs exist. Filipinas can not rely on their government to provide resources, so filipinas need a man to provide basic resources such that she may fulfill her god-given imperative to have and raise children. Since the philippines is a poor country many filipino men can not or will not provide resources (money) filipinas need to fulfill their god-given imperative, so many filipinas seek foreign men. Resources (money) IS the predominate reason filipinas seek foreign men.

I am NOT saying there is anything wrong with this. Filipinas seeking men with resources is reality--it is how god made them. Filipinas who say it is about "love" are honest because they naturally feel good about (love) a man who is a good provider.

[BigBlastGuy]

Tell her you are broke, you lost your job and have no money. Then live like a guy with no money for 6 months, spend no money on her. Seriously live like you are broke. At the end of 6 months if she is still with you, if the relationship is still solid, you probably found a keeper.

This weeds out the gold-diggers. Your relationship (if you still have one) will be tested and strong. You can now be generous with all the money you saved and did not spend during that 6 months--maybe for a nice wedding and honeymoon, maybe down payment for a house.

Unfortunately a relationship between a Filipina and a western man is often based on money. So take away the money and test what is really there.

It depends, really. It is not general that all filipina are just wanting western man because of money.

For instance, a filipina who is desperate of a filipino man because she is hurt many times. I guess, she is trying to try other men outside Philippines

If you cannot provide for the family, then you are more than an infedel. How can a poor filipina communicate with you, just in case she is staying outside the municipal proper? Where communication is hard? Do you think it wont work? So better find someone from your place then if that is your thinking.

Crisi you are kidding yourself. If a man in the USA is broke, homeless, lives in a ditch beside the road but he is a "good" person you going to marry him? Of course not! But if a man in the USA has a great education, great career, plenty of money, nice home and he is a "good" person you going to marry him? Maybe! So of course money (resources) is important factor to women, but usually not to men. Of course women will say it is about "love". That is true but... women will not "love" the good man living in the ditch but they may "love" the good man with money, career and house.

Like a man who says looks do not matter, but he won't marry a girl who weighs 300 pounds!

[Edwin]

BigBlastGuy, what you said about the man who says looks does not matter being unwilling to marry a 300 pound girl is not necessarily true. There are some men who prefer and enjoy women who are over weight. Some find them facinating and are attracted to them. Many men maybe would not marry a girl who is 300 pounds over weight, but some would. My idea of this is the weight is fine as long as it does not make her unhealthy. If the weight adds to a health risk, then the weight is not good. Personally a girl being over weight does not bother me.

BigBlastGuy if the guy living in the ditch is a good guy, maybe the girl will help him to make something of his life so that they can both prosper. I have seen that written in the profiles of some of the filipinas on this site. They write about how they can work together to build better lives and be successful, and there is some truth to that, because often times with some encouragement, success comes, whereas a person can be so discouraged that he stays in the ditch!

There is another part to this line of thinking, and that is not only the ability, but the willingness of the parties involved. The man might have the resources, but maybe he wastes his money drinking and or gambling while his family suffers. So being a good provider has to do not only with what a person has, but what the person has in his/her heart to be helpful.

I still like the idea of that chocolate party, and I can just imagine all that Swiss chocolate, and I am sure that Red and Crisi as well as M&M, and some others will be right there to help enjoy that chocolate party. I think BigBlastGuy will be there to help eat chocolate as well!