In our family there wasn't a lot of emotions shown. There was not a lot of hugging and kissing. The last time I saw my Dad before he went away for his heart operation I put my arm around his shoulders which were much broader than mine, and I cried. I think it was the first time that I ever remember having my arm around my Dad. He commented to my Mom about how badly I felt, and I did. Something told me that I would never see him again alive, and I didn't. I will see him in heaven one day.
My wife, Carol, is the hugging kissing kind. Hugs for all friends, relatives, acquaintances, and kisses for kids, grandkids, etc. I got into the hugging mode because of her, and it feels really great to give hugs and to receive them.
I have worked with teachers who would hug every elementary student in their grades before those students went home in the afternoon. There is a certain amount of risk to that in that in most cases in this country teachers are not supposed to touch students. But I don't know of any teachers who got in trouble from hugging their students as they were leaving for home. It was a hug for each one, and the hugs were innocent.
Hugging can leave a person feeling uncomfortable also. My niece married this guy who was married before and has grown children. He is probably almost as old as I and a successful pharmacist. I went to their wedding, and then about a year or more ago they visited my brother who is the father of his wife. I thought he is part of the family, so I went to give him a hug. He made it very obvious in his response that he did not appreciate a hug from me. So no more hugs for him, because I felt uncomfortable in his response, and I don't want to make him uncomfortable either.
As we were leaving I hugged my brother-in-law of 40 some years who would be returning to the Philippines before we see him and his filipina wife again. After we hugged, he commented that he did not hug men. I never knew that he felt that way, and I probably never hugged him before, and I won't again because I don't want him to feel uncomfortable either.
I hugged all the women with no objections. But I learned the hard way that some men don't want hugs from other men. I think they may be afraid of the connotation of being labeled a gay, homosexual, or Lesbian, but that is the furthest thing from my mind either that I will be labeled that, or that I will project that to others. A lot of the hugging is in the context of the church, where we hug our brothers and sisters in Christ, and there is nothing wrong with that in my view, in fact it is a healthy expression of love.
