Are You Afraid of Being Single?..

[crisipicada]

It was my prayer and hope that I will get married at age 30, that has been my prayer. Out of 8 children, only 2 got married. The rest are still single and our youngest is turning 27 next month.

I know that we have different season in life. I believe that being single is a gift. It is a gift from God that we should be take extra care.Why? Because there are single who got married earlier and their season of being single has not fully use for God instead, they make their own decision in life. While you are single, you can do more things for the Lord, and also you have so much time to extend help to others. Also, I believe that this season is a preparation to be a good husband or wife for the season of getting married. So, I commit my life being single and I do believe that if we do the best for the Lord, we deserve what is best from Him too.

We deserve all the best, not just the 2nd best, therefore give all to Him. He knows our future.

[Smiley]

I have managed to learn something from every one of lifes experiences. I did not marry well.It has now been 15 years since I have been married and the one lesson that I took away is not to be in a hurry to get married. There are worse things than waking up alone

[Edwin]

You are right Crisi, that being single is a gift. As single people we can devote ourselves more fully to God. But being single is not for everyone. I would never want to be single, and I would hope that it would not be God's will for my life at any time during my life. I don't think I was made to be single, because I have a hard time when I am the only one in the house! Out of a very large family, like probably 12 children in my Dad's family 4 of them never got married. Two of them died in early adulthood. One was brilliant at Mathematics, had his degree in that, and worked at it until he died. He did a lot of the mathematical engineering work on Grand Coulee Dam. Then he helped design and drew blue prints for a lot of the ships they had from Bremerton, Washington that they used in World War II. He was a professional swimmer, but he drowned swimming. Another was a devout Christian guy, and he died early of bone cancer. One lived alone until he was a little over 50 years old, and another lived alone until he was eighty-four years old or so. I had an uncle on my Mom's side of the family that was afraid of being left alone as his wife had cancer and other health problems, but she outlived him by several years. The Bible speaks against those who forbid other people to get married. I think anyone should get married if they want to do that, and if they can find a suitable person to marry. We had a local Catholic Father who wanted to get married, so he left the priesthood, then he taught school, and is teaching still. He became a Methodist and is pastoring two Methodist churches a few miles from each other in neighboring towns. I'm not really afraid, and I don't know if I will outlive Carol, or she will outlive me, but I do not want to live alone, and it is all in God's hands. Sometimes couples die very close to each other. One dies and then within weeks or months the other dies, so you never know. Carol says that we all have a time to die, and when it is our time, we die.

[DavidM]

I don't know if I can view being single as a gift lol. Even Jesus said not everyone could accept that. He should know, he decided to make us that way

Just look at it this way. Some gifts you give people and they didn't really want it, so they "re-gift" it. I'm going to keep this one in the packaging

[Edwin]

I agree with you, DavidM! I have a hard time seeing that one as a gift. But, it is true, that the Apostle Paul said that the unmarried person is more free to serve the Lord. You are right, God made us for marriage and to live together as husband and wife, so it is only natural, and honored by God and all others. If we find ourselves in the single category then we contribute as we can, but I don't think any of us seek that as something we want. We want to have someone to love and hold, and to love and hold us, and then we minister to others also, even though we are not single. The Apsotle Paul said that it is better to marry than to burn with lust, and so I will vote for getting married, and having good company!

[crisipicada]

I don't know if I can view being single as a gift lol. Even Jesus said not everyone could accept that. He should know, he decided to make us that way

Just look at it this way. Some gifts you give people and they didn't really want it, so they "re-gift" it. I'm going to keep this one in the packaging

Many single person wanted to get married very soon. Some married people realized how they wish they are not married.

What I am trying to say that being single is a gift is that, there are things that a married person cannot do as like a single person. Being single, many opportunities to be a blessing to someone - to help someone, a time to develop talents and attitudes, etc. While you are married, you focus on the husband or wife, to the children etc.

Of course I made use my singleness as an opportunity or a gift from God to be fully develop my potential in preparation for my marriage life. I for sure do not want to stay single It has been my prayer to be a loving, faithful, committed, responsible wife to my future husband. I desire to have my own family and have kids that I would be a loving and faithful Christian mother to them. How about you, DavidM, may I know what are your desires in life and your future plans about marriage just in case you are praying for it? Your reply is highly appreciated.

[DavidM]

How about you, DavidM, may I know what are your desires in life and your future plans about marriage just in case you are praying for it? Your reply is highly appreciated.

I will be praying for you, Crisi. One of my good friends here, let's call him Jordan, used to be single and he was much like you in age and situation. He's actually one of my accountability partners. It was always so fun to have him give me advice about marriage. Even though he never had first-hand experience he was always so earnest and in full knowledge of what the bible says and could always offer that perspective. Then he got married... Let's just say I've had to be the one offering more advice lately He is coming along fine, but just like someone working out he quickly learned he had muscles in places he never knew. Sometimes I miss the old optimistic and earnest Jordan, but I am happy for how he has grown.

As for myself, it is my hope to use everything that I have learned from the past for the benefit of my future family. Most of all, I pray that I am always teachable and able to quickly grow in new areas as life changes. It can sometimes be easy to be blind to rough edges in myself that is negatively affecting the other person. I pray that I am able to quickly spot when this happens and adjust accordingly. It is also my prayer to always combat familiarity. I pray for discernment in all areas. There is so much to pray about.

[susan]

How about you, DavidM, may I know what are your desires in life and your future plans about marriage just in case you are praying for it? Your reply is highly appreciated.

I will be praying for you, Crisi. One of my good friends here, let's call him Jordan, used to be single and he was much like you in age and situation. He's actually one of my accountability partners. It was always so fun to have him give me advice about marriage. Even though he never had first-hand experience he was always so earnest and in full knowledge of what the bible says and could always offer that perspective. Then he got married... Let's just say I've had to be the one offering more advice lately He is coming along fine, but just like someone working out he quickly learned he had muscles in places he never knew. Sometimes I miss the old optimistic and earnest Jordan, but I am happy for how he has grown.

As for myself, it is my hope to use everything that I have learned from the past for the benefit of my future family. Most of all, I pray that I am always teachable and able to quickly grow in new areas as life changes. It can sometimes be easy to be blind to rough edges in myself that is negatively affecting the other person. I pray that I am able to quickly spot when this happens and adjust accordingly. It is also my prayer to always combat familiarity. I pray for discernment in all areas. There is so much to pray about.

Learning is every day to day. It is good to learn from experience, though. Do you have bad experience in life that you need to change?

[Edwin]

Susan, we are glad to see you back here again! Yes, Susan, learning is a continual experience. We never get to old to learn, or know so much that we don't need to learn. Life is a learning experience for all of us. Some of us learn by example. We learn from God's word. Others of us learn the hard way when we try to do things our way, and discover God's way is the best way! Even bad experiences teach us things, and we need to learn so that we don't repeat our mistakes. Jesus helps us to change from our bad experiences to have good experiences.

[crisipicada]

While single, I am thinking about my neighbors at home in the bario that their respective husband is not treating them well. It saddened me a lot that during the courtship time, the guy really do his best to get the heart of the woman. And then, it is a sad fact that many of the man is not really man. Sometimes, I heard stories at home that this guy leave his wife for the reason that he cannot afford to provide his wife's need and the baby. Later on, the woman will look for another guy.

This is one of the many reasons why marriage is not successful. Many people marry because they "are in love" but no commitment at all. Many poeple are driven by emotion that they are meant for each other but in reality, they are not looking forward to have a family or considering to have baby.

That is why, I am not really afraid of being single. FOr me I am worth waiting for.