How Can I Decide?

[wayne208]

Crisi : I agree with Edwin .. Just because You may Not Agree on everything .. You should still listen to each other . And Treat each Other with Respect .. I also Say Listen to Your Heart and watch How He treats other Ladies . Is He a Gentleman towards them ?? We are All going to make mistakes in life .. I have made lots of Mistakes .. I just Thank God For all He has given Me .. Yes I will make mistakes in the Future but that Will not stop Me from finding Me a Lady I can Love and Who I Hope will love Me back

[Edwin]

It is very true that it helps to consider how the other person treats other people. If you are considering a young lady, how does she treat her father and her brothers? That is most likely the way she will treat you as well. How does the young man treat his mother and his sisters? That is most likely the way he will treat you after you are married. Yes, while the honeymoon is on everything is wonderful, and mostly the treatment is good, but not in every case. But has he or she treats others is probably the way he/she will treat you after the honeymoon is finished.

[purex]

There are marriages that they do not get involved their family members to decide if they wanted to get married. Like Mariel Rodrigues, on of the tv host in TV 5, she got married to Rubin Padilla. They had had a secret wedding, and then later on, they just informed their parents and friends that they are married already. The sad fact is that, there respective family and friends, got sad why they did not tell them that they got married.

To decide sometimes,depends upon the couple.

[Edwin]

Yes, purex, that is sad when it happens that way. The family and relatives often are hurt that they were not allowed to be part of the celebration. It was fairly common when I was young for young couples to run off to Idaho to elople and get married. One father sent the sheriff after his daughter and her guy trying to get married, but they did get married later. Different people make different decisions, but it is important to do things right so that there would be no regrets later.

[wayne208]

I would Not Marry a Lady until I had Met her Parents and Family . Then I would want Her to Met My Family also . Their would Be a Wedding so That Her Family and Mine could Celebrate the Happy Moment ..I would not Marry a Lady without Her Family's Approval .. I am Old Fashioned in that way ..Edwin is So Right it is Sad when Both Family's are not their ..It causes Bad Feelings and Sadness when Their Should be Nothing But Happiness ..

[Edwin]

Someone will correct me if I am wrong, but the Philippine law dictates that any young lady under 18 years of age is not allowed to marry. A young lady under 23 years of age has to have her parents' permission to marry, and I think it is customary for any young lady to be requested by the potential groom just out of politeness and consideration for the future bride's family. This has to do with respect for the family and parents. It is especially important to the filipina's family that a celebration takes place allowing all the family and relatives to rejoice at such a happy occation!

[crisipicada]

We must have the standard of what kind of person we want to marry. Of course all of us, or in general, we wish to have a good person to be with. Being emotionally and spiritually mature is the most important to consider. As Christian, It is not the will of the Father to get married to someone who do not believe in Him, for "Be not unequally yoke with the unbeliever.

[Edwin]

You are completely correct, Crisi, that it is important for your guy to have your standards. At least he should believe in the Bible as God's inspired word. He should also believe in salvation through Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. He should be a person who has love in his heart for his fellow man and woman. He should be respectful and kind. As you said, Crisi, he should be your equal in faith, belief, and practice of Christian living, because it is not good to be unequally yoked together. You need to be able to pull the same direction. You need to be able to encourage each other in life, and in your Christian walk. What am I missing?

[mystic]

There are marriages that they do not get involved their family members to decide if they wanted to get married. Like Mariel Rodrigues, on of the tv host in TV 5, she got married to Rubin Padilla. They had had a secret wedding, and then later on, they just informed their parents and friends that they are married already. The sad fact is that, there respective family and friends, got sad why they did not tell them that they got married. To decide sometimes,depends upon the couple.

And I always thought that secret marriages are very romantic

But now I understand more the importance of having people around, getting involved.

It's very good to have standards also, something that I always lacked in the past. Maybe that is why I did poor choices. That is really a very good point.

But I will add one thought. Who is better, a person that have very good standards but cannot keep them properly, or a person who has low standards but keeps them flawlessly? Most of the time we might fall for somebody who seems to match our standard and seems to keep this standard, and later we find out that "good intentions not always match reality". One can speak well and act poorly. Other people might seem to be very narrow minded, limited in many ways, with low standards, but keeping them diligently.

Our soul tends to an ideal, which does not always mean what we are in real. Our spirit shows our actions, how we are in reality. We should always consider a person in his/her soul, spirit, body/environment to get the idea of who this person really is. We are not static, so we must ask ourselves: how is this person? where is this person heading to? how will this person respond to certain situations?

Usually it is life that gives those answers. So, it might be a good idea to live in friendship and get to know each other little by little before making a commitment. Sometimes, when we know where the other person is heading to and it matches our ideal, we can even accept the defects of the other, and work together to make the common ideal true.

[Edwin]

I know what you are saying mystic, because my son-in-law had a sister who had such high standards that everyone thought she was going to go through life unmarried. Well, that changed and now she is married and has two young children. She is a practicing lawyer, and comes from a family of high ideals. She was one who told everyone how to live, and what to do, and she was really picky about everything, but she married a common blue color worker, who I think is still laid off from work. In this case I am talking about living standards and society status, but not necessarily religious or Christian living standards. I think she thinks she is a Christian, and God knows her heart, but she doesn't have Christian standards like we do, so she does things that we consider wrong and even sinful. Those things have to do with her attending shows at the show house which we consider sinful, and also I think she drinks a little alcohol periodically, and attends dances sometimes, all of which we consider to be sinful and against good Christian principals.

So if your standards are so high that you can't find anyone who measures up to your standards, then yes, lowering those standards might be necessary, however Christian living standards, or moral standards I don't think should ever be lowered or compromised, even if it keeps you from finding your mate, because you have to live according to your conscience, and after marriage to someone who does not live according to the Bible, you might suffer from mental and emotional problems because of realizing that you are living out of or against the will of God. So it really depends of what kinds of standards we are talking about whether it is or is not acceptable to lower those standards.