Things you have done after breaking up with someone you love

[lyrehc]

after 5 yrs in a serious relationship my boyfrnd break up with me because of a girl...it hurts a lot that i cry and never speak to anyone even my mother,frustrated and very lonely i become..but after I meditate,pray and ask for guidance of God I realize life must go on,so what I do...I eat and never stop eating having a clear mind makes you a strong person

[Edwin]

Wow, lyrehc, 5 years is a long time to be developing a relationship with a friend to have it severed because of your boyfriend finding another girl. I can't even imagine how difficult that would be. That would be very frustrated and leave lonely feelings. Meditation, praying, and asking God for guidance is the best way to deal with that. You said that you realized that life must go on, and that is very true. I have thought about this in connection with death also. When someone close to you dies, you feel almost as if you are dying. It can bring such terrible feeling, but God is our comfort, and we seek his comfort and guidance. Then what I think is that when my parents were my age, their parents were dying, and they went on living. So, I think that they all would want us to stop grieving and go on living. When we lose a boyfriend or girlfriend after a short grieving process we realize that we have to go on living, so we move on, and look to the Lord to guide our steps. Having a clear mind is sometimes difficult when in difficult situations. But soon we get away from our bad situation in time, so that we are able to think clearly. Time does heal. Getting plenty of rest, exercise, and good nutrition helps us in our daily living, and sometimes just a good night's rest helps us to feel so much better about what is happening. Sometimes it feels like there is a dark cloud over our heads, but that cloud passes on in time, and then there is sunshine. Some people sometimes get so depressed that they stop eating, and that is very unhealthy though it is understandable. You are correct in that we must continue eating and not stop. Our daughter talking about eating comfort foods, and she was actually eating too much comfort foods and gaining weight, so she had to realize that effect and stop eating so much. But we do need to keep eating what we need to be healthy, and eating is comforting. Eating is also social. It feels good to eat with other people!

[jane50]

i went back to school and took a masters degree, kept myself busy in order to forget the pain and succeeded eventually.. why should weep and keep that marriage i thought was made in heaven?

[Edwin]

Sometimes people do things often of a negative nature in reaction to a breakup. Some people destroy things. Other people do what is called the rebound, in which they find someone else as quickly as possible, often too quickly, and then they find themselves in further troubles. There are healthy ways to cope as well. Seeking God for guidance is number one. Then it does help to keep busy, but not to over work. Working too hard and not getting enough rest brings on feelings of fatigue, and that gives way to all kinds of bad feelings. Getting enough rest really helps anyone's attitude and feelings. Being with family and friends who are supportive I think helps. Eating well, getting exercise, getting rest, keeping positive are all actions that help in coping with a breakup. Then it is good to decide not to rush into any new relationship too quickly.

[lyrehc]

Wow, lyrehc, 5 years is a long time to be developing a relationship with a friend to have it severed because of your boyfriend finding another girl. I can't even imagine how difficult that would be. That would be very frustrated and leave lonely feelings. Meditation, praying, and asking God for guidance is the best way to deal with that. You said that you realized that life must go on, and that is very true. I have thought about this in connection with death also. When someone close to you dies, you feel almost as if you are dying. It can bring such terrible feeling, but God is our comfort, and we seek his comfort and guidance. Then what I think is that when my parents were my age, their parents were dying, and they went on living. So, I think that they all would want us to stop grieving and go on living. When we lose a boyfriend or girlfriend after a short grieving process we realize that we have to go on living, so we move on, and look to the Lord to guide our steps. Having a clear mind is sometimes difficult when in difficult situations. But soon we get away from our bad situation in time, so that we are able to think clearly. Time does heal. Getting plenty of rest, exercise, and good nutrition helps us in our daily living, and sometimes just a good night's rest helps us to feel so much better about what is happening. Sometimes it feels like there is a dark cloud over our heads, but that cloud passes on in time, and then there is sunshine. Some people sometimes get so depressed that they stop eating, and that is very unhealthy though it is understandable. You are correct in that we must continue eating and not stop. Our daughter talking about eating comfort foods, and she was actually eating too much comfort foods and gaining weight, so she had to realize that effect and stop eating so much. But we do need to keep eating what we need to be healthy, and eating is comforting. Eating is also social. It feels good to eat with other people!

to Edwin;
I am serious when it comes to relationship but fate change everything, I feel like dying during those days. I never talk to anyone,i feel like nobody worth talking. But as I see myself grieving i feel pathetic...honestly even now its hard to let go on someone you really share your life with.Forgetting is hard but life still goes on so what ever we do we just humble our self to God then Goodness will come at God perfect time......For the mean time I hope to find a very interesting person here...I just pray his gonna be serious

[red]

I read about Demi Moore's break up with Ashton Kutcher, she is sick due to divorce. How many of you got sick after breaking up or divorce?

[edeline]

I agree with what you said Edwin that people take break up differently. Some are into doing positive things and some are into doing negative things. The best healing from a break up is to pray that the pain will be gone slowly and we will learn to forget the pain.

When you said a rebound I am reminded in our National Language which is panakip butas..or a cover of the hole. It will not do good because the heart and the mind is still sore and it needs time of healing. Time passes by and slowly the pain will be gone but not in an instant. Soem take a revenge but it has also another effect which is overprotevtive of oneself and mistrust to another person that comes into ones life.

[Edwin]

Yes, Edeline, recover slowly and get over the pain. Time heals, and good nutrition, exercise, and rest helps a lot, and then pray and trust the Lord. Yes, recovery doesn't come instantly, and it does not help the person breaking up, or the new partner to rush into something quickly. I think there used to be a television show about partners getting revenge on each other because of painful breakups. Some of them do terrible things to each other, like posting embarrassing pictures, or movies of the other person. The sad part is with revenge no one wins, and God says, "Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord, I will repay," and we are far better off letting God take the vengence, then we carry no guilt, and it does not come back on us, which often happens if we try to take revenge.

When people become over protective and then they have mistrust for the next person coming into the relationship, it is kind of an emotional sickness that they need healing for. It is easy to understand how when a person has been deceived they would not be able to trust after that. It is good to be aware of the possibility, and not trust too much, but the person has to learn to trust, unless given reason not to trust. This would be difficult especially if several bad relationships occur when trust is broken. There are people who can be trusted, and then there are people who can not be trusted, and it is nice if we can learn the difference. I guess it is good to be careful, take time and know the person before having confidence in them. I have heard of people having the person they are interested in followed around by detectives. That turns out both ways. Sometimes it is learned that there is reason to be suspecious, and then there are times that the person checks out to be a perfectly good person, honest in all ways.

[edeline]

Yes, Edeline, recover slowly and get over the pain. Time heals, and good nutrition, exercise, and rest helps a lot, and then pray and trust the Lord. Yes, recovery doesn't come instantly, and it does not help the person breaking up, or the new partner to rush into something quickly. I think there used to be a television show about partners getting revenge on each other because of painful breakups. Some of them do terrible things to each other, like posting embarrassing pictures, or movies of the other person. The sad part is with revenge no one wins, and God says, "Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord, I will repay," and we are far better off letting God take the vengence, then we carry no guilt, and it does not come back on us, which often happens if we try to take revenge.

When people become over protective and then they have mistrust for the next person coming into the relationship, it is kind of an emotional sickness that they need healing for. It is easy to understand how when a person has been deceived they would not be able to trust after that. It is good to be aware of the possibility, and not trust too much, but the person has to learn to trust, unless given reason not to trust. This would be difficult especially if several bad relationships occur when trust is broken. There are people who can be trusted, and then there are people who can not be trusted, and it is nice if we can learn the difference. I guess it is good to be careful, take time and know the person before having confidence in them. I have heard of people having the person they are interested in followed around by detectives. That turns out both ways. Sometimes it is learned that there is reason to be suspecious, and then there are times that the person checks out to be a perfectly good person, honest in all ways.

I am reminded of the saying HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY. Some have traumas after they undergone relationships and hard for them to trust once again. Who is pitiful is the person next to that relationship if he/she can be trusted that the other will not trust because of the past. It is good to be careful but I guess it is not healthy to ruin the present which is mistrusting too much because of the past that had happened. I also found out this that if a relationship doesn't have trust, it will never work because of the negative overviews and ideas on mind.

There is also another way of VENGEANCE, examples a guy was played before and he used to be very faithful and loving. When his love was taken for granted and was just played, he could probably be in a relationship for fun and I know one person like that. He was played before and he regretted being faithful with his wife. Later on he was in different relationships, I guess 4 relationships at the same time with different girls. He took a revenge and he said a girl can never be trusted so this is what a woman deserves, be played.


Once a trust is ruined, it is so hard to put back into normal. For me it is like a glass that once it is broken it will never gets its original shape.

[Edwin]

Yes, honesty is always the best policy. People who live in dishonesty complicate their lives. They have to do so much covering up for lies they have told, and deceit they have practiced that it is much easier just to tell the truth and be honest about everything.

Yes, mistrust makes the relationship impossible. If someone is sincere, honest, and trustworthy then that person does not want to be suspected and accused. Even the negative thoughts will have a bad effect.

I have heard about that before also, where one person found out that the other person was being unfaithful so that person took advantage, and started seeing other people too. That doesn't make it right, but it does happen.