JOKER'S CORNER

[cheryz]

True story

A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.

On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question?" - Discuss.

After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer."

The student received an "A" on the exam.

[angel]

The Answer

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"

[angel]

Barnum & Bailey
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Barnum & Bailey was transferring the circus from one town to another. The elephants were connected trunk to tail. They came along a railroad crossing and as the elephants were halfway across the tracks, a train came along and killed two of them.

Shortly thereafter, B&M Railroad received an invoice from Barnum and Bailey for $10,000. B&M immediately called Barnum & Bailey and requested an explanation for the charge, writing, "What is the cost of a new elephant?"

Barnum & Bailey responded, "$1,000 each."

B&M responded, "But, we only killed two of them!"

Barnum & Bailey said, "Yes, but you pulled the tails out of eight others."

[angel]

Blonde Bedtime

Q: What does a blonde do if she's not in bed by 10 p.m.?
A: She goes home.
________________
Blonde in a Bathroom

Q: Why did the blonde have trouble in the ladies' room?
A: She is not used to pulling her own pants down.
________________
Baldness

Are you really that bald or is your neck just blowing a bubble?

[angel]

Annoying Boy on Bus

A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull."

The driver gets annoyed as the kids continues to yammer on. "If my dad was an rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick."

The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?"

The kid smiles and says, "I'd be a bus driver."

[jadegil6]

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values.
Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'


'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the Divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week.''
That's very fair, your honor, the husband said. And every now and then I'll try to send her a few pesos myself.'


A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
'Me neither doc,' said the husband.
'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'


An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'
The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'



Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
'How was he killed?' asked one detective.
'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.
'A golf gun!
What the heck is a golf gun?'
'I don't know.
But it sure made a hole in Juan.'


Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'
Joe: 'Really?'
Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.'


While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits.
It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
'What do you think?' I asked.
'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'
'Better get a bikini,' he replied.
'You'd never get it all in one.'
He's still in intensive care.


The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.

[cheryz]

Devil in the Church
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One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.

Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?"

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

Perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."

[angel]

English Patient

An English guy was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and died.

The son was so overcome with grief that he didn't remember slipping the note into his pocket. At the funeral, he reached into the pocket of his coat and immediately felt the note. He excitedly read it thinking it might be something he could recite during the service. It said:

YOU WANKER -- GET OFF MY OXYGEN PIPE!!!

[angel]

The Patient

A man is in a hospital bed completly wrapped up in a body cast. One of the nurses gave him a rectal thermometer and said, "Don't move -- I'll be right back."

When she returned the thermometer was in his mouth. She asked in amazement, "How did you get that in your mouth, you can't even move?" Then the man said, "I hiccupped."

[angel]

Two factory workers are talking.The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see."She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."