Things you have done after breaking up with someone you love

[red]

I just read on yahoo news about mending a broken heart. I agree that music has a therapeutic relief. I remember when i broke up with my bf decade ago I was indulge to rock n roll ha ha! I watched concerts of local rockstars band lol. When heart was healed I became in love again and in love with soul/ballad, jazz love songs.

[red]

I also agree of making friends with your ex. Instead of hating your "ex-man" show kindness to him eventually you will forget the pain and develop the acceptance of losing.

[Edwin]

I have seen both the former partners who hate each other, and I have seen the ones who settled things peacefully. When children are involved parents often play the kids against each other by trying to win the kids by doing nicer things than the other partner does. I have also seen some pretty violent fighting. When my wife's brother and his wife separated and divorced it was somewhat mutual without hard feelings between them, but the kids had a problem with it even though they were adults. My older brother, his wife, and his first wife have more or less settled the differences, although the kids are not still complete for the present wife, even after so many years. My younger sister had 3 husbands including the first, and now she is single as none of them worked out for her. She and her first husband are on very good terms, and almost got back together after so many years. They were bitter enemies for a number of years. My ex-niece messaged me on facebook, and asked me who was winning the football game. I told her I didn't have a clue as we don't have television reception. She said, Oh, I thought I was talking with my ex-husband!" We both have the same first name, and see jumped on chat talking with me like I was her first husband. Well, we had a nice conversation, and then I don't know whether she got in contact with him or not, as I never heard.

[edeline]

The things that I did after breaking up was drinking alcohol drinks and went outside trying to enjoy and forget the heartbreak but the pain was still there. Pain can't be removed at an instant. It takes so much time to forget things and to ignore the pain that I am feeling. I am not as strong as any other woman who can just forget things. When I was broken hearted, I drunk and danced together with my friends but after that incident it resulted to hang-over and I said oh wow I am the one who suffers this hang-over after what I did to myself. I then realized that drinking because of pain and so much disappointment is not a solution tothe pain. It might take away the pain once so much drunk because of unconsciousness but the day after that the pain will be back and in fact it will have an additional impact which is the hang-over. I learned so much with that experience and I said I will not do it anymore.

[red]

The things that I did after breaking up was drinking alcohol drinks and went outside trying to enjoy and forget the heartbreak but the pain was still there. Pain can't be removed at an instant. It takes so much time to forget things and to ignore the pain that I am feeling. I am not as strong as any other woman who can just forget things. When I was broken hearted, I drunk and danced together with my friends but after that incident it resulted to hang-over and I said oh wow I am the one who suffers this hang-over after what I did to myself. I then realized that drinking because of pain and so much disappointment is not a solution tothe pain. It might take away the pain once so much drunk because of unconsciousness but the day after that the pain will be back and in fact it will have an additional impact which is the hang-over. I learned so much with that experience and I said I will not do it anymore.

The things that I did after breaking up was drinking alcohol drinks and went outside trying to enjoy and forget the heartbreak but the pain was still there. Pain can't be removed at an instant. It takes so much time to forget things and to ignore the pain that I am feeling. I am not as strong as any other woman who can just forget things. When I was broken hearted, I drunk and danced together with my friends but after that incident it resulted to hang-over and I said oh wow I am the one who suffers this hang-over after what I did to myself. I then realized that drinking because of pain and so much disappointment is not a solution tothe pain. It might take away the pain once so much drunk because of unconsciousness but the day after that the pain will be back and in fact it will have an additional impact which is the hang-over. I learned so much with that experience and I said I will not do it anymore.

I did that once too but heck, it won't help but forget the pain in short while. When friends are gone and you are alone suffering the hang over thing, that only adds up the pain. I was doing lots of meditation and like I said music soothes the soul. Do something good for the self. It actually helped me a lot to move on.

[Edwin]

Yes, lots of people get involved in drinking to try to cover the pain and disappointments, but it is not a long range solution, but rather brings its own problems. I have seen a lot of people trying to forget their troubles with alcohol, but it doesn't really help a lot. The better solutions are like Red, said, soothing music. Also to be with supportive friends helps as well, I think. Get involved in uplifting activities, but don't get too tired, and definately get your rest as well as eating correctly, and exercising. Walking also has a healing uplifting effect as long as you can walk where it is safe, and don't over do the walking, to over stress your body. Anything that is healthy helps.

[Smiley]

If its a very emotional breakup don`t bother being logical for the first little while. Come to terms with the freedom (and the lonlyness).I don`t like to drink if I`m in a bad mood,If I can be cheerfull, Bring it on! When I was young pounding the crap out of some jerk in a bar somehow seemed to happen fairly often but I don`t get any satisfaction out of violence anymore. Besides ,if people can`t relax around you nobody has fun.
My best thinking,soul searching,perspective hunting,etc has always occured on a motorcycle on a country road. Second best is alone,with a pot of tea and a book or a stack of old magazines.Alone is important. Well meaning friends will try to push you into another relationship,usually way too soon.
One thing that being married taught me is that there can be worse ways to wake up than alone.
Take stock of how much time you spend thinking about the breakup, if it is more than an occasional quick thought it is time to change your perspective.A good way to do that is to take a night school course or to do some volunteer work. Preferrably something with a learning curve to it.That way you are challenging yourself and doing good for your community at the same time. A win-win situation.
Always keep in mind,no matter how much it hurts you have two choices : You can either get over it or you won`t. If you dont move on you will have to realize that nobody wants to hear you whine about it so don`t. This life is real,it is not a rehearsal.Don`t waste it being all butt-hurt that somebody that you want to be with has other plans.

[red]

If its a very emotional breakup don`t bother being logical for the first little while. Come to terms with the freedom (and the lonlyness).I don`t like to drink if I`m in a bad mood,If I can be cheerfull, Bring it on! When I was young pounding the crap out of some jerk in a bar somehow seemed to happen fairly often but I don`t get any satisfaction out of violence anymore. Besides ,if people can`t relax around you nobody has fun.
My best thinking,soul searching,perspective hunting,etc has always occured on a motorcycle on a country road. Second best is alone,with a pot of tea and a book or a stack of old magazines.Alone is important. Well meaning friends will try to push you into another relationship,usually way too soon.
One thing that being married taught me is that there can be worse ways to wake up than alone.
Take stock of how much time you spend thinking about the breakup, if it is more than an occasional quick thought it is time to change your perspective.A good way to do that is to take a night school course or to do some volunteer work. Preferrably something with a learning curve to it.That way you are challenging yourself and doing good for your community at the same time. A win-win situation.
Always keep in mind,no matter how much it hurts you have two choices : You can either get over it or you won`t. If you dont move on you will have to realize that nobody wants to hear you whine about it so don`t. This life is real,it is not a rehearsal.Don`t waste it being all butt-hurt that somebody that you want to be with has other plans.

Amen!

[Edwin]

Yes, what works for one, might not work for another. There are a lot of good ideas expressed here, riding the motorcycle, drinking tea and reading, or looking at magazines, taking a good class, and being alone rather than in company, and that one I think might be different for different people. I have heard about people breaking up and then picking up someone right away, they call that on the rebound, and often that is not successful!

[red]

Yes, what works for one, might not work for another. There are a lot of good ideas expressed here, riding the motorcycle, drinking tea and reading, or looking at magazines, taking a good class, and being alone rather than in company, and that one I think might be different for different people. I have heard about people breaking up and then picking up someone right away, they call that on the rebound, and often that is not successful!

I agree, it only ends up hurting another person. Maybe go out dating but no sex, okay?