JOKER'S CORNER

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Re: JOKER'S CORNER

Postby crisipicada » Tue Jun 30, 2015 11:49 pm

lyrehc wrote:When we were a child our mother always tell us to go to our room.....now we are adult our mother tell us "hey get out of your room"..... :D :D :D ..


Hahahaha taht is true. I believe it depends on our age when our mother told us like that.
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Re: JOKER'S CORNER

Postby angel » Wed Jul 01, 2015 2:43 am

A guy walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender, "I want to make a bet with you," the guy says. The bartender says "ok watcha got?" " I bet you $500 that I can bite my right eye." Bartender looks at the man all crazy but agrees to the bet. The guy then takes out his dentures and bites his right eye with it. The bartender is pissed but pays the guy anyways. The guy takes a few shots and then walks back over to the bartender. "I want to make another bet," he says. "I bet you another $500 that I can lick my left eye." The bartender can't even think of a way he can get screwed this time so he agrees to the bet. The guy then takes out his left glass eye and licks it. The bartender is furious but once again he pays the man. The guy takes a few more shots and then stumbles back up to the bartender. "I wanna make one last bet. I don't even think I can do this but I bet you $1500 that I can put a shot glass at one end of your bar and then stand on the other end and piss and make every last drop into that shot glass." the bartender looks at the man suspiciously but decides to take the bet thinking that it's impossible. So the guy puts the shot glass on one end and gets up on the other end of the bar. He unzips and pisses all over the bar. The piss didn't even make it anywhere near the shot glass. So the guy stumbles down and pays the bartender his money. The bartender is so happy that he just made his money back plus some that he starts smiling and grabs a towel and starts cleaning the piss off the bar. The drunk guy then just bursts out in a fit of laughter. The bartender looks at him confused. "why are you laughing you just lost all your money." The guy looks at the bartender and says, " see that guy in the corner over there? I bet that guy $6000 that I can stand on your bar and piss all over it and have you clean it up with a smile."
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Re: JOKER'S CORNER

Postby cheryz » Mon Jul 06, 2015 11:22 am

Her Dying Husband Had A Selfish Wish Of Keeping The Money Until Death. What The Wife Did Is HILARIOUS!

A lot of people are determined to work their lives out in the best way that they could to be able to have enough for everyday needs such as gas and electricity bills.

But some people have taken it to a different degree which is more likely to be unnecessary. Sometimes it is more important to stand on good moral and upright things rather than be selfish.

A short story of a husband and wife made a huge mark on the people who have read it. The widow shared the story to a lot of people.

When they were still together, her husband worked double time to earn enough and he felt like he has the right to keep it to himself.

As he was near death, the husband wished that his wife would put all the money in the casket along with his dead body.
The wife was a Christian who lives by a good moral and she really wanted to grant the wish of her dying husband.

The casket of her husband was already being put down to the grave when she yelled, "Wait a minute." Then she put on a shoebox inside the casket and locked it.

friend of her told her, ‘I hope you weren’t crazy enough to put all that money in there with that stingy old man.’

The widow replied, "Yes, I promised. I’m a good Christian, I can’t lie. I promised him that I was to put that money in that casket with him."

Her friend asked her, ‘You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?’

The wife replied, ‘I sure did, I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check.’ ”

It was really a brilliant idea. She did not break any rules. She gave her husband all the money. All he needs to do is to encash it which is really impossible. :lol:
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
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Re: JOKER'S CORNER

Postby angel » Thu Jul 09, 2015 2:19 am

A very selfish husband :lol:
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Re: JOKER'S CORNER

Postby cheryz » Wed Jul 15, 2015 1:40 am

angel wrote:A very selfish husband :lol:


yes hahaha.. i got that from facebook. so i decided to share this here in forum. the first time i read it so hilarious.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
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Re: JOKER'S CORNER

Postby lyrehc » Thu Jul 16, 2015 1:50 pm

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"
No one answered so the teacher picked on a random student
Little Mary stood up and said, "You should not be asking sixth graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!"
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" Little Mary's mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her,
"Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!"
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class,
"Anybody?"
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."
Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued.
"As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn't read your homework And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed."
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Re: JOKER'S CORNER

Postby lyrehc » Thu Jul 16, 2015 1:54 pm

A guy walks into his doctor's office and says he needs 3 Viagra right away. The doctor asks why he needs 3 and the guy says "well my ex wife is coming over this morning, my wife will be home this afternoon, and I'm seeing my girlfriend tonight." The doctor agrees to give him 3, but says "I want to see you first thing tomorrow morning to do a checkup, no matter what."
So the next morning the guy walks into the doctor's office with an ace bandage on his wrist and a sling on his arm. The doctor asks the man, "What happened?!". The man replies "none of them showed."
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Re: JOKER'S CORNER

Postby lyrehc » Thu Jul 16, 2015 1:57 pm

... to have some teeth pulled out. As the dentist is preparing a shot of Novocaine, the man freaks out. "Doc, I'm deathly afraid of needles. Do you have anything else?"
The dentist obliges him and prepares some laughing gas. As the dentist is about to put the mask over the man's face, the man freaks out again. "Doc, I am extremely claustrophobic and can't stand having anything over my face. Don't you have anything else?"
The dentist, frustrated at this point, goes into his office and comes back with a little blue pill. He tells the man, "Here take this." The man, confused at this point, asks "Why do I need Viagra?"
The dentist replies, "This is going to hurt, so I'm giving you something to grab onto" :D :lol: :D
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Re: JOKER'S CORNER

Postby Smiley » Wed Aug 05, 2015 6:34 pm

A police officer called the station on his radio.
"I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped."
"Have you arrested the woman?"
"Not yet. The floor's still wet. ;)
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Re: JOKER'S CORNER

Postby cheryz » Fri Aug 07, 2015 3:42 am

lol hahaha.. nice one sir. :lol:
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
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