JOKER'S CORNER

[angel]

Thank you for all the jokes, just a little while reading these makes me laugh at the same time makes me happy a little

[cheryz]

Teacher asked the students to tell the importance of the year 1809.
John stand up and said “Abraham Lincoln was born”
Then teacher again asked the students to tell the importance of another year 1819
Then Sam suddenly stand up and said “Abraham Lincoln was ten years old”!

[angel]

Diet Coke Two blondes decided to split a can of Diet Coke. One blonde opened the can, and poured half the contents into her own glass, and half into her friend's glass. Before tossing the can, she stopped to read the nutritional information on the side. "'Only one calorie per can'," she read aloud. "Hmm," murmured the other blonde. "I wonder which glass has the calorie?"

[jadegil6]

Peter and his family were driving in their car on holidays. A frog crosses the road and Peter, who is driving, is able to stop the car. He gets out takes the frog and carries him to the side of the road.
The frog is grateful, thanks him and tells him that he will grant him a wish.
Peter says, "Please make my dog win the next dog race."
The frog asks to look at the dog, which limps out of the car. The frog notices that the dog only has three legs, it very fat, and can barely move at all so he tells Peter that he thinks it is almost impossible to fullfill his wish and asks that Peter will tell him another wish.
Peter says, "Well, then please make my wife win the next beauty contest in the area. The frog asks him to tell his wife to get out of the car.
Wife comes out of the car and approaches the frog.
The frog turns to Peter and says, "Could I please have another look at the dog?"

[angel]

Two old friends crossed paths after not seeing one another for almost a decade.
Utkarsh: "What are you doing these days?"
Sparsh: "PHD."
Utkarsh: "Wow! You're a doctor!"
Sparsh: "No, Pizza Home Delivery."

[jadegil6]

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.

After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His brother said, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there Hind Lick Maneuver but I ain't niver seen nobody do it!"

[crisipicada]

I am not good at jokes. But I used to laugh when there is great jokes. I am not good at story telling, either. How I wish I can be a good speaker with great jokes to make listener energetic and be able to be alive during conversation.

one time my chief, made jokes and it was green jokes. It was for the married couple and their ex's. I laugh at it but it was really a reality. Sorry, I do not how to relay it here.

[lyrehc]

Crisis I think there are people who are gifted in making jokes or telling stories, we are same, I want to be tell jokes but Im not even funny. There are people who are gifted that even there faces or facial expressions make us laugh ...

[jadegil6]

A circus owner ran an advertisement for ‘Lion Tamer Wanted’ and feeling adventurous, I showed up to apply for the job.

Other than me, only one other applicant showed up, and it was a drop-dead, gorgeous, brunette Filipina with a killer body.

The circus owner tells us, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. We have one ferocious lion. He ate my last lion tamer so you two had better be really, really good at this, or you are going to be killed or seriously injured."
Here's the equipment -- a chair, a whip and a gun ...... Who wants to try out first?"

The gorgeous Filipina says, "I'll go first."

She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. As he gets close, the gorgeous Filipina throws open her dress revealing her beautiful, naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her, and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick every inch of her body for several minutes, then lays down and rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's jaw is on the floor! He says "That's amazing! I've never seen anything like that in my life!"
He then turns to me and asks, "Can you top that?"

I answered, "Possibly... but you've got to get that lion out of there first."

[jadegil6]

A young girl comes home after visiting her neighbor.
She asks her mom what it is called when two people are sleeping on top of each other in the bedroom.
Her Mom just comes right out and tells her that it is called intercourse, and that is how babies are made.
The little girl runs back to the neighbors.
A little while later the girl comes home and says, "Mom, you were wrong! It is called bunk beds, and Mrs. Johnson want to see you."