As Nicolas Charles Sparks, aptly says, "The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected.". Maybe they always have and will be. Maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each other. And maybe each time, we've been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.
That's because the heart so much refuses to let go, and that's what makes it so much harder to let go. The long days of absence of a loved one simply makes the heart squeezes in pain and the tears to fall uncontrollably.
Christian is a four year old toddler who is a neighbour and we are the best of friends. But when Christian's mum has spoken to me that I should stop visiting and playing with him, heaven and earth fell on me. Like someone being sandwiched or buried alive in the Haiti's intensity 7 rubbles. I couldnt fathom the reason why as we get along very well. We would practically spent hours talking and playing. Being a single person as I am and my nephews are all grown ups, a toddler is what misses the emptiness in my life at the moment. A toddler completes my hollowed life. Soon realized that Emily is becoming insecure.
Last night was a wake up call for me, when I told Christian that I'll be bringing my birthday cake and birthday noodles plus chicken joy,. he immediately retorted. NO, you dont have to do that. I will throw away all the foods that youll be bringing!!! His grandparents were there and asked him, who told him to do that. He said his mum...Why on earth that his mum was saying that and even teaching the four year child such an unbecoming behaviour? I just told him that foods are grace from God and you shouldnt throw them away. Our Dear Lord will get disappointed and angry. Many are hungary and unable to eat...If you can just throw them inside your tummy, then its better...I told him, well, i think that I shouldnt come here anymore...and walked away...
Ive realized that the seeds of genuine friendship has started rotting and wasted. I couldnt do anything as his mum is trying to ruin our friendship and even my credibility as a human being...
I am feeling depressed and despairing at the looming loneliness or empty part of my life that lies ahead. Depression is actually a way of accepting reality, so then I can move forward.
Even though I can keep in touch and see him from a distance, the intensity of friendship will not be sustainable: being in avoidance, or they (and me hopefully) experiencing new horizons and things.
I will Just remember that I am a witness to a part of our lives and so I will be special, in some way, with each other.
I still dont know if i will have some closure… and I'll mark this new chapter in my life.That with all the things that I am going through, having a farewell that is a special goodbye . Even if it's just a last goodbye..
I'll take the time also to do new things to help myself move on from a sad goodbye , and develop relationships with other people. New friendships take time so start building them now - but I wont neglect nor forget that one special person that I am leaving.
It’s good to challenge myself to find more friends because in any good relationship, I can find myself getting lazy with meeting new people, because I don’t ‘need’ them.
Everyone enriches our own lives with more experiences both the people leaving and those staying behind.