The Most Powerful Force In The Universe
Posted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 9:38 pmYears of observation have made me realise that the most powerful force in the universe is the Little Old Lady (henceforth referred to as LOL)
All old ladies are small. One of the fundamental laws of nature is that you cannot have something for nothing. The clever doctors have their theories about osteoporosis but few realise the truth. This shrinkage is the result of LOLs gaining ‘the power’.
The evidence is there before your very eyes. A master LOL enters a packed train carriage. In minutes their luggage is stowed for them. They have the best seat and they have extracted the lifestory of everybody sitting within ten yards.
The hulking yob drops litter, God help them if a LOL is nearby. They either get the look and go back and pick it up and put it in the litter bin (trash can for those of an American persuasion) or are politely told off by the LOL that leaves them a quivering wreck. If you or I asked the Yob to pick up the litter the minimum would be a stream of invective directed at you or more likely a severe beating leaving you in Casualty at the local hospital.
I live next door to a LOL. I had an extension built on my house. The builders spent as much time doing ‘little jobs’ for the LOL as building my extension. The LOL would come out in the morning and greet them ‘hello boys’ and smile. At that point I knew little work would get done on my house. Then followed those fateful words “I have this little problem – could one of you strong young men help me”. She had her roof fixed and numerous other jobs done by ‘my’ builders.
And the source of the LOLs power – they remind you of your Mum.
So I have a proposal to fix the problems of the world. Only LOLs can hold elected office. All our governments to be run by LOLs. To be elected you must be female and over the age of 65. There would be no more wars or financial problems. Corruption would disappear. The United Nations would be reduced to exchanging favourite recipes or knitting patterns.
Does anybody agree?
All old ladies are small. One of the fundamental laws of nature is that you cannot have something for nothing. The clever doctors have their theories about osteoporosis but few realise the truth. This shrinkage is the result of LOLs gaining ‘the power’.
The evidence is there before your very eyes. A master LOL enters a packed train carriage. In minutes their luggage is stowed for them. They have the best seat and they have extracted the lifestory of everybody sitting within ten yards.
The hulking yob drops litter, God help them if a LOL is nearby. They either get the look and go back and pick it up and put it in the litter bin (trash can for those of an American persuasion) or are politely told off by the LOL that leaves them a quivering wreck. If you or I asked the Yob to pick up the litter the minimum would be a stream of invective directed at you or more likely a severe beating leaving you in Casualty at the local hospital.
I live next door to a LOL. I had an extension built on my house. The builders spent as much time doing ‘little jobs’ for the LOL as building my extension. The LOL would come out in the morning and greet them ‘hello boys’ and smile. At that point I knew little work would get done on my house. Then followed those fateful words “I have this little problem – could one of you strong young men help me”. She had her roof fixed and numerous other jobs done by ‘my’ builders.
And the source of the LOLs power – they remind you of your Mum.
So I have a proposal to fix the problems of the world. Only LOLs can hold elected office. All our governments to be run by LOLs. To be elected you must be female and over the age of 65. There would be no more wars or financial problems. Corruption would disappear. The United Nations would be reduced to exchanging favourite recipes or knitting patterns.
Does anybody agree?
