Jaderune Pen Pals

Long distance relationship is hard since it is not talking to the person personally. Guy and girl are just talking on Cam or Cellphone or sending email.

The conversation must be good and be open enough everything, sharing things what happened for the day and also what are the concerns and how a person feel about things. It is more on knowing each other better.

While dating online, there are really things that need to be very careful. As many people would say, How you say it is different from what you say.

There are really questions that makes my heart become getting further from a person. There are questions that really make me sad and feel me angry or irritable. When I become close to the person and then when the conversation is not good, then the first feeling of being closer to the man becomes cold.

One thing that it really irritates me to ask me is: WHAT IS IN YOUR MIND?Please do not ask me this question because it makes me feel bad or feeling irritable. I would suggest that when you guys or girls talk over cam, I have observed that this question makes me angry or bad at all. It would be better to share your thoughts without questioning what is in your mind. Feel free to share them and then you realize you are learning each other. What do you think?

Anyone could share about irritable question that you do not like whether talking to the person online or in person? Please share your thoughts.

Crissi,

I think I disagree with you for the first time ever!

I think when someone asks what is on your mind, it can be the highest of compliments. They are basically saying that your thoughts are important and I want to focus on those for now. They are placing themselves second and placing you first.

Now sometimes I get irritated when someone asks me that question, but that is usually because I am thinking something I do not want to discuss. Therefore the problem is with me, not them.

I get irritated when someone asks me about financial information. Do you like me for who I am or what I can buy?

Bill

If a person asks me what color of my pantys that would irritate me. Because they should know its red ha ha!
Whats on your mind? Its a topic starter usually when its all suddenly gets quiet. My husband usually asks me that and it makes me feel special because it means he is concern about my thoughts andwhats bothering me. For me its a good time to talk about something important like debts and kids lol ... If i dont feel like talking what my thoughts are i would just say: nothing important just thinking is all. Then he would respect it if i wont open it to him. It should not be a big deal at all.

fenmoor wrote:Crissi,

I think I disagree with you for the first time ever!

I think when someone asks what is on your mind, it can be the highest of compliments. They are basically saying that your thoughts are important and I want to focus on those for now. They are placing themselves second and placing you first.

Now sometimes I get irritated when someone asks me that question, but that is usually because I am thinking something I do not want to discuss. Therefore the problem is with me, not them.

I get irritated when someone asks me about financial information. Do you like me for who I am or what I can buy?

Bill

I just really do not like to question me that way. I would rather love to hear, "Crisi, how are you doing and how is your weekend or how is your life going on? Than to ask me, "What is in your mind?" Ewwwww I just so hate that. I do not want to hear that. It is really makes me irritated and my blood pressure rise up.

I agree with Crisi on this one! The question, "What is in your mind? is so vague! What does it mean? I agree with Crisi, that there are better ways to get information other than saying, "What is in your mind?" So better ideas would be, "How has your day been? Crisi's suggestion asking "How are you doing?" expresses concern for the person. There is no concern in "What is in your mind?" "How is your weekend" is also a question expressing concern. "How is your life going" also shows a caring attitude. The only thing that "What is in your mind? conveys is that someone wants to pry out private information that maybe should be kept personal. I would not want to be asked, "What is in your mind? either!

This is to aware men over the internet. It is not good to ask someone about what is in your mind. Just share your thought and be sincere what is really the matter. Do not play feelings over here because it i snot good.

Why does it bother you so much?

Yeah I somewhat agree Crisi. To ask for a persons thoughts on a particular matter is one thing and is usually a good way to stimulate a conversation. To just throw out a blank"what is on your mind" is a cheap way to put the responsibility of maintaining the flow of conversation on the respondant. If someone is unwilling or unable to keep communication flowing smoothly they might throw such a question out not realizing how much they are putting the other party on the spot.

I agree with you, Smiley, in that it is a cheap way, and an uncomfortable way to try to keep the conversation flowing. First of all it is very vague, as who knows what the purpose it, and that is part of the problem. And it does put the other person on the spot to come up with something out of their mind, which they may not be able or willing to devulge. I agree with Crisi's idea, of asking, "How did your day go," or even "What did you do today? Ask some questions that there are legitamate answers to that don't call for an exposure of privacy. When you are asked "What is in your mind?" it is like what do you want me to tell you?

Asking some of these kinds of questions is like having your mouth in gear with your brain disengaged! It it is a good idea to always think before speaking. We have an expression, "open your mouth and put your foot in." I have also heard it as you "open your mouth and you put both feet in," meaning the same thing that you say something stupid that gets you into trouble because you did not think about what you were going to say first.