by m&m » Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:51 pm
There are reasons for marriage and one of that is to satisfy biological desire (sex). “Man is born with certain desires that are good, holy and legitimate but can only be satisfied in marriage.” An intimate relationship is a beautiful experience that God wants us to enjoy. But He has the fulfillment of intimacy a byproduct of commitment – based loved. Have you given completely your heart to a man/woman (though without physically involved) and you broke up with him/her and that definitely was the toughest thing that ever happened to you? Had you experience traumatic breakup that affects your health and emotions? Had you heard the news guys/gals commit suicide because of broken relationship? Does it sound familiar to you or you have heard from a friend or family circle? Dating encourages intimacy for the sake of intimacy and two people get close to each other without any real intention of making a long term commitment as others had experienced.
Sex is the highest expression of love, my philosophy teacher said. Others defined sex is love or vice versa. A comrade of mine in the uniformed service said that “making out” with a man is the way of giving her trust, love, heart to the man she loves (not married yet). And it makes her vulnerable. As long as something is good we should seek to enjoy it immediately, as most culture teaches us, like microwave the food, email letters, express mail packages, etc. That means always accelerating the time. Just like kids or very young people involve in a dating relationship, and even sexual relationship (and they said it feels good) at very young age but is it right? They become close or intimate physically and others indulged in premarital sex. Had you heard the line “IF YOU REALLY LOVED ME YOU DO IT” when a guy pressures her partner into sex? Is LOVE motivated in a man when he scars her girlfriend emotionally and destroys her relationship with God? No, it isn’t but selfishness, insincerity and irresponsibility motivated in him. Did you read the news about celebrities got married and got separated? Did you experience having an intimate relationship with whom and when she or he finds somebody else better then ended his/her relationship with you? So is that love what others trying to say? That is not TRUE LOVE – that is what we call dump LOVE. Best friend of mine (married already) said that sex is a wonderful experience. It is the season of life God gave us to enjoy. They waited for the right time until God guides them to the altar. And /yet indulged outside marriage, we sin. “Like a fruit picked green or a flower plucked before it blossoms, our attempt to rush God’s timing can spoil the beauty of His plan for our lives.” “Just because something is good doesn’t mean we should pursue it right now. Remember that the RIGHT thing in the WRONG time is the WRONG thing.” Yes, I do believe that until two people can’t make a commitment to each other, they don’t have any business pursuing romance\marriage. For others, “LOVE justified a night in the hotel room enjoying each other’s body. Their love was impatient and demanded compromise. For some, LOVE fueled integrity and gave them the patience needed to wait.” Yes, intimacy without commitment, like icing without cake, can be sweet, but it ends up making us sick.
Philippine culture, particularly in big cities, has already influenced by western culture like “Dating is a product of entertainment – driven ‘disposable-everything’ western culture.” People think that singleness grants license to fool around, to try out people emotionally and sexually. Those remote areas especially in the provinces are not much inclined and still typical Filipina remains: conservative, godly/religious, family oriented/close family ties, and other good values, name it! God has a very different view, Hebrews 13:4 (KJV) reads: “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” Other version reads: “Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband,” He commands. As Christian we should respect the institution of marriage should motivate us to protect it from violation while we’re single. Recognizing the deep significance of sexually intimacy – at any level – and refusing to steal these privileges before marriage.” We should desire sexual purity, not only in physically also emotionally and mentally (easy say than done). It is only by God’s grace we can do this and stand for it. As Christian, since sex is reserve for marriage, then how can we know that we are ready for marriage or when to marry?
“Marriage was meant to be happy as it is the residue of sinless Eden, Genesis 1:28. Proverbs 18: 22 ‘Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord.’ Marriage has been ordained of the Lord for the procreation of the race and the establishment of homes for children where happiness and joy can reign. We live in a day of low standards, when marriage vows are easily broken and divorce is considered common. God’s laws and standards do not change. “
I never had a bf until I finished college and land a job. That is how my parents brought us and also from church teaching. Why? Marriage is for the adult not for the young. It is when God guides you into marriage after much prayer and seeking His will. It is until you know the other person sufficiently well to know his or her likes and dislikes, good points and bad points. Hasty marriages are dangerous. For the man, if he cannot provide his family financially, then he is more than an infidel and also the wife should help. That means wait for a measure of financial stability, not wealth, but some security. Wait for love because infatuation is not enough. Marriage is for life and it will take Godly love (1 Cor.13) to make a happy home. And it should be based on genuine heart agreement of the couple. To have a happy family, ”make Christ the Head of the home – both Lord and Savior of the home. Let the husband maintain a tender love for his wife and children. Let the wife develop the unselfish love of a wife and mother.”
An intimate relationship w/ God must b our highest priority. When U hav right or poor relationship w/Him,out of that relationshp flows everything else in our life. Thus, your relationship to Him determines how you live your life. It all relates to that