Jaderune Pen Pals

How Important Is Sex In A Relationship?

Sex is very important, but you can't have a relationship based on sex. There will be a time you wouldn't be having any then what? Being comfortable with each and being able to talk even about nothing can lead to a comfortable relationship. So when sex does come up IMHO it is that much better.

bobyam wrote:Sex is very important, but you can't have a relationship based on sex. There will be a time you wouldn't be having any then what? Being comfortable with each and being able to talk even about nothing can lead to a comfortable relationship. So when sex does come up IMHO it is that much better.

hehehe...your right..sex is not really important in a relationship...

cutegen wrote: So when sex does come up (the relationship) it is that much better. (In brackets my words).

Sex is that integral act of a relationship which should bond together the male and female as they share those
wonderful intimate moments in that loving - - - ?

Yes, sex can soon wane but that closeness of a loving relationship can still keep the "home fires burning!"

Comments anyone?

Sex is 50% of the relationship and those who would deny it are only deceiving themselves. Reasons for this are very obvious and simple. Take away sex from the relationship and what do you have? From the male and female perspective, it follows (reverse genders as appropriate):

1. Your father can pay your bills,
2. your brother protect and defend you
3. your mother can wash your clothes and clean your house
4. your girlfriends can keep you company
5. your guyfriends can wine-n-dine you
6. your boss can give you money by paying you
7. car dealers will sell you a car to get around in
8. you can choose pets over babies and a spouse for companionship (yuck)
9. you can babysit neighborhood kids if you want to be around kids
10. You can go to an internet forum/social website for conversation

So as you can see, the main point of having a marriage is that exclusivity you can't get in any other relationship with the above subjects. Sure you can pay a prostitute or seek a willing tramp but then, that defeats the point of this post on the reason sex is 50% of the marriage. And it works for both men and women alike. Neither would stay long in a physically loveless relationship any more than in an emotionally loveless one. You can't take it away or control it. For men, sex is love. For women, love is sex. He gives it to show love, she gives it to be loved. Try being in a marriage where the "I love you's" are not there or limited, etc? See how long it lasts, especially for the woman. Never underestimate the need, urge, desire and passion of sex in the marriage. It is the glue that holds it together. The more glue applied, the stronger the bond. The weaker or lesser the glue, the weaker the bond until there is breakage. Common sense. Sex is everything. But not the ONLY thing. That is the difference. Doubt me? Why do you think most break ups happen? Set aside the DV and most of the time it is cheating - sex with another. You can give almost anything else of yourself to another person but not sex. If sex isn't everything (loyalty, bonding, love, union, creation) what is? Common sense.

well let me chime in yes sex is important whoever says it is not then they are not being satisfied correctly and yes size matters same applies but you are right there is a time when you have to talk and if thats not there then it feels lot awkward so to start with women need to find a guy who can carry a conversation before they jump in bed right or wrong ????

i also believe that couples should have sex before a long relationship because i for one donot want a woman who is drab in bed and be stuck with her forever thats why ppl start cheating i think but thats just my 2 cents

Big news

An average penis length of 5 erect and 3 flaccid inches is normal for men—that’s significantly smaller than what most men think is normal.

“Generally, every man [and woman] believes the ultimate in sexiness and masculinity is to have a larger-than-average penis,” says sexologist Dr. Trina Read. “The fact is, men with large penises often find it difficult to find a partner who is comfortable having intercourse and giving oral sex.”

During intercourse, penis size has little to do with partner satisfaction. Most of the sensitive nerve endings are concentrated close to a woman’s vaginal opening—which means a penis of any size can be highly pleasurable.

“What most women really want is technique,” says Dr. Read.


Or as me old pappy used to say, "Well.....It ain't how long the rope is...it's how you dip the bucket!"

For me the importance of sex depends on which relationship you are in. In friendship, you dont involve sex in it. Family relationship, definitely no. Marital..oh yes it is a vital need, otherwise will lead a partner to cheat. For "girlfriend/boyfriend" kung sa Bisaya pa uyab lang....hmmm...it depends on the couple. Biblically speaking it is not right to get into premarital sex. I dont want to be hyprocrite here but i did have sex with my husband before we got married just to make sure ...hhmmm hmmmm. But we were already engaged then to be married. And we had the blessing on our family and friends.

There are reasons for marriage and one of that is to satisfy biological desire (sex). “Man is born with certain desires that are good, holy and legitimate but can only be satisfied in marriage.” An intimate relationship is a beautiful experience that God wants us to enjoy. But He has the fulfillment of intimacy a byproduct of commitment – based loved. Have you given completely your heart to a man/woman (though without physically involved) and you broke up with him/her and that definitely was the toughest thing that ever happened to you? Had you experience traumatic breakup that affects your health and emotions? Had you heard the news guys/gals commit suicide because of broken relationship? Does it sound familiar to you or you have heard from a friend or family circle? Dating encourages intimacy for the sake of intimacy and two people get close to each other without any real intention of making a long term commitment as others had experienced.

Sex is the highest expression of love, my philosophy teacher said. Others defined sex is love or vice versa. A comrade of mine in the uniformed service said that “making out” with a man is the way of giving her trust, love, heart to the man she loves (not married yet). And it makes her vulnerable. As long as something is good we should seek to enjoy it immediately, as most culture teaches us, like microwave the food, email letters, express mail packages, etc. That means always accelerating the time. Just like kids or very young people involve in a dating relationship, and even sexual relationship (and they said it feels good) at very young age but is it right? They become close or intimate physically and others indulged in premarital sex. Had you heard the line “IF YOU REALLY LOVED ME YOU DO IT” when a guy pressures her partner into sex? Is LOVE motivated in a man when he scars her girlfriend emotionally and destroys her relationship with God? No, it isn’t but selfishness, insincerity and irresponsibility motivated in him. Did you read the news about celebrities got married and got separated? Did you experience having an intimate relationship with whom and when she or he finds somebody else better then ended his/her relationship with you? So is that love what others trying to say? That is not TRUE LOVE – that is what we call dump LOVE. Best friend of mine (married already) said that sex is a wonderful experience. It is the season of life God gave us to enjoy. They waited for the right time until God guides them to the altar. And /yet indulged outside marriage, we sin. “Like a fruit picked green or a flower plucked before it blossoms, our attempt to rush God’s timing can spoil the beauty of His plan for our lives.” “Just because something is good doesn’t mean we should pursue it right now. Remember that the RIGHT thing in the WRONG time is the WRONG thing.” Yes, I do believe that until two people can’t make a commitment to each other, they don’t have any business pursuing romance\marriage. For others, “LOVE justified a night in the hotel room enjoying each other’s body. Their love was impatient and demanded compromise. For some, LOVE fueled integrity and gave them the patience needed to wait.” Yes, intimacy without commitment, like icing without cake, can be sweet, but it ends up making us sick.
Philippine culture, particularly in big cities, has already influenced by western culture like “Dating is a product of entertainment – driven ‘disposable-everything’ western culture.” People think that singleness grants license to fool around, to try out people emotionally and sexually. Those remote areas especially in the provinces are not much inclined and still typical Filipina remains: conservative, godly/religious, family oriented/close family ties, and other good values, name it! God has a very different view, Hebrews 13:4 (KJV) reads: “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” Other version reads: “Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband,” He commands. As Christian we should respect the institution of marriage should motivate us to protect it from violation while we’re single. Recognizing the deep significance of sexually intimacy – at any level – and refusing to steal these privileges before marriage.” We should desire sexual purity, not only in physically also emotionally and mentally (easy say than done). It is only by God’s grace we can do this and stand for it. As Christian, since sex is reserve for marriage, then how can we know that we are ready for marriage or when to marry?
“Marriage was meant to be happy as it is the residue of sinless Eden, Genesis 1:28. Proverbs 18: 22 ‘Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord.’ Marriage has been ordained of the Lord for the procreation of the race and the establishment of homes for children where happiness and joy can reign. We live in a day of low standards, when marriage vows are easily broken and divorce is considered common. God’s laws and standards do not change. “
I never had a bf until I finished college and land a job. That is how my parents brought us and also from church teaching. Why? Marriage is for the adult not for the young. It is when God guides you into marriage after much prayer and seeking His will. It is until you know the other person sufficiently well to know his or her likes and dislikes, good points and bad points. Hasty marriages are dangerous. For the man, if he cannot provide his family financially, then he is more than an infidel and also the wife should help. That means wait for a measure of financial stability, not wealth, but some security. Wait for love because infatuation is not enough. Marriage is for life and it will take Godly love (1 Cor.13) to make a happy home. And it should be based on genuine heart agreement of the couple. To have a happy family, ”make Christ the Head of the home – both Lord and Savior of the home. Let the husband maintain a tender love for his wife and children. Let the wife develop the unselfish love of a wife and mother.”