Jaderune Pen Pals

Seems that filipnas are obsessed with babies. Seems all the single filipinas want (truth be told) is to find a western husband so they can have the money for babies. Of course I understand that women have a biological urge for children but maybe filipinas need to be realistic. I have lived in several different countries and of all the women in those countries only the filipinas seemed obsessed with having babies. I tell a filipna I may not want children she says she is ok with that but after a few conversations I ask some questions about what she really wants in life and the answer is babies! So she tells me what I want to hear but she is not being honest, because what she really wants is not me but a man who will provide money so she can have babies!

One reason I might find it difficult to live in the Philippines is it breaks my heart to see all those poor children. But filipinas keep on wanting babies! Maybe it's time for filipinas to stop wanting babies and start adopting and caring for the millions of poor Filipino children already there?

Truth Be Told I agree with some of what You say .. But I could Live in The Philippines and I Think I would be very Happy . No I do not want Children . But if I met the Right Lady and she Had a Child .. I think I could live with that ..The One Thing I Love about the Filipna Ladies is They are Much More trust worthy then Most of the dates I have had with American Ladies . Yes They are beautiful .. But it is Their Belief in God and the Fact That I believe They May Have a Pure Heart .I am going to the Philippines in June of next Year .. I want to See for Myself what The Islands Look Like .My Cousin Married a Young Lady from the Philippines and they are really Happy . I also have a friend Who Owns a Resort On Bohol .. So That is where I will be Going .. I wish everyone could find their Love ..

I know not everyone has the same opinion on this, but I think God created people with the drive to want to procreate. God said multiply and replentish the earth. We have our own, and we do our best to take care of our own. I wanted a larger family, but it didn't work that way. I love babies and children, and I wanted my own, loved my own, and we loved and helped raise one that was not our own. He doesn't pay much attention to us now that he is gown, but every once in a while he lets us know that he appreciated what we did for him. If I were a woman at my age I could not have any more children, but as a man if it worked out I would have more children, because it did not work out to have the size of family I wanted. I was from a family of 5 children, and we had 3. My Mom and Dad were from families of 12 or so kids. Both of them were farming families, and they had the kids help with the chores and the work that needed to be done on the farm. They could support more kids because of the farm. They all got out and had a part to do in helping. The trend has been for more of the children to go to the city and chose other things to do rather than the farm life. Then there has only been so much opportunity for some to continue the farm life as well. Some chose to do it, and some chose not to. Some are very successful, and others are less successful.

There are really two parts to this very serious issue.

First is honesty. How can a guy have a trusting relationship when the foundation is not honest? It is my experience and observation that many older western men do not want children, the younger Filipina agrees because she wants to marry the guy and so tells the guy what he wants to hear but later the truth comes out--she definitely does want and intends to have a child. That is big-time dishonesty.

Second problem is an unwanted child. What is worse in this world than an abused or neglected child? And tricking a man into being a parent certainly opens the possibility the child will not be as loved, appreciated and wanted by the father as it should be. The guy who expected to enjoy his days in leisure retirement with his beautiful wife is now faced with all the stress and responsibilities of food, clothing, home, education, healthcare for the child which may cause deep unseen resentment.

What I find mind-bending is that so many Filipinas don't seem to find anything wrong or find a way to rationalize misleading a guy on this most important issue of children. I am beginning to wonder if it is best for western men who do not want children to just NOT believe that a Filipina without children can be trusted to be honest on this issue.

Well, I can understand the filipina's side on this issue. She has been created with the natural urge to have children, and we can't blame her for that. I do agree with you though BBG, that she should be honest and open about her intentions, and not make the western older guy think that she is happy not to have any children when deep in her heart she wants some. The older western guy should realize that she probably feels that way, and he should make her comfortable enough so that she can be honest with him about that. The filipina has the urge to have children, and the older western guy does not, but he will engage in activities that he knows might bring the results of a child, so part of the responsibility is his. He has to decide if he wants to take that chance.

Not everyone is the same. By now I would be classified as an older guy, and yet if I were in the position with someone to have a child or children I wouldn't mind at all. It would not ruin my life or my retirement, but I would thoroughly enjoy that. I worked with a young Mexican fellow in his twenties, who had a father in his 90s. He loved his father and his father loved him. His father was not in good health due to his age, but as nearly as I could figure out they were all happy about the older father having a younger son.

Back when i was searching here, i asked men if they want to have babies if should they decide to marry. If a guy says no i turned him down. Women should be specific when talking to guys about future plans of family. Some desires just to have baby because its cute esp of mix blood. But think about what future you can provide for the baby. Baby grows thus his needs grows too.

red wrote:Back when i was searching here, i asked men if they want to have babies if should they decide to marry. If a guy says no i turned him down. Women should be specific when talking to guys about future plans of family. Some desires just to have baby because its cute esp of mix blood. But think about what future you can provide for the baby. Baby grows thus his needs grows too.

Amen! Red you are exactly right. Both men and women must be honest and fully disclose their wants and intentions for children and family. There are too many unwanted and uncared for children and that is terrible.

Shortly after my youngest was born I had a vasectomy.For all real purposes my baby making days are over.I like kids just fine,my 3 make me very proud and we are pretty close.I have raised 4 kids in total,only 3 of them mine.I would not mind hooking up with someone that already had kids because I understand how important it is to some women to be mothers.A young woman may even be able to convince herself that having kids is not that important,but one day that miserable biological clock will start ticking very loudly and she will have cause for regret.Sometimes such a regret can be all consuming.
We all have a certain amount of regret in our lives but if someone I care for has regrets I don`t want to be what she is regretting,I hope this is easy to understand.
I`m not so much looking for a ready made family ,but simply having a child would certainly not disqualify a woman that I was considering.

Smiley wrote:Shortly after my youngest was born I had a vasectomy.For all real purposes my baby making days are over.I like kids just fine,my 3 make me very proud and we are pretty close.I have raised 4 kids in total,only 3 of them mine.I would not mind hooking up with someone that already had kids because I understand how important it is to some women to be mothers.A young woman may even be able to convince herself that having kids is not that important,but one day that miserable biological clock will start ticking very loudly and she will have cause for regret.Sometimes such a regret can be all consuming.
We all have a certain amount of regret in our lives but if someone I care for has regrets I don`t want to be what she is regretting,I hope this is easy to understand.
I`m not so much looking for a ready made family ,but simply having a child would certainly not disqualify a woman that I was considering.

That is honest and honesty is the basis for a strong long-term relationship. Many, many filipinas who are single but have a child would like to meet you. Very difficult for a filipina with a child to find a man in the philippines. Having a kano who treated her well, provided and accepted her child would move her from the bottom to top of the ladder in the philippines.

How things change when the baby comes into the house! The movie, "Lady and the Tramp" shows a little bit about that because when the baby was born Lady dropped a few notches. Lady was no longer the baby, but there was a baby who took her place. The who house hold changed when the baby came. Just think of all the baby talk that goes on, and the parents playing with the baby as if they were babies. Suddenly the babies needs are paramount. Life is never the same, and in a good way, when the baby comes into the home! Don't you want a baby?