What Do You Do When People Mistreat You?

[Edwin]

We have all been mistreated at one time or another. I grew up in a family where we all loved each other very much, and we treated each other well. I thought the world was such a place, but boy did I learn that not everyone was as members of our family were loving and caring for each other. Through the years I have had a few people mistreat me, and it has hurt my feelings badly. I was not prepared for it, because such things did not happen in our family, and because of our family being self employed, farming and ranching we had a very happy enterprise, and my Dad was enough of a business person so that we were always successful. Since being out on my own, and away from the family that I grew up in, some years were great and wonderful, with me seeming to make everyone happy, and I was happy with everyone else. Then there were years that it seemed like trouble was on every corner. We have just lived though about 4 years of horror. I have said probably too much about it at times, but it has been very demoralizing. It involved out kids, our own kids, 2 of them hating the 3rd one, and that creating misery for us, yes, Carol, and me especially, and I was the one that caught the brunt of the hate, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness; yes those are qualities that two or our children that we loved and raised have. What happened to me was that I was reacting to that and becoming much like that person with those qualities. Carol told me not to stoop to their level, but to take all my troubles to Jesus, and that has helped me immensely. She told me that God would deal with me, and the people who were being mean would answer to God for their behavior, and so she said for me to be the person that I am supposed to be, and leave the other person up to God, and God would deal with them, and it would be between that person and God, and so I have commited it to God to take care of everything. I would love to see this person be loving and kind, but when a person hates their sister, and is not willing to be forgiving, I don't know what the answer is. Anyway I found this interesting story of Facebook, and I thought I would share it here:

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the anim...
al was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less from people but more from yourself.

[mystic]

Uh, this old story came here too

I have a natural attitude to upset the people mistreating me. My reaction usually is not to react, but instead detach from myself and the situation, and try to see the stage of the comedy from another perspective. It's like being in a theater. However, as I look at the mistreating person's face from that distance, I can see the funny expressions, and I cannot avoid to laugh.

So, I end up laughing in the face of the mistreating person, which they usually find very irritating, because they feel they cannot have a grasp on me. Well, what can I do. I only respond to God and don't stay into their games. Sorry that I cannot be your toy, guys

[Edwin]

That is a good way to deal with mistreating people, just not to let them affect you. Often times they are after the reaction anyway, and if there is no reaction, or not the reaction they expect, they will give up. When someone is really railing on you, and you just stay happy that really irritates some people. A little good humor is a good thing.

[Smiley]

I do like your point to 'expect less of other people but expect more from yourself'.
How I react depends on the situation.Some episodes are barely worth noticing,others demand immediate attention
I find it a lot easier to avoid such situations now than I ever did in my youth.I much prefer it this way.

[Smiley]

We have all met a person that is always on the offensive,either always looking for a fight or always looking for something to be offended by.These people will take some tiny little detail and try to start a war over it. It`s a lot easier to deal with people like that as long as you remind yourself that their anger is more at themselves than it is at you.
Kinda sad really.

[Edwin]

You are correct Smiley! My Dad told me one time when I had a disagreement with a brother-in-law who was the kind of person you are talking about. Many years and hard circumstances have changed him, and now he is not a bad guy, but when we were young he would do everythink imaginable to make my life miserable. I was helping my Dad build a new house. He was jealous of me because I was the son, but he was only the son-in-law, and he really wanted the privileges of the son. Well, one day he said nasty things to me while I was helping my Dad build the house. He also told me that I would not last one minute on a construction job because I was too slow and precise, and he might have been correct, but my Dad told me later that he would rather have me working on it, than he would to have him working on it, because when I finished the board fit, and when he finished it was sloppy, and either had large gaps, or was driven in too tight. My Dad also told me, "Never argue with a fool, because the bystander listening will have a hard time knowing which one is the fool!" I thought about that saying many times, and it makes very good sense, and within the last year I discovered that, not in those exact words, but almost the same, and the same meaning it is in the Bible, I think in Proverbs if I remember correctly!

You are right, that there are people who are ready to offend, or ready to be offended, and before you figure out such people they can bring you misery! We have such people very close to us, and Carol said that she wondered why they had so much trouble with people everywhere they lived, and now she knows, and I know, and it cost us both a few years of misery before we figured that out. You just have to handle such people with kid gloves, get what you can from them, give what they will let you, and be very careful, so that they do not tell everyone they know what horrible people you are, when they are the horrible people themselves, and they are self centered and blinded to the truth, and will never realize that they are their own worst enemies, most everyone else's worst enemies as well. They have a limited number of friends that they dearly love, say wonderful things about, until they either do something to make the other people angry, or like you say they become angry over something that does not matter at all!

[crisipicada]

I experienced that. Even before, when someone who is high regard in the community, we who are in the low profile sometimes treat us with discrimination. My grand parents are tenant, and so my mother grow in a difficult life with her parents. My late father get out from their house and try his lack here in Mindanao because of poor family.

While we were in training center, the tactical inspectors mistreat us. To the point that they will try to embarrass us and try to treat us badly -emotionally, physically...

I am thankful that my elder sister advise me to take it easy. Sometimes, i am driven by fear and can't continue anymore. She said, I should not do it as an obligation or responsibility or with fear by enjoy the moment while I was there. Enjoy it, and think it positively that there is always good out of bad situation. So, I try to think and act that way.

When somebody mistreat me, I just think more that maybe she or he did that to me because she or he might not in good condition or have problems in life. So, if someone mistreat me, I do not feel hurt or sad. I know that there is a reason behind. Or maybe also I have some fault. So better to be open minded.

[harrybro]

My Dad also told me, "Never argue with a fool, because the bystander listening will have a hard time knowing which one is the fool!" I thought about that saying many times, and it makes very good sense, and within the last year I discovered that, not in those exact words.

[Edwin]

You have a very good attitude about that, Crisi! Often when someone dishes out mistreatment, they do not feel so good about themselves. Your older sister had some very good advice for you about that mistreatment. We have to keep ourselves right and leave the rest to God, and He will take care of it all!