Jaderune Pen Pals

As Sir Edwin was alone again in his thread "Home Alone Again", but me, I hate to be alone!

For the past year, I stayed in the apartment with Girlie. Although, I got so many stress and problems in life, I realize that I cannot live alone. Really, that is true.

When I finally move to the barrio, I really told mama to refrain from words that really trigger anger and bad emotion/feelings. I told mama to refrain from unhealthy communication but rather encouraging words. So, when Juvie and company moved, I need to go back home because I cannot live alone.

To be honest, this is my emotional distress right now. I have two elder brothers who gave too much problem in the house. They get drunk and yell at home. Oh, talking about drunk, i do not like to marry someone who drink wine. That is my prayer.

Anyway, I already prayed to God and make some commitment to really get married this year. I talk to my eldest sister who is not married until now, asking her that if she wont get married last March this year 2013, I might be getting married, too. She ask, to whom I will get married? I do not have a boyfriend, I said. But that is my prayer.

Another thing is that, my mother is not feeling well a lot. If just in case this will happen, I am praying that the soonest possible time, I want to settle down and have my own family. That is my prayer. Because I do not want to stay home anymore.

Crisi, I am not a very good aloner. I remember being alone a little while many years ago when I worked at the sawmill. I think all I ate was icecream! Last summer I was alone longer than I had ever been since we were married. Carol went on 2 trips, one spinning/knitting for almost a week, and then the trip to the East Coast, and together she was gone pretty close to one month! Just recently when Carol went down to help our granddaughter while our youngest daughter, her mother was gone to California I was alone for 2 weeks. I ate better when Carol was gone for a month because there were a lot of small containers of beans in the freezer, and that was before our daughter here was really mad at me, so she sent supper over for me each night, but now she won't speak, won't come around me, so good luck, no food from her! I did okay though. Hot oatmeal for breakfast, half slice of bread and lettuce for lunch, and peanut butter, honey and milk for supper!

I was working so hard and so busy that I didn't have time or strength to feel alone last summer for that month, but this past 2 weeks that I was alone I will have to admit that I did feel lonely! Poor me, huh? Anyway I would not want to live alone. If anything happened to Carol, I would try to find someone who hopefully would treat me right, and then I would not be alone!

I will keep praying for you Crisi! I am glad, Crisi, that you talked with your Mother about keeping your communications positive! That is important for good feelings. Carol and I work at that really hard. I am determined not to say mean things to her, because if she dies, I don't want guilt feelings, thinking I didn't treat her right, and we are all going to have to answer to God for the way we treat other people!

I am sorry, Crisi about your brothers getting drunk and yelling. I have been praying for them also, that God would speak to them and draw them with His Holy Spirit!

I pray, Crisi, that you will not have to be alone much longer!

I would just say a note about being careful. One often escapes from a situation to find himself in the same situation. Problems always come back, unless... one did not overcome them physically, emotionally and in the brain.

Then, are we really alone when we are alone? If we are believers, we know that God is always with us. So we are never really alone. And if we pay attention carefully, we should feel that difficult to explain thing that I would call, as Jews call it, the feeling of the Divine Presence.

I also don't like to be alone and think that one should always be in a couple. Sometimes I feel sick of thinking about that, because it is a mixture of many feelings. It's not just loneliness, but it's about sharing. I am not en ego-centric person and I like to see a smile in the other. When you are alone and live your life, good and bad things happen. When something good happens, you would like to scream and announce your happiness to somebody, or give that happiness to somebody else too. But there is nobody near you. So you just keep it for yourself. And day by day you tell your heart: don't feel joy, don't feel pain; life is always same, there is no reason for enjoying or feeling sad. So you learn to live like a vegetable, or a stone. Everything has the same color. But when you are in a couple, all takes life. Moreover, like in a mirror, you see yourself and who you are, and you have further chances of improving your life.

However, there is another side too. In loneliness one also develops a contact with God. One does not just direct all his emotions and feelings to a mate, but to all created things. One puts his mind into listening mode and feels God's Presence in everything, the stones, the grass, the animals, anything he finds in his way.

So, anything God sends us, there is always a purpose and something to learn.

I hate to be alone too! =( And I have always been alone.

It is possible to be alone in a crowded house.It is also possible to never be alone as long as you have the thoughts of a friend. I don`t mind being alone but at the same time I prefer to not be alone.I can function quite well either way.
Crisi; I am sad to hear that your brothers poor behavior is causing you heartache.I know a lot of people that should not drink,I don`t blame the alcohol,I blame the feeling of entitlement that some people seem to have when it comes to putting their egos above the people around them.

My Dad told about an old farmer who lived up here before I was born. They saw him on the street corner down town where people were coming and going, and he told my Mom and Dad that he was really lonely and needed to get back to his farm, where you would think he should have been lonely, but not there with his plants and his animals!

There is a song, "How Can I Be Lonely, When I've Jesus Only," and that was a very good point that mystic made about not being alone or lonely when you have God with you. You know God was lonely when he walked into the Garden of Eden and could not find Adam and Eve to fellowship with. God wants to fellowship with us as much as we want company with other people. God loves us and He wants us! We have God in our lives, and we have each other in our lives as well. We need God in our lives, and we need each other in our lives as well. I want to be with someone, not just to talk all the time, or hear them talk all the time, but just to be in their presence and have them in my presence. You don't have to say anything; it just feels really good to have someone with you. We have all hear of the comfortable silence, and the uncomfortable silence. You can have silence and be comfortable, or you can say a lot of nothing, and it makes the other person feel loved!

I have an internal protectiveness where it's like, if it comes to just me, as frightened as I am of losing someone I love or things going sour or simply being alone, there is a dark place in my brain where I'm like, It could happen and I'm okay, I'm prepared. Music should probably provide answers in terms of lyrical content, and giving people a sense of togetherness and oneness, as opposed to being alone in their thoughts and dilemmas or regrets or happiness or whatever.

Although I also hate to be alone, it is also good sometimes to be alone Like praying or enjoying a moment, reminisce times, good thoughts, and also smart thoughts I like to do that alone. Sometimes, I prefer to announce it on Facebook. But my friends would tell me why I am very emotional so I quit doing that lol I like to spend time with myself alone but when I get used to it, I mean for myself as you grow and enter the preadulthood life, I have changed (a bit) like to be with friends and it is also good to have few friends but real rather than many but not true. When I was a kid, I like to be alone, work alone and do sleep alone coz my older sister annoys me when we play Best time to be alone is when you are reading and working on the chores at home with some good music hehe