Sixty Ways to Improve Your Marriage

[m&m]

I want to share this to you, regarding how to improve marriage. I have read this long time ago and I found out that this is more for the husband. So, I hope that this will give your more knowledge how to improve such marriage life. Sixty ways to Improve Your Marriage

1. Learn your spouse’s love language.
2. Never forget her love language and speak it often.
3. Read I Corinthians 13:4-8, and live it.
4. Treat your spouse to an old-fashioned foot washing.
5. Give her a body massage and , as you do, pray aloud for her.
6. Leave an intimate note on her pillow.
7. Help keep an atmosphere of peace in the home.
8. Pray for her life daily.
9. Do a chore that is supposed to be her responsibility.
10. Allow her t make and maintain female friendships with other ladies.
11. Plan a romantic evening.
12. Praise her in public.
13. Praise her to your parents and in-laws.
14. Save money and buy her something she really wanted.
15. After the kids are in bed, have a candlelight or firelight evening.
16. Build up her confidence with the things that you say.
17. Fix up things around the house.
18. When she has a concern, listen to it.
19. Support each other in front of the children.
20. Don’t complain
21. Make sure she always has nice clothes.
22. Allow your wife to take up a new hobby or interest with you or share those you already have.
23. Be quick to say, “I’m sorry,” and even quicker to forgive.
24. Be a man she can trust. Don’t share more than you should with others.
25. Don’t depend on her to meet all your needs.
26. Arrange for her to have some quiet time away from the children.
27. Maintain your health and strength.
28. Avoid jealousy. Trust her.
29. Make a cassette tape of inspiring words and thoughts (yours or those from another source) that she can play.
30. Play a funny, but safe, practical joke on her to add humor to your life.
31. Pray for her weaknesses, praise her strength.
32. Exercise together.
33. Keep the marriage exciting.
34. Put your wife before your children and make sure she knows that she will always hold that place.
35. Plan regular date nights. Be creative and do different things.
36. When tension builds between you and your wife, you be the peace maker.
37. Give her a nickname that only the two of your know.
38. Spend time talking about your dating days and what first attracted you to her. When you are tempted to think of her in a negative light, remind yourself of these things.
39. Always express thankfulness for all she does for you whether it be big or small.
40. Use physical affection often – hold her hand, rub her shoulder, rub her neck, pat her on the rear, kiss her, etc…
41. The next time you are tempted to enter into an area of disagreement don’t.
42. Avoid pointing out her mistakes, No matter how many mistakes she has made in the past.
43. Surround yourself with friends who want to see your marriage last and listen to them. Stay clear of those who point out your wife’s faults.
44. Speak kindly and watch the tone of your voice.
45. Be there in her hour of need.
46. Be content with what you have. Live within your means. Save much, spend little.
47. Develop a retirement plan that will provide a secure future.
48. Be slow to speak and quick to listen.
49. Always celebrate her birthday and your anniversary in some special way.
50. On each anniversary remember old times and plan for the future.
51. Maintain personal cleanliness.
52. Keep your areas in the house organized.
53. Accept her criticism and learn from it.
54. Treat her with respect and teach the children to do the same.
55. Keep your promises.
56. Let her sleep occasionally and serve her her favorite breakfast in bed.
57. Begin each day with a hug. End each night with a kiss.
58. Never argue in front of the children, better yet, never argue.
59. Be faithful to the Lord in your service together.
60. Continue to add to this list.
61.

[red]

Those are good tips..but wow, a lot to do he he...we choose to keep it simple and do our way as we can. We practice a few of them though. Good job M&M.

[mystic]

I agree, we have to remove points instead of adding and keep it simple

[Smiley]

I can`t help but notice that in all 60 of these points the woman has no responsibility towards improving the marriage
Are we to believe that the man should become a slave and receive no consideration in return?
Been there,done that,not going back

[jadegil6]

61. Read this list prior to saying, "I do".
Options:
a. Prepare to be hen-pecked throughout your marriage to a woman who thinks her poo doesn't stink.
b. Become an alcoholic so you stay drunk all the time, and then it'll be like water off a duck's back.
c. Turn around and run.

[red]

I told my husband to try all those ways. He said "what?!" he said he doesn't have all the time to please me.If I love him truthfully then he doesn't have to do most things. He even often say honey i'm tired i wanna sleep more. Of course, if one is working 12 hours who won't say such sentence. I do most times.

[mystic]

Right, those points are too much woman-oriented. I don't see where man is there

Today I am reading a mystical commentary.

“Clear” (Exodus 34:7) - what can clear a man that forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin cannot clear? This is the "jar", i.e. the mate of the man. And if not, “Whoever touches her shall not be clean” (Proverbs 6:29).

And the jar of the man is his wife. And she is the cup [of blessings]. Therefore, she needs cleansing and washing, so that, if she is a cup of blessings, about her it is said: “May cause the blessing to rest in your house” (Ezekiel 44:30). And if not, she is called ‘a cup of curse’.

The jar is man's heart. The woman is further likened to wine. It must be sealed in a clean jar, in order not to spoil. The good wine gladdens the hearts, but the bad wine spoils and makes everything impure.

“A garden enclosed is my sister, my spouse; a spring shut up, a fountain sealed” (Song of Solomon 4:12).

So, the woman should be the treasure in man's heart. The woman is responsible for what stirs in man's heart, and therefore his actions.

[crisipicada]

Because Filipina culture is to gain the heart of filipina. Not the filipina to always go after the men.

[cheryz]

additional to improve of marriage

1. Focus on Today

Many times we argue about the past. We begin by talking about something that bothers us now and then we go back in time. We recall incidents that occurred and thought had been laid to rest but now, suddenly, they are revived.

2. Change Yourself & Stop Trying to Change Your Spouse

We spend too much time thinking about how to fix the person we live with and not enough time contemplating how to make ourselves feel stronger. It’s time for a new approach.
While you cannot change your spouse’s actions, you can change your reaction.
We cannot blame our spouse for our unhappiness forever. If we decide to stay in a marriage then we cannot spend our days complaining. Often we call up friends and family and speak badly about our partner. There is no positive outcome from dissing your spouse. We need to stop putting down and start pulling ourselves up.

When your husband comes home moody, don’t fall into the trap of becoming moody yourself. I know this is easier said than done, but you are the only one who can decide how to feel inside your head and heart. Take back control of your emotions. Put on music, go for a run, listen to an enjoyable Torah tape- find something that you can do to keep your mood positive and happy.
When your wife is snappy, don’t respond in kind. You will be caught in a whirlpool of emotions and find your relationship going down the drain. Change the way you respond. Figure out how you can answer calmly without losing your dignity. You will set a new tone and be happy with the results.
This may not make the problem go away but it will help you feel more in control, stronger and as a result, you will feel more confident and happier with who you are.

3. Reframe

Instead of grumbling, zero in on what we can solve.
If your husband is not good at spending time with the children in the evening, maybe Sunday mornings would be better.
You feel that your wife brings up the same issue 100 times. Maybe if you would reassure her that you hear her concerns and voice back her emotions, she would finally feel that you are listening.
You need to remember why you fell in love in the first place. What are the qualities that attracted you to this person? Everyone has something good we can focus on, sometimes because of all our anger and hurts we simply cannot see.
Though it would of course be best if both husband and wife share working on their relationship together, this does not mean that we do not have power to make positive change on our own. We will become happier because we will not look toward others for make us happy. We will find happiness within.

[m&m]

Right, those points are too much woman-oriented. I don't see where man is there

Today I am reading a mystical commentary.

“Clear” (Exodus 34:7) - what can clear a man that forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin cannot clear? This is the "jar", i.e. the mate of the man. And if not, “Whoever touches her shall not be clean” (Proverbs 6:29).

And the jar of the man is his wife. And she is the cup [of blessings]. Therefore, she needs cleansing and washing, so that, if she is a cup of blessings, about her it is said: “May cause the blessing to rest in your house” (Ezekiel 44:30). And if not, she is called ‘a cup of curse’.

The jar is man's heart. The woman is further likened to wine. It must be sealed in a clean jar, in order not to spoil. The good wine gladdens the hearts, but the bad wine spoils and makes everything impure.

“A garden enclosed is my sister, my spouse; a spring shut up, a fountain sealed” (Song of Solomon 4:12).

Because if you learn her love language and she learns to love you, you will be amazed how your wife love you in return.

So, the woman should be the treasure in man's heart. The woman is responsible for what stirs in man's heart, and therefore his actions.