Searching for my man
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Re: Searching for my man
by wayne208 » Sun May 19, 2013 4:13 pm
When My Cousin Married his wife from Cebu . He was very Surprised to Learn that the Father-in-Law expected Money every Month .. My Cousin said that He figured on sending him Money at Christmas But that was it . The father then tried either The every Month or No Marriage Trick . So My Cousin Called his Bluff and said Fine I will fine another Lady in Cebu or Bohol . My Cousin then Stopped seeing the Really Nice Lady who He Loved . He then was seen at the beach talking to different Ladies all the time . Needless to say The Father in Law Told My Cousin He could Marry his Daughter if he Paid Him 4 times a year 500 dollars . My Cousin Knew that the Father was gambling so He said No . What the Father and the rest of the family did not know was that The Girl was seeing My Cousin almost every day .Sometimes through a Trusted Friend or one of her Sisters . She was telling Him What to say . In The End My Cousin gives His Wife's Family 500 Dollars every Christmas . And he is Now the Favorite Son in Law . So Yes I know that Most families want Money every Month But I also Know they will take it once a Year at Christmas Time . I have been invited to Meet My Cousin's Family as She has 3 Sister's still Unmarried .They range in age from 18 -30 . I am Single so I doubt I would come back without a Girl Friend or More .
- wayne208
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Re: Searching for my man
by Edwin » Sun May 19, 2013 9:45 pm
Wayne, my brother-in-law was in a situation where an older sister thought it was her job to give all the orders for everyone, and they were all supposed to follow whatever she said. Well, my brother-in-law refused, and they had two or three years of separation from the rest of the family, but eventually they got together, settled their differences, and they were all very happy for the 15 years that he lived with his filipina wife near her families. He even employed some of them, put some of them through college, and set some of them up in business. It didn't bankrupt him, as he had lots of money, something we don't have, sadly! 
He was the haves, and we are the have nots! We do okay though, and the Lord is with us!
Our good friend had this mental set that his filipina and her extended family was going to take advantage of him. He told me before they were married that he was not going to send one thin dime to any of them! Guess what, they have been married now, and happily married for 10 or more years, and he hired that family to build a new house for them in the Philippines, and he continues to pay them to maintain it, guard it, and keep it safe. He is also very generous. He was just afraid as many are that he might be taken advantage of, but he told me not long ago that they are his people, he loves them, they do things for him and his filipina, and he is glad to do what he can to help them. When he goes to visit them, he gives a large sack of rice to each family, except a younger brother and wife, and they are more wealthy than most of us are. Her filipina families make him very happy, and they make him very happy as well, and I can't think of any other way anyone would want it to be. I was with them all in the years 2010 for 2 weeks, the honeymoon was over with all of them as it had been 8 years or so that they had been married, and there were still good feeling, everyone loved each other, and no one took advantage of anyone!
As I have said before I have seen in my experience two who had a bad ride from the filipina wife, but in my family and friends there are a whole bunch for whom it has been and continues to be wonderful!
I will have to be honest, that it makes me angry when people get on here, bash filipinas, and make it seem that all of them are ready to do wrong to some poor western guy! Sorry for saying this, but these people have their nerve, and they are dishonest in what they are saying whether it is because they are really stupid, mean, or just innocently uninformed! Please keep this positive, so all of us can feel happy, have a good time, and the filipinas can feel valued for who they are.
He was the haves, and we are the have nots! We do okay though, and the Lord is with us!Our good friend had this mental set that his filipina and her extended family was going to take advantage of him. He told me before they were married that he was not going to send one thin dime to any of them! Guess what, they have been married now, and happily married for 10 or more years, and he hired that family to build a new house for them in the Philippines, and he continues to pay them to maintain it, guard it, and keep it safe. He is also very generous. He was just afraid as many are that he might be taken advantage of, but he told me not long ago that they are his people, he loves them, they do things for him and his filipina, and he is glad to do what he can to help them. When he goes to visit them, he gives a large sack of rice to each family, except a younger brother and wife, and they are more wealthy than most of us are. Her filipina families make him very happy, and they make him very happy as well, and I can't think of any other way anyone would want it to be. I was with them all in the years 2010 for 2 weeks, the honeymoon was over with all of them as it had been 8 years or so that they had been married, and there were still good feeling, everyone loved each other, and no one took advantage of anyone!
As I have said before I have seen in my experience two who had a bad ride from the filipina wife, but in my family and friends there are a whole bunch for whom it has been and continues to be wonderful!
I will have to be honest, that it makes me angry when people get on here, bash filipinas, and make it seem that all of them are ready to do wrong to some poor western guy! Sorry for saying this, but these people have their nerve, and they are dishonest in what they are saying whether it is because they are really stupid, mean, or just innocently uninformed! Please keep this positive, so all of us can feel happy, have a good time, and the filipinas can feel valued for who they are.
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Edwin - Posts: 5123
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Re: Searching for my man
by Gary2310 » Mon May 20, 2013 10:42 am
I think it's important to clarify a few points...
The Philippine people are, without a doubt, known to be some of the most peace-loving and caring people in the world, and their sense of hospitality truly exemplifies their warm and loving hearts.
Philippine women are known not only for their exquisite physical beauty, but also for a beauty they possess that goes beyond the senses...Strong family values, independence and individuality blended with more traditional nurturing traits.
Having said this, some of the observations made about many Filipinas looking for foreigner husbands as a way to better their lives and the lives of their families are accurate. It's part of their culture. And, for most of them, there is NO intent to deceive or take advantage of some unsuspecting guy under the pretense of love. What I'm saying here is that the majority of the Filipinas looking for foreigner husbands do so with the idea that love, financial security, faithfulness, concern for family, love for children, etc. all go together.
It shouldn't be too hard to understand where the family loyalty comes from. If you grew up in a family with 3, 4, or 5 siblings and your parents, or single parent as the case may be, worked very hard their whole lives to feed and clothe and educate you and your siblings, it should be a natural feeling to want to "give back" some of that in the way of financial assistance to help your aging parents live a little better. Sadly, in American culture, this is not the norm. And so, for many western guys, the concept of being obligated to help support in-laws is something they are just not familiar with. And, I really believe that it's the "obligated" part that many guys have a problem with. Most western guys, I believe, would naturally want to help family that was in need, especially a family that welcomed them into their lives and treated them with love and respect. It's human nature, when you feel loved and connected to people, you naturally want to help those that are need.
So, just to be clear, I think that many Fil-Am relationships are built on love and on an understanding of each partner's culture. And, I think the reason why it seems like there are many instances where Filipinas marry foreign guys strictly for money, or for a green card, or any other of the negative reasons, is because it's human nature to talk "loudly" about the bad and to be quiet about the good.
Now, that's not to say that there aren't Filipinas that are just interested in a foreign guy's money, because there are, for sure. Just as there are American women and European women, and women all across the globe looking to marry a guy just for money. But, these are the exception and not the rule. I do believe, however, that the desperate life situations that exist in the PHI encourage those Filipinas that may be morally compromised and, therefore, are willing to try and capitalize on two of the most driving human emotions, that is, love and the need to have companionship. But, again, these are the exception and not the rule.
Above all, what's important is communication and education. We all need to understand the realities that exist so that we can avoid those people that wish to take advantage of us. But, at the same time, we want to be able to pursue enjoyment in life, and so we can't allow ourselves to be too cynical. Cautious yes, absolutely. And, it's not really difficult to do. It's not that difficult to be perceptive and to "read between the lines". A little common sense goes along way to keeping all of us out of trouble. For example, a young 20-something Filipina looking for a foreigner husband of "any age" is probably not looking for love. Will this be true in every case? No, of course not. But, certainly, in the majority of cases it will be true.
It's important to note that it's unfair to generalize traits and tendencies of a whole group based on the actions of a few. I'll share with you all that I am Sicilian-American. Meaning that I was born and raised in the U.S., but my family originates from Sicily. Many people, incorrectly, believe that Sicilian culture is the same as Italian culture. It is not. Nationally, my family is Italian, but culturally we are Sicilian. And, many who hear the term 'Sicilain' immediately identify with what Hollywood depicts all Sicilians to be, that is, members of organized crime families. This couldn't be any further from the truth. The vast majority of Sicilians are peace-loving people, with a deep sense of family and of God. The majority of Sicilian men have strong family values, are faithful to the women in their lives, and treat women (all women) with the utmost respect. Hollywood, however, would have the world believe something completely different about Sicilians. So, you see, it's unfair to generalize.
It is important, however, to be well informed. And, that's what this forum is (or should be) about. We need to be able to talk about real life issues in a respectful and, yet, accurate way. That's how we learn, by exchanging ideas. Everyone's thoughts and ideas are important because they inform us about the human spirit. Differences of opinions are OK and, in fact, they are healthy because they challenge our own sensibilities and encourage us to re-evaluate how we perceive life.
Best to all!
The Philippine people are, without a doubt, known to be some of the most peace-loving and caring people in the world, and their sense of hospitality truly exemplifies their warm and loving hearts.
Philippine women are known not only for their exquisite physical beauty, but also for a beauty they possess that goes beyond the senses...Strong family values, independence and individuality blended with more traditional nurturing traits.
Having said this, some of the observations made about many Filipinas looking for foreigner husbands as a way to better their lives and the lives of their families are accurate. It's part of their culture. And, for most of them, there is NO intent to deceive or take advantage of some unsuspecting guy under the pretense of love. What I'm saying here is that the majority of the Filipinas looking for foreigner husbands do so with the idea that love, financial security, faithfulness, concern for family, love for children, etc. all go together.
It shouldn't be too hard to understand where the family loyalty comes from. If you grew up in a family with 3, 4, or 5 siblings and your parents, or single parent as the case may be, worked very hard their whole lives to feed and clothe and educate you and your siblings, it should be a natural feeling to want to "give back" some of that in the way of financial assistance to help your aging parents live a little better. Sadly, in American culture, this is not the norm. And so, for many western guys, the concept of being obligated to help support in-laws is something they are just not familiar with. And, I really believe that it's the "obligated" part that many guys have a problem with. Most western guys, I believe, would naturally want to help family that was in need, especially a family that welcomed them into their lives and treated them with love and respect. It's human nature, when you feel loved and connected to people, you naturally want to help those that are need.
So, just to be clear, I think that many Fil-Am relationships are built on love and on an understanding of each partner's culture. And, I think the reason why it seems like there are many instances where Filipinas marry foreign guys strictly for money, or for a green card, or any other of the negative reasons, is because it's human nature to talk "loudly" about the bad and to be quiet about the good.
Now, that's not to say that there aren't Filipinas that are just interested in a foreign guy's money, because there are, for sure. Just as there are American women and European women, and women all across the globe looking to marry a guy just for money. But, these are the exception and not the rule. I do believe, however, that the desperate life situations that exist in the PHI encourage those Filipinas that may be morally compromised and, therefore, are willing to try and capitalize on two of the most driving human emotions, that is, love and the need to have companionship. But, again, these are the exception and not the rule.
Above all, what's important is communication and education. We all need to understand the realities that exist so that we can avoid those people that wish to take advantage of us. But, at the same time, we want to be able to pursue enjoyment in life, and so we can't allow ourselves to be too cynical. Cautious yes, absolutely. And, it's not really difficult to do. It's not that difficult to be perceptive and to "read between the lines". A little common sense goes along way to keeping all of us out of trouble. For example, a young 20-something Filipina looking for a foreigner husband of "any age" is probably not looking for love. Will this be true in every case? No, of course not. But, certainly, in the majority of cases it will be true.
It's important to note that it's unfair to generalize traits and tendencies of a whole group based on the actions of a few. I'll share with you all that I am Sicilian-American. Meaning that I was born and raised in the U.S., but my family originates from Sicily. Many people, incorrectly, believe that Sicilian culture is the same as Italian culture. It is not. Nationally, my family is Italian, but culturally we are Sicilian. And, many who hear the term 'Sicilain' immediately identify with what Hollywood depicts all Sicilians to be, that is, members of organized crime families. This couldn't be any further from the truth. The vast majority of Sicilians are peace-loving people, with a deep sense of family and of God. The majority of Sicilian men have strong family values, are faithful to the women in their lives, and treat women (all women) with the utmost respect. Hollywood, however, would have the world believe something completely different about Sicilians. So, you see, it's unfair to generalize.
It is important, however, to be well informed. And, that's what this forum is (or should be) about. We need to be able to talk about real life issues in a respectful and, yet, accurate way. That's how we learn, by exchanging ideas. Everyone's thoughts and ideas are important because they inform us about the human spirit. Differences of opinions are OK and, in fact, they are healthy because they challenge our own sensibilities and encourage us to re-evaluate how we perceive life.
Best to all!
- Gary2310
- Posts: 24
- Joined: Tue Nov 27, 2012 10:49 am
Re: Searching for my man
by Smiley » Mon May 20, 2013 11:53 am
It is not unfair to recognize that a spectrum of people would represent a spectrum of viewpoints on any subject,this one included.
What I see to be ridiculous is The ongoing attempts of one person,under a number of persona,beating the subject to death.This person has been banned from a number of forums but keeps returning under different names to try to stir things up and pick fights.What this sad excuse of a person hopes to gain from this is beyond me,perhaps we should all feel sorry for someone whose life is so empty that inventing a plethora of online identities to compliment each other seems like a reasonable way to spend his time.To be a serial troll is not something to be proud of.
I think that every point that needs to be made on this subject has been made,the smart thing to do would be to let it rest.Sadly there are those among us that are not exactly famous for doing the smart thing.
What I see to be ridiculous is The ongoing attempts of one person,under a number of persona,beating the subject to death.This person has been banned from a number of forums but keeps returning under different names to try to stir things up and pick fights.What this sad excuse of a person hopes to gain from this is beyond me,perhaps we should all feel sorry for someone whose life is so empty that inventing a plethora of online identities to compliment each other seems like a reasonable way to spend his time.To be a serial troll is not something to be proud of.
I think that every point that needs to be made on this subject has been made,the smart thing to do would be to let it rest.Sadly there are those among us that are not exactly famous for doing the smart thing.
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- Location: Canada
Re: Searching for my man
by DannyJones » Mon May 20, 2013 3:15 pm
Smiley you never named the subject, could you identify the subject you refer to?
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Re: Searching for my man
by DannyJones » Thu May 23, 2013 12:34 pm
wayne208 wrote:When My Cousin Married his wife from Cebu . He was very Surprised to Learn that the Father-in-Law expected Money every Month .. My Cousin said that He figured on sending him Money at Christmas But that was it . The father then tried either The every Month or No Marriage Trick . So My Cousin Called his Bluff and said Fine I will fine another Lady in Cebu or Bohol . My Cousin then Stopped seeing the Really Nice Lady who He Loved . He then was seen at the beach talking to different Ladies all the time . Needless to say The Father in Law Told My Cousin He could Marry his Daughter if he Paid Him 4 times a year 500 dollars . My Cousin Knew that the Father was gambling so He said No . What the Father and the rest of the family did not know was that The Girl was seeing My Cousin almost every day .Sometimes through a Trusted Friend or one of her Sisters . She was telling Him What to say . In The End My Cousin gives His Wife's Family 500 Dollars every Christmas . And he is Now the Favorite Son in Law . So Yes I know that Most families want Money every Month But I also Know they will take it once a Year at Christmas Time . I have been invited to Meet My Cousin's Family as She has 3 Sister's still Unmarried .They range in age from 18 -30 . I am Single so I doubt I would come back without a Girl Friend or More .
Yes, situations like this, or similar situations, are very common. Not really anybody's fault, just big differences in cultures. But certainly best this issue be openly discussed by filipina and western man because financial support obligation to filipino family is one of biggest problems in the relationship.
Last edited by DannyJones on Sat May 25, 2013 8:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- DannyJones
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Re: Searching for my man
by Edwin » Fri May 24, 2013 12:14 am
Eillene wrote:Responsible and faithfull man
Yes, Eillene, that is what God is looking for also, are people who are responsible, and people who are faithful! Many times the natural is a picture of the spiritual. The marriage between a young man and a young lady is a picture of the heavenly where Jesus is the bridegroom, and we are His bride. That is one of the reasons marriage is so important; it is a picture of the heavenly. That is one of the reasons that purity is so important, is that the bride of Christ will be without blemish, without spot and wrinkle. Christ as the bridegroom is faithful to the church, His wife, and we as his bride are to be faithful to Him!
Matthew 25: 23, which is much the same as verse 21;, "His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord."
Eillene, I hope and pray as I do for others that you will find someone who will be worthy of you! Then that will be good for everyone. There is a lot that someone like you can contribute, if only someone else can realize your value!
I have seen a lot of good things happen for people that I have connections with from the Philippines, and it makes me feel happy to know that there are actually good things that happen. The person who started this jaderune.com, who is now dead from cancer, found his special person in the Philippnes, married in the Philippines, came back to Texas, had a child, lived so happily until cancer got the best of him, and his filipina wife was faithful to him to the very end! He started this site, jaderune.com to match his filipina wife's family, friends, and relatives with interested western guys who were interested in having a faithful and loving wife, and there have been many success stories come from it. I am happy that this is possble for good people to be matched with each and have happy lives together!
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Edwin - Posts: 5123
- Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:38 pm
Re: Searching for my man
by mystic » Sat May 25, 2013 3:36 am
DannyJones, are you from New Jersey? Looks nice there. Can you PM me your town? It seems that the address from where you connect is in a red list. So, to make sure your account won't be deleted by the forum rules, I have to enable your town in the reverse lookup. Thanks.
opm.tornevall.org scanned ,working ,abusive ,anonymous
opm.tornevall.org scanned ,working ,abusive ,anonymous
"The real opposite of love is not hate, but indifference" (Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz)
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mystic - Posts: 413
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Re: Searching for my man
by mystic » Sat May 25, 2013 3:42 am
Oh, same for Gary2310. Are you from New York? Your address is blacklisted in 5 red lists, despite is seems a regular dynamic connection. Could you please PM me your exact location? Thank you.
pbl.spamhaus.org
zen.spamhaus.org
safe.dnsbl.sorbs.net
dnsbl.sorbs.net
dul.dnsbl.sorbs.net
pbl.spamhaus.org
zen.spamhaus.org
safe.dnsbl.sorbs.net
dnsbl.sorbs.net
dul.dnsbl.sorbs.net
"The real opposite of love is not hate, but indifference" (Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz)
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mystic - Posts: 413
- Joined: Wed Sep 26, 2012 5:47 am
Re: Searching for my man
by DannyJones » Sat May 25, 2013 8:30 pm
mystic wrote:DannyJones, are you from New Jersey? Looks nice there. Can you PM me your town? It seems that the address from where you connect is in a red list. So, to make sure your account won't be deleted by the forum rules, I have to enable your town in the reverse lookup. Thanks.
opm.tornevall.org scanned ,working ,abusive ,anonymous
I live on-board a 35 sailboat so do not have a home-town.
- DannyJones
- Posts: 16
- Joined: Wed Apr 10, 2013 4:50 pm
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