Trial and error

[Junai]

Okay, so guys this is my first time here. So I guess this is kinda trial for me.
But, what I want to start with in this forum is about "mistakes" in the past and learning how to deal with them in order for you to move on.
Question:When meeting a new love, how important is someone's past? Must both of you be honest and open about each other's history no matter how bad or embarrassing it is?
I have been thinking, the journey to meet someone requires the leaving behind your past especially when there was a real good reason from then why you are looking for a new love now in the first place. When we meet the new love, should we tell that someone about it? I guess this topic has been discussed already, but if not yet,
Thoughts? Anyone? Thanks!

[Edwin]

Junai, we are glad that you have come on here to post! Keep coming back. At one time, Junai, it was a first time for all of us, and we were just trying it out. All of us have made mistakes in our past, and we all have regrets about something. How honest to be is a good question. I think it is always best to be honest and tell all no matter how embarrassing. It might not be wise to share too much personal information at first thought, before getting to trust the other person, and then you will soon know how much information it is safe to share. It might be wise to tell the other person what has happened, but I have heard that sharing too much information, or going on and on about an ex could be a relation killer. Others here no doubt have some good information about this also.

[Chas]

You may want to leave your past behind, but your past may not want to leave you and will sneak up on you and surprise you when you least expect it

As a simple rule of thumb, your partner should know everything such that he/she will never be in a position where they are surprised or humiliated if the past does sneak up on you both.

Needless to say there is no need to tell all on the first date. Take it slow as your trust in each other builds over time.

[Edwin]

You are right, Chas, about taking care of anything that might come back around to haunt a person, and it does when least expected. I started driving school bus about 10 years ago. Actually I got certified to drive school bus, made a few runs, then I moved to a National Park where I drove tourists through the mountains, on some pretty scarey roads. It was funny because one of my fellow drivers taught two our daughters in the fifth grade. He was a wonderful guy, and he is the one I drove for on his school route here in the valley. It was kind of funny because he was an expert down on the highway and through the towns, but when he was driving with me through the mountains he was out of his element, and he was scared to death part of the time, as those roads were very narrow, only allowing one vehicle, and when two would meet someone would have to pull over or back up. Often the road was along the water or on a steep hillside. It was frightening even for some of the people who lived there to meet a bus on some of those roads, but interestingly enough that did not intimidate me. One woman told me that riding with me she was never so scared in all her life; it was just like riding buses in South America. Well, I wasn't afraid of anything, and it usually always turned out good. I almost forgot why I started telling this long story, but there is a point. The school bus driving supervisor told all of us at a school bus driver's workshop, that if anyone got into an accident, not necessarily with a bus, but any accident, or any traffic violation, he wanted to hear about it from them, not from the law enforcement.

So if there is anything that might come back to haunt you, it is wise to lay it all out, and then there will be no unpleasant surprises.