Learning to Forgive - Forgiveness is Not Inherent
Learning to forgive implies that forgiveness is a learned process, not an automatic response. Our sinful nature (our flesh) has a high resistance to laying offenses aside. It prefers to take on an offense and use the energy that the offense brings with it, in every negative way. Every part of our un-renewed mind, our carnal mind, has a preference to take on an offense and a propensity to hold grudges, and seek its own sense of justice. Within the carnal mind, retaliation is most often not an option, but rather it's a driving force, it has to get even! Our flesh, unrenewed, unbridled, lacking illumination and understanding, prefers to be judge, jury, and executioner of the offender even when that offender is our own self.
Learning to forgive - Christ Based
Learning to forgive can only be fully achieved after we have accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, otherwise we are simply acting according to our flesh. While we can learn to "forgive and forget" on a carnal level, as a good deed, but true forgiveness comes from the Spirit of Christ within us. Until our mind is renewed, until we are enlightened by His Holy Spirit, there remains a resistance, an enmity between us and God that will govern our every decision (Romans 12:2, Titus 3:3-5).