Looking for friendship or soulmate

[crisipicada]

I understand what you mean but my friend Glenda is ready to move on. Shes battered wife. Her husband is already cohabiting another woman and proud to say that my friend is decent than this mistress. So right now shes working hard and abroad soon. Shes happy now and shes communicating with wolftone who is also separated. So goodluck to both of them. Whether relationship goes romantic both are working out to dissolve each respective marriage legally.

Red, I really wanted to reply on this matter before I will be out in this forum to focus on something I really wanted to do.

I understand now, and also I do not want to argue about this matter. What I am trying to say is that, the woman or man should not be the reason or be part that he or she must divorce. There should no other involvement with other party so that they will finally legally separated or divorce. Let the Lord speak to their hearts why they must divorce.

What I am trying to say is that, first and foremost, let the Lord speak to their hearts first that they must settle their respective lives that without any third party involve. And if they are really meant for each other, after they have been legally separated or divorce, then it is the time to move on to another stage of relationship. In my opinion and belief, there should be no relationship created since they are still married for the first place because this is the right thing to do.

They can talk that they will pursue more than friends if they are done with their marriage with the other guy or girl.

I just really hope that all will be okay for them and I for sure always desire all of you to be happy.

It is good to eat apple when it is in the right time it is ripe already. It is not good to eat apple ones it is not yet ripe, it taste bitter, I guess or not good in flavor.

Thus, the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing.

[red]

Thanks crisi. its up to glenda. She made up her mind already. Her husband left her for another woman and she cant take it anymore pain and physical injuries her husband did to her. As they said why prolong the agony if your partner no longer wants and love you.
Anyways, she moved on and her husband wants annulment too. She did all just to make her husband change but it only got worse that she became battered wife.

[erwin]

I understand what you mean but my friend Glenda is ready to move on. Shes battered wife. Her husband is already cohabiting another woman and proud to say that my friend is decent than this mistress. So right now shes working hard and abroad soon. Shes happy now and shes communicating with wolftone who is also separated. So goodluck to both of them. Whether relationship goes romantic both are working out to dissolve each respective marriage legally.

Red, I really wanted to reply on this matter before I will be out in this forum to focus on something I really wanted to do.

I understand now, and also I do not want to argue about this matter. What I am trying to say is that, the woman or man should not be the reason or be part that he or she must divorce. There should no other involvement with other party so that they will finally legally separated or divorce. Let the Lord speak to their hearts why they must divorce.

What I am trying to say is that, first and foremost, let the Lord speak to their hearts first that they must settle their respective lives that without any third party involve. And if they are really meant for each other, after they have been legally separated or divorce, then it is the time to move on to another stage of relationship. In my opinion and belief, there should be no relationship created since they are still married for the first place because this is the right thing to do.

They can talk that they will pursue more than friends if they are done with their marriage with the other guy or girl.

I just really hope that all will be okay for them and I for sure always desire all of you to be happy.

It is good to eat apple when it is in the right time it is ripe already. It is not good to eat apple ones it is not yet ripe, it taste bitter, I guess or not good in flavor.

Thus, the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing.

I would not treat my wife, if ever I have one, like an animal. I treasure woman's heart. It is when she cry you will know that she loves the man. Woman's heart are to take care of and not to hurt for any reason.

[Edwin]

The battered wife thing is really close to home here! Our youngest daughter was married 3 times, and each of them were no much good. Her first husband, the father of her two beautiful daughters, punched holes all through their house when he was angry. He also threatened to kill her, and he is still telling people he would like to kill her. Her second husband was a good guy in many ways, but things deteriorated and he became violent, beating the kids' cat to death. He also had the one daughter, under aged in bed with him once. We don't think he did anything to her other than that, but when he did that he crossed the line. He also made smart remarks about raping that daughter, and that is when our daughter figured that she needed to get away from him. The 3rd husband was a nice guy when he wasn't drunk or on drugs. There is too much to tell here, but during the 2 years they were married, he beat the daylights out of her on numerous occasions. During one of the beatings he threatened to kill her, and she ran from him, putting the car in the ditch, she was so hysterical. After a few days she and I went to get him, so that she could sober him up. I got into trouble with our other daughter for bringing him to our house, because of his violence. The last beating that he gave her he almost killed her. That beating lasted I think about 12 hours, as she ran from him, stayed with his aunt all night, then in the morning he caught up with her and continued to beat her. He tried to shoot her with a deer rifle, but she had already removed the bullets, so he beat her with the stock of the gun, and then kicked her with his boots. It was just God that delivered her. She got the grandpa's phone, and he knocked it out of her hand, but before he knocked it out of her hand, she hit the redial button, and we were the last people called by the phone, so it dialed us. He shut the phone off, so we didn't get to talk, but Carol called back, and he got scared and told her that she better get out of there. There are more details about her escape, but you can just imagine someone running from someone else trying to kill you, and you have the story. Well, he is now facing up to 12 years in Federal Prison for what he did. She wasn't even going to turn him in, but some of his family and an Indian Tribal Police Officer talked her into turning him in, because our daughter is not the first woman he has done that to, and they wanted to get him where he could be helped, and also protect other women from this kind of abuse. We are very thankful that God delivered her from these people, and now she is safe!

[Edwin]

I think I understand what Crisi is saying. It is important for the couple involved to finish their relationship/marriage, by divorce, or in the Philippines annulement. Even though the couple intends to finish it, and both of them are agreed, it could get pretty messy with 3 people involved. The person interested in the young lady could get into bad trouble if things did not go correctly. The husband has the ability to cause a lot of trouble, and the law would be on his side. So I think that if 2 people are going after each other, then they should be free and available to marry, and not have to try to fix things so that they can be free to marry. So, I think probably we are all agreed that there is a right way, and a right time to get involved in a romantic relationship that hopefully will lead to marriage. Both people need to be free to marry, and not have a 3rd person involved.

[red]

Sure is wrong to morals. But it is my friends choice now. In phils. annulment takes time to get done esp if money is scarce. May caught of having another relationship whiile marriage is on process of dissolving. But there ways to make it shorter though. Dont want to judge her wrong but i wont deprive of what makes her happy. She has a right and it certainly is not my business to meddle her life although we didnt lack of giving her advices.

[Edwin]

Yes, I understand that, Red, and I know your stand on it also. I know that it is your friend's choice, and you can't regulate your friend's life. I don't know a lot about annulment as divorce is more common in the USA. I have heard about annulments taking place here in this country as well, but I don't know much about them. Here I think the annulment is mainly for a couple who changed their minds after getting married, but hadn't had sex yet. In the Philippines I understand that there are a number of reasons a person can get an annulment. It is a slow process, huh? It is even slower if you don't have a lot of money, because I understand there are a lot of people who want to be paid off before they will agree to participate in the annulment process, is that not correct? I guess people in this situation want to have it be shorter if at all possible, huh?

[red]

Glenda worked as our therapist before so i know her well. She always asked our advices we been praying that their relationship can go right. Her husband is a drug addict and she was threatened to be killed. It scared her alot. So she went home to her mama. I offered her job for abroad she is now on process doing it. She needs money to file for annulment its her way to save money. Currently shes communicating with wolftone both are separated. I think she has the right to communicate with other man even as friends. I dont think theres wrong with that. Anyway, shes happy for now. Her job is priority now so she can get away from her monster husband legally.

[red]

I heard some have to pay their husband so they can get annuled and free to marry foreigner. Thats old story here. The short way i was trying to say is according to the law. If it happens that you have not seen nor talk your partner for maximum of 7 years it can be declared as dead. Just an assumption as dead. Thats what most are doing here now. But my friend's situation being a battered wife is a strong ground for anulment can ask the judge esp if family friend judge to faster the process.

[Edwin]

Yes, to be friends is fine. If he is a drug addict and threatened to kill her, it is a good thing she got away from him! Like I wrote on the other post that is close to home for us as we have delt with that same situation, and it can be very scary. Part of the family supported our daughter for getting away, protecting herself, turning him in, pressing charges, and some other members of the family do not support her, and think he should be protected at all costs. I am very sorry for what is happening to him, but I am very sorry also for what he did to our daughter for 2 years! It is not unreasonable for him to have to pay, even if it means Federal Prison for 12 years, which it looks like is what is going to happen.