tess wrote:yeah i thought too... but for me if i treat my ex nicely its not that i want something from him but also because he has been part of my life. and i wanna treasure that friendship.
"For me if I have unsuccessful relationship, even though I was really hurt by him I still want to be friend with that ex lover.. But I don't understand why he don't like it when we part ways for good and no bitterness.." quote= tess
This can be somewhat complicated, and everyone sees this differently. From what I have seen there seems to be more animosity early on when the break up is fresh. Usually there is a lot of unhappiness for what ever reason that causes the breakup. I have seen some separated couples become friends later, even after a lot of bitterness. Tess, I can understand your thoughts that you want to treasure the friendship that you had. It sounds like your ex doesn't understand things the way you do. You want to be sentimental, it seems, and your ex doesn't see it exactly that way. I hope for the sake of old times, that you can get together with each other without troubled feelings!
My cousin married pretty much out of high school. They had two daughters, and a very stormy short marriage. There was some violence involved. It is usually the male that is violent to the female, but in this case the female was abusive. Anyway they parted ways. My cousin got remarried, and had a few years with his second wife. She had a stroke, became handicapped, confined to a wheel chair, and moved with her daughter for her to take care of the mother. My cousin got really sick and died. At the funeral the first wife got up to talk at the funeral, and I think some of our relatives wanted to die! She started out by saying that she knew that no one there wanted her to talk, but she was going to say what was on her mind, and she did, much to the horror of the people in attendance. After the funeral the second wife went home and died shortly after. Now the first wife, and the two daughters are all that remain of that family. It was a very sad ending. I think that is why our daughter said that she didn't like it when they opened up the funeral for anyone to talk and comment who wanted to do that!