by fenmoor » Fri Jun 22, 2012 9:29 pm
Just thought I would throw my 2 cents in about seeing someone when you are not quite divorced.
Here in the US, it is not so hard to get a divorce, especially if both parties agree. So when we look at the situation from our stand point, it is a bit skewed from the typical Filipina in an abusive relationship. Especially when the woman has been deserted and left for another. If she cannot afford an Annulment, is she suppose to stay alone forever? Simply because she cannot afford to make the law do what morally it should?
In my mind the WORD is about the heart. The LORD knows your heart. I think you can do the right thing and it still be a sin, because your heart is in the wrong place.
As an example, I place me front and center. My wife left me and my 3 children March 2011. During the next 6 months I tried to reconcile with her, even supporting her in her new home, while we tried to work things out. Little did I know at the time, she was seeing another man as well. She was just using me for my money... But I still supported her when I found out because she was my wife and I made a vow.
Now, then it started with the children. At one point she took my children into drug houses, she hit my eldest in the face several times, before I could intervene and she started to "play" the girls against each other. Now I had a problem. I had to stay true to my Vow or I had to stay true to my role as father and protect my children from their mother.
So I (YES ME) filed for a divorce. The man that HATES divorce filed for it. AND I THINK IT IS A SIN! But if I must be damned for protecting my children, then so be it. I had a choice to make and I made it. As a matter of fact, the woman lost her custody and visitation rights and has not seen the girls in months. Good riddance.
That said, I remained true to my vow to Suzanne. I did not date, or even really talk exclusively to another woman even after the divorce. You see I believe that there are biblical reason for a divorce, with adultery being one of them. So I stayed by myself and looked after my girls. Then in December my ex had her boyfriend fly to Alabama from California. I was pretty certain that she committed adultery during that trip as she spent the entire time in his hotel room. But I did not know for certain, so I remained true to my vow.
Then she married him in January. At this point, I divorced her in my heart. She had then committed the sin of adultery and I had grounds for a biblical divorce. It was then that I began entertaining interest from women again. So I see sin as a heart issue.
Did I sin when I got a LEGAL divorce? I do not think so, because i never got a divorce in my heart and kept that vow as best I could while also protecting my children. The advantage I have over Glenda is that I can get one easily and cheaply. Well not so cheap as I had to give her lots to get rid of her, but you get what I am saying. If I had been living in the Philippines I would STILL be married. My ex would still have committed a sin that Jesus said was grounds for divorce, but I could not obtain one legally.
BUT I do not see the Word of God as an instruction manual for your actions. I see it as an instruction manual for your heart. The truth without love is nothing. Almost all of the time, the actions and the heart will match up, but there are unique situations that appear every once in a while that need to be met with love and understanding.
If Glenda was in the US, she would already have her divorce, as she has grounds for it and has divorced him in her heart as well. Does the State have the right to determine when someone sins? That is what is happening here. The Republic of the Philippines has determined that Glenda cannot get a divorce and they have made an annulment impossible for her... Other than that, she has every ground for a biblical divorce. So are we to say that because the government will not allow it, it overrules GOD'S WORD?!?! May it never be.
So while I think Glenda is not divorced in the eyes of the government, I believe she IS divorced in the eyes of God. I will continue to try and do what the WORD says, but I will not allow civil forces to pervert and usurp God's Law. After all, in America it is civil law that abortion is legal, but in God's law it most certainly is not. Should I allow God's Law to be usurped by civil law and say it is ok to have an abortion? May it never be!
God's law is God's law and Man's laws be damned. Glenda has fulfilled God's law for a divorce and I say GOOD LUCK TO YOU GLENDA! I hope you find someone that makes you so happy that you cannot sleep at night! AND MAY HE NEVER LAY A HAND ON YOU IN ANYTHING OTHER THAN LOVE!
God bless you all.