Fiancee or Marriage in the Philippines?

[jane50]

Divorce is a pretty complicated action. It is more complicated for me because of my belief and standards. From early childhood we were taught that divorce was wrong. Jesus said that Moses granted the writing of divorcement because of the hardness of people' hearts. Any time there is a divorce one of the parties has a hard heart and unfeeling. I don't buy the idea that both people in a divorce are right to have a divorce. One might be right, and the other will be wrong. In our church organization we actually looked down on people who were divorced as a general rule. But some of our relatives were in that situation. My great aunt and great uncle were both divorced and remarried to each other, and they were the most godly people I have ever know. I think they were sorry for their past and God forgave them. They got married to each other each having a previous marriage before they were Christians, then they gave their hearts to the Lord and lived wonderful Christian lives, the rest of their lives. Our church organization took a strong stand against divorce. No one was allowed to hold church office, be a Sunday School teacher, or any other position in the church if they had been divorced. As a credentialed minister I was not allowed, in the early years, this changed later, to perform a wedding ceremony for any couple who had a previous wedding. Though the years I had a lot of people angry with me because the first question I asked them when they wanted me to perform a ceremony for them, "Have either of you been married before?" If the answer was yes, then I told them, "I am sorry but I can't perform your wedding ceremony." The organization changed their rules after a number of years, and then I could perform for them, and I did. I'm sure there are some credentialed ministers with this organization who still will not perform a ceremony for anyone having a previous marriage. In our organization a minister could still minister after having been divorced, but they were not allowed to remarry ever. There was another Pentecostal organization that allowed divorced and remarried people to minister, and we kind of looked down on them, as if their standards were lower. Well, now that has changed, and if a person was divorced no fault of their own, then they can be remarried and minister. For example if the wife committed adultery, divorce was allowed, and the man was allowed to remarry and still minister. IF the wife would say to her husband, "I am finished with you, good bye," then she would divorce him, he would be allowed to remarry, and continue to be a minister in our organization. Carol said that if any man ever hit her she would be gone, and I don't blame her for that attitude, and I don't think that God would blame her either. No one needs to be hit by someone claiming to love. If someone gets beaten until they might die, they should separate, and get divorced. Often the ones who stay, or the ones who keep returning to an abusive mate end up getting killed, and it happens over and over again. If someone beats you the first time, leave and don't look back.

Jane, I think there is always a chance. Just live according to God's will, seek the Lord, and see what happens.

Friend, I felt I am being abandoned by God and I don't know which way to tread now..

[Edwin]

Jane, don't lose hope or give up, because God will help you. He will not abandon you. All of us tend from time to time to get discouraged and down hearted, and that is natural, as we are humans with weaknesses, but God will see us through. We just have to keep faith in Him and His promises. He promises never to leave us or forsake us. He will be there and is there to guide us. Don't be discouraged, because God will make a way where there seems to be no way. God's eye is on the sparrow, and He watches over us. He is concerned about us. We tend to feel low sometimes because we are tired, or we are not feeling well, but God is still there with us.

[jane50]

Jane, don't lose hope or give up, because God will help you. He will not abandon you. All of us tend from time to time to get discouraged and down hearted, and that is natural, as we are humans with weaknesses, but God will see us through. We just have to keep faith in Him and His promises. He promises never to leave us or forsake us. He will be there and is there to guide us. Don't be discouraged, because God will make a way where there seems to be no way. God's eye is on the sparrow, and He watches over us. He is concerned about us. We tend to feel low sometimes because we are tired, or we are not feeling well, but God is still there with us.

Thanks a lot for keeping my spirit alive and will keep you posted if ever that time comes, friend.

[Edwin]

You are welcome, Jane! There is a song, "There is Hope for the Hopeless in Jesus." The Bible describes us without God, as being without hope. But we do have hope in Jesus. We make Jesus our friend, and He will help us. We have hope of eternal life in this life and then in the life to come. We give ourselves over to the Lord, and then He helps us. There is another song, "No One Can Cheer the Heart like Jesus." Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you. We who know the Lord live according to His promises, and we have hope in this life and in the life to come.

[crisipicada]

I have a friend who is married to a German. She stay over the Philippines for 4 years since they got married here in the Philippines. Others also stayed over the Philippines for five (5) years because they got married here. Why is it so hard for them to go with their respective husbands when they got married here?

In the case of marrying in their future husband's place, how will they process their visa? I have another friend who is worried about applying for fiancee visa since she is really no how. Anyone can share what they did with their filipina woman? Can anyone also share their idea why choose fiancee visa and got married in the foreign place the marrying here in the Philippines?

[Edwin]

I am not sure of all the reasons why it takes that long to go with the husband to his country. One thing that has to happen is that the husband or the fiance has to prove that he can support his fiancee or wife when bringing her to his country. He must prove that he makes 125 % above the poverty level, or a little over $18,000 each year. If he can't do that then he has to get a co-sponsor to sign with him, telling the government that he/she will be responsible to see that the person coming will not get on meanse tested benefits. When there are no problems it is supposed to go fairly quickly, like within a year or so. The fiancee visa is the quickest way into the country, but there are more hoops to jump through once in the country. The marriage visa takes a little longer, but once the young lady comes into the country more of the paper work is completed, and she can do more things. With the marriage visa the person can work right away, travel, and other things, while with the fiancess visa she can't work or travel out of the country until the adjustment of status.

[red]

I have a friend who is married to a German. She stay over the Philippines for 4 years since they got married here in the Philippines. Others also stayed over the Philippines for five (5) years because they got married here. Why is it so hard for them to go with their respective husbands when they got married here?

In the case of marrying in their future husband's place, how will they process their visa? I have another friend who is worried about applying for fiancee visa since she is really no how. Anyone can share what they did with their filipina woman? Can anyone also share their idea why choose fiancee visa and got married in the foreign place the marrying here in the Philippines?

Fiancee is faster than spouse visa...but this is for US visas. Try visajourney.com or go to USCIS website or US Embassy Manila Website. We are on Spouse visa its more complicated than fiancee visa.

[red]

Thanks to Marissa. She is the one that told me about visajourney it is indeed very helpful website.

[Edwin]

You are correct, Red, in that the Spousal visa is more complicated, but when you are finished with that you are finished, where as with the fiancee visa when you arrive in the USA you are only beginning your journey, and you have lots of things that have to be done after that. Everyone has different ideas about this, and one kind of visa is good or some people, and another kind of visa is good for other people. It all depends on your circumstances and how you want to do it. Visajourney is great for giving you all the angles and helping you decide what is best for you. There are lots of stories there about people who are going through the process, and what they think about it all. I read if for a while just for the fun of it, but I haven't been reading it for a while as I am not going through the process, so it doesn't have a lot of meaning for me, except just the entertainment of knowing what is happening to other people who are in the process. It is a good site with lots of good information. They will answer your questions and provide guidance as you are going through the process, and that will make it happen faster and smoother for you, so I recommend it.

[Smiley]

I have been divorced for 15 years now. Having said that ,it might sound strange to hear me say that I think divorce is far too common in our present society. Far too common,but important and valuable.
I don`t think that wedding vows were meant to keep one party indentured to an abusive tyrant. What option does one have when a marriage deteriorates to an unlivable state?Should marriage vows be used by an abuser as the chains that hold someone prisoner for life?
A good marriage is not a 50/50 commitment, It is two people dedicating themselves as a couple,each giving 100%. It is a Husband and a Wife.Not a Husband and a slave.Not a Wife and a slave.
In severe cases divorce can be sort of a safety valve.The fact that it is available can be a big help.