What can you say?

[crisipicada]

In many situation, we really count on to someone so that we will be able to ask some good opinion and guidance. The word of God is there to teach us but God also uses someone who will guide us.

In the situation wherein, you communicated to a person with the intention to build friendship and build a good relationship, and later on the person you count on share to the person about your past how you become so much attach emotionally and tell the person you are presently interacted that you are not a good person?

What can you say?

[fenmoor]

Well Crisi I find the honesty is truly the best policy.

What that means is, you have a history with this person... many talks over many weeks/months for him to judge your character. Understand he might not be comfortable if he has not met you in person. The unknown is always hard to take. But explain to him that you have known him this long and you have not lied to him before... challenge him to remember a time where you lied. Then tell him the truth... Tell him about the time you DID become emotionally attached and be completely open and honest.

Then the hard part. Let it go. If he cannot believe you then, so be it. But if he sees through the problems to the diamond hidden beneath then your friendship will become even stronger. We have a saying here, "If it does not kill you, it just makes you stronger." Meaning you live and learn from EVERY situation... if nothing else, you ahve learned about the other person that you trusted, but betrayed your confidence...

I am assuming that the other person is lying. If they are telling the truth, then you need to explain why you were not honest from the beginning, which would be very hard in a LDR.

Bill

[crisipicada]

Well Crisi I find the honesty is truly the best policy.

What that means is, you have a history with this person... many talks over many weeks/months for him to judge your character. Understand he might not be comfortable if he has not met you in person. The unknown is always hard to take. But explain to him that you have known him this long and you have not lied to him before... challenge him to remember a time where you lied. Then tell him the truth... Tell him about the time you DID become emotionally attached and be completely open and honest.

Then the hard part. Let it go. If he cannot believe you then, so be it. But if he sees through the problems to the diamond hidden beneath then your friendship will become even stronger. We have a saying here, "If it does not kill you, it just makes you stronger." Meaning you live and learn from EVERY situation... if nothing else, you ahve learned about the other person that you trusted, but betrayed your confidence...

I am assuming that the other person is lying. If they are telling the truth, then you need to explain why you were not honest from the beginning, which would be very hard in a LDR.

Bill

Bill you did not get my point

[crisipicada]

This is the question: What can you say about the person who you count on into about giving you advise or wisdom or guidance about the matter.

This is the situation: Paula is currently talking to a guy who she found needed someone to talk to. She has been so positive about life and wanted to be a blessing to someone who is currently confuse and so much trouble in life. And then, Paula appreciate the person's character about the guy because she found out that the guy is being honest and humble. Despite of the bad situation the guy is currently into, she is willing to be there for him as a christian friend.

Now, Paula share this to someone who she can confide into. Paula confessed that she is praying for the guy, to have wisdom and guidance and in particular, he might be the person God give her. Now, later on Paula learned from that guy that the person she confide to let her call Emie, is telling that guy that Paula is not totally honest. Emie told the guy that

[red]

That is why i rarely trust when it comes to personal stuff. But i am trustful to confide to those in authority like pastor/preacher. But if there is prob with that its okay if its past. Personally it means the person you confided to cant keep a secret thus cannot be trusted. Hope i got it understood lol

[red]

Guess there is hidden agenda of emie. I call that traitor.

[crisipicada]

That is why i rarely trust when it comes to personal stuff. But i am trustful to confide to those in authority like pastor/preacher. But if there is prob with that its okay if its past. Personally it means the person you confided to cant keep a secret thus cannot be trusted. Hope i got it understood lol

Yes, you get it, Red. Finally. So here is the question, What can you say about the person who told you about your past and actually did not know the real situation? So, she or he is doing things beyond she must not tell. Now, he or she said to the guy, he must not tell paula of what Emie shared to him or her. What is she tying to do? Just like, she cut you on your back with a knife while you are not there. what kind of person is he or she?

How would you feel? That afterall you trusted her or him? Then he or betrayed you. Now, because of this, the person trust Emie and said to Paula that she is a liar or he is not trusting Paula anymore. Then they become separated.

If you are the guy, will you keep the secret between you and Emie? And not to tell Paula at all? Or will you ask Paula and have the nerve to ask her if all these things are true and make clarification about the matter?

If you are Paula, how would you react to Emie whom you trusted and ask for wisdom and guidance?

[Smiley]

Paula has to be totally open. She also has to be more carefull what she says and who she says it to.It is rarely a good idea to discuss someones business with a third party.Ernie is being a bitch and a rat. He deserves to be treated as such until he changes his ways.He was told something in confidence and just proved that he is not worthy of trust.
Paula meant well but she screwed up.She should come clean and admit this to the guy,he will either understand or he won`t.If he understands,then and only then can they both be in a position to determine where they stand with each other.
This problem might be fixable or it might not. It will not,however,fix itself. Paula has to make the next move and do the right thing.I hope she gets the results she will be hoping for. I really do

[red]

I think Emie likes the guy and so shes making up story bad one behind paula so the guy will quit being close to paula. Thats just my presumption. I heard that same story before. Paula deserves clarification so best strike it out. Then after that dont get close to them anymore. Draw a line then.

[red]

I bet it is hard for the guy. If i were the guy i wont hide anything to paula and call for confrontation among them. Be a man dude show us you are a man.