Living Costs in the Philippines

[wantingmore]

I believe it is important to know the person well. I feel skeptical because most women I talk online always talk about bad situation.

[Edwin]

It is good to be a little skeptical, because there are some who will try to fool you, and you will fall for it if you are not careful. Not all girls are like that. In fact I would bet that the majority are on the level, and just want a good guy, a good relationship, and a bright future. But this is like the news media, in that the bad news is what hits the headlines and the front page. There are signs that can help you figure out what is going on, and it is important that you pay attention to those signs. Take your time, and get to know some of her friends, family, and relatives. I believe there are more good ones than there are of the other kind, so just be a little careful, and take it slow.

[DavidM]

I believe it is important to know the person well. I feel skeptical because most women I talk online always talk about bad situation.

I take the talk about bad situations in stride. I understand that they are there and I feel it would be insensitive to not listen. I have personally been amazed at some personal stories and their faith and perseverance. It really makes me take stock of myself and put things in perspective about any problems I go through here in the US. Yes knowing the person is important and having people that can vouch for their character will really help to ease any skepticism. Just like Edwin said, having a close walk with the Lord can help also. I really wish the best for you and hope you can find trust and comfort with the one you are talking to.

[Edwin]

I think it is important to listen, and you are right, DavidM, in that it would be insensitive not to listen. If there are real problems, and you are able to help then that is wonderful. At least it is good to listen and pray, and then the Lord can send someone who is able to help.

This is interesting, because perspective has a lot to do with it. In 2008, the end of the summer we bought a used and trashed doublewide mobile home, 28 feet by 46 feet or so. Before we got it water pipes had broken in the winter, flooded the house, and destroyed and damaged a lot of the floors. I paid very little for it, but it cost a lot to move it here, set it up, put in the septic system, bring in electricity and so on. We renewed one bedroom completely, new rug, new wall panelling. Some of the windows were broken, taped with plastic, the front door was trashed, unusable, and all the windows and doors let in lots of cold air. Both bathrooms were trashed, toilet falling through the floor in both of them, both tubs broken up. We had no running water.

We had one bedroom beautifully finished, and we were proud of that room. We decided that we were going to have Carol's brother and his filipina wife stay in that room. He was used to living first class with the best of everything for years, and when he got here, he wouldn't even stay with us, because he said that it depressed him to see how we were living. The next time he came from the Philippines he stayed some with us, as we did a quite a few repairs on the house. The last time he came, he knew he was dying, and he stayed the entire time with us, as we had all new windows, new doors, new sliding glass door, and lots of beautiful things done, including new floors, new rug in the front room, and one bathroom competely renewed except no running water! Well, now we have both cold and hot running water at the kitchen sink, and Carol's automatic dishwasher hooked up and working. We still carry water from the kitchen to flush the toilets, but we have come a long ways now. Much of the house still needs to be redone, but it is coming. My bedroom is not that bad, but my bathroom is not good, but it is usable. After I get my cellar dug, we will put the water things, pump, pressure tank, hot water heater, and so on in the cellar, and then we will plumb more water into the house. Then we will continue working on the house, as well as replacing the roof. I already have good roofing, but I will need new stringers/rafters and 5/8 inch sheeting, as well as insulation. So, if Carol's brother were alive he would be happy to know that we have water at the kitchen sink! Every thing takes time, and Rome was not built in a day!

[wantingmore]

I believe it is important to know the person well. I feel skeptical because most women I talk online always talk about bad situation.

I take the talk about bad situations in stride. I understand that they are there and I feel it would be insensitive to not listen. I have personally been amazed at some personal stories and their faith and perseverance. It really makes me take stock of myself and put things in perspective about any problems I go through here in the US. Yes knowing the person is important and having people that can vouch for their character will really help to ease any skepticism. Just like Edwin said, having a close walk with the Lord can help also. I really wish the best for you and hope you can find trust and comfort with the one you are talking to.

I do not want to bribe a woman online. But if I know that she is sincere and I like her, I wanted to be a good provider. Filipinos are eating rice. I want to provide good food and clothing. I want her to feel comfy and provide her needs.

[Edwin]

Hey, wantingmore, I will bet there are a number of young women who would give anything to find you, or have you find them. It is just a matter of getting together. I think it is a matter of finding someone that you trust, and that they trust you, and then build a relationship of friendship first, and then after getting to know that person, falling in love, having a romantic relationship, and then seeking God's guidance, and having your relationship develope into love and marriage. If you are a committed Christian believer, and you can find another committed Christian believer then that is the safest because neither one of you are going to violate God's laws, and that keeps everyone safe. Make sure you find someone who is for real and genuine, because there are pretenders out there, and for some of them their Christian behavior lasts a few weeks or months at best. Sad to day we had a former son-in-law who played and sang with Christian music, and acted like he was really in there with God. His Christian pretense didn't even last into their honeymoon. He was and is a hypocrite of the worse kind. If I would tell you what all he did to his wife, our daughter, and his two precious children it would make your hair stand on end, but there is no reason to spell that out, as you can imagine the worse kind of abuse that you can think of both to a wife and to children, and that is what he is guilty of. He treated his kids so horribly that the older one will not go near him, and he has no Christian principals at all, doesn't claim to be a Christian, now, but that has changed off and on. He, nor his parents who claim to be Christians would come to this young lady's high school graduation, nor would they acknowledge it in any way. The younger daughter is with him now, and she is scared to death daily, as he is a mean person. But, God will even the score, and some where down the road he will have to pay for his evil. He is a younger spoiled brat, and his parents stick up for him in his devilment. But, God says, "Vengeance is mine saith the Lord, I will repay." We don't have to get even because God will do that for us!

[Edwin]

I agree, bhang18, that knowing someone through family and friends is a safer way to go. Then taking time to know the person in context also helps I think. Yes, bhang18, there are good and bad among all people. I like the way the families of lthe people in the Philippines all stick together and help each other. Things might be hard, but when they help each other that makes life bareable. The people in the Philippines have a good culture, I think!

[crisipicada]

I can live or adjust to where I live. Even in simple house or a good one. I am not complaining. Of course I really try and work and ask God to make life easier. So if God provided me good one. then i am thankful if not then i would be thankful also. It is the attitude that matters. How will you respond or react to your situation.

[Edwin]

You are right, Crisi about being able to adjust, and also being thankful! The attitude and how you react to your situation is very important. I was complaining to one of our daughters about this house, because when we got it, it was not a very nice house, but we have worked on it, until now it is home, and it feels very good to be here. At first it was really trashed, broken windows, one door, front door was so trashed it was not even usable, and we had to put blankets and plastic over it in the winter as well as broken windows to keep from freezing to death. But now we have all new windows, new doors, a new sliding glass door, and repaired and replaced floors, so that now this is a very nice place, although half the house still needs worked on, as well as needing the roof replaced. One of our daughters told me that we should be thankful for what the Lord has provided, and she is right. We can be thankful for God's provisions. He is good to us all the time!

[Edwin]

Yes, bhang18, when people stick together if helps them to feel better. There is something very comforting about not being alone, or feeling alone. If there is a need the family all pitches in and takes care of the situation. We call this a safety net, when there are people there to help someone in trouble. If there is no safety net, then people are insecure and vulnerable. Just knowing that they are there helps.