Give us things to watch for in on line dating

[Edwin]

To respond to Crisi, yes it is important to be honest with all you are corresponding with, and tell them about the others that you are writing to. I have heard about sending duplicate e-mails to various ones, and changing the names before sending them. Each one is told that they are the one and only, and that the person loves them, and that is not right. I have heard also of cases where the person got mixed up and sent a person an e-mail with someone else's name on it, and then the cat is out of the bag, so to speak. Honesty and not leading the other person to believe something that is not true is the important thing! It would be a let down in any case if someone is hoping for you, and that person didn't get selected. But it would be far worse if that person were made to believe that he/she was selected and then was told that was not the case.

Good to see you again, purex! Yes the Philippines can be a reasonable place with inexpensive living, huh? I think chatting with the cam or skype is the next best thing to being there face to face! You do the best you can with what you have available, and then you hope for the best and pay attention. Then you look to God for guidance in your life, and hopefully everything will turn out okay!

Yes, Smiley I have heard a quite a bit about the online suspicions. My brother-in-law who just died voiced suspicions about it, but that is kind of how he met and got acquainted with his filipina. I guess he met her after working with her brother, but they didn't know each other, and communicated with e-mail until they were married. It was good for both of them. You are right, Smiley, in that online communications is dangerous, but you have to figure out how to lower the risks. You could meet a young lady through relatives and acquaintances. Being recommended that way might make you feel safer, and it should. Things can be done to lower the risks, I believe.

[fenmoor]

While I do not think writing to more than one pen pal is wrong I do think telling them that you love them or that they are the only one is low down and dirty.

I have told by too many ladies in the past that they "love" me after only an email or 2. Now I take that with a grain of salt and just kind of ignore it. Once I had to ask the girl to relax a little as she was telling me how we were destined to be together and how God had brought us together... on her second email. I tired to be kind but told her that there is no way she knows who I am yet.. To relax, and we will just see where the talks lead us. She was a very nice girl after all, but I think she thought that was how she was suppose to act. I think someone told her that was how to attract a person, so she tried it. Great person once she relaxed and talked

None the less... If I am telling someone that I love them, then it is time for others to become strictly friends. I remember the first time I started being "exclusive" with a lady, I was writing at least 12 girls or so, and the night I asked this girl if she wanted to be exclusive or to keep looking for someone, I sent 11 emails out to the other ladies telling them about her and what was happening. I would have wanted the same courtesy, and as a child of God they deserved to be treated with respect..

Bill

[Edwin]

fenmoor is correct in that if you and someone writes a couple of e-mails and then all of a sudden, boom, you are told that you are loved by this other person, then that is not only a surprise and a shock, but it is stunning as well. If you converse with someone even for just a few e-mails you may have very strong positive feelings for that person, but exercise a little restrain, and don't tell them that you love them or are in love with them until you have communicated just a little more, and have some feedback from the other person that your feelings are mutual. It is okay to take a chance, ask, and find out, but I would say that if someone tells you they love you after the first or second e-mail, that person is either overly anxious, zealous beyond what is reasonable, which is not a bad thing in an of itself, or that person is trying to run some kind of a scam on you. So fall in love, but wait a bit to stick your neck out and admit it.

I think like fenmoor that some people just haven't had much experience and they think that is what they are supposed to do. For some no doubt it is completely innocent. But, like fenmoor said, it might make you say, "You love me? You don't know me at all."

Then we can get into the meaning of the word also. The, "I love you" above is the I love you like I want to get ingaged with your or at least go steady with you, or I am thinking that I want to marry you. That I love you takes a little more than one or two e-mails. If that were said to me by anyone except my wife, it would be a little forward of the person to express herself that way. If someone says that, be kind, and don't chew them out, but tell them, "I am flattered, and I will say that to you, maybe shortly when I am ready, and when I know that I mean it." But be kind, and don't hurt their feelings. But you might want to thinik twice or three times before you say, "I love you too!" I think all of us have said things and done things because we have not understood, and embarrassed ourselves, and we appreciate it when someone else is kind to us.

[red]

I guess pinays say i love you on first two emails because they are desperate to marry. Too many of them looking waiting to be liked and married but only few foreigners looking some dont even bother to write or take notice of their profiles. For some pinays they are star struck with white guys. They think they are very attractive. So hoping some of you guys wont take advantage of these ladies because some of them are innocent. They are so vulnerable. But beware to those "master" they can scam. Usually they are fluent in communication and some pretend to be poor. They talk alot about their poor life and many money problems.

[Edwin]

I can understand that, and that is why it is important to be nice and kind to them, and try to have some understanding rather than reacting as one might be tempted. Yes, and it is sad when some take advantage of their vulverability. If I were in their place no doubt I would think, "please take me!" I can understand, because God made a man for a woman and woman for a man, and it is only natural to want that. If I were to find myself alone, I would want, I was going to say desperately, but I would want to find someone, because I would not want to be alone. I don't mind being alone for a few hours so Carol can go to the guild, or even for a few days so she can go to where we used to live for a spinning weekend, but I will not enjoy her being gone more than one part of a day. She is going to be gone for a spinning outing for a few days, and then before she hardly gets home, she is going with our daughter from Spokane on a train ride to see her son and our grandson, and that will be fun for them. I will surive, but I don't like to be alone. I am not going with them because I am saving my money for my next flight to the Philippines, whenever that might be? Flights are getting more expensive I see, but I think a person can still get a more reasonable flight if that person can fly anytime, and watch for good deals.

[Edwin]

We used to watch Ray Stevens when his shows were broadcast on the television. A friend of ours gave us a number of his VHS recordings of his shows. I don't think he will want them back because he is in prison for life. In this state anyway if you are convicted of a crime 3 times, you go to prison forever, and he is there. It is 3 strikes and you are out! Anyway in this one show Ray Stevens rides his Harley Davidson Motorcycle out onto the performance stage. He plays the piano and sings, and a lot of his stuff is over the top comedy stuff, and we really are entertained watching it. Anyway, tells a lot of jokes about his grandpa. One of them, he tells that his grandpa just has to chase any pretty woman that he sees come by. Someone asked his grandmother, if that didn't upset her. She said, "No, dogs chase cars, but they can't drive!" I guess she was not too worried about what he would do even if he caught one of those women. It's like my dog. He has been chasing birds for 4 years now, and when they turn he turns, when they fly low he really gets into high gear. But to my knowledge he has never caught a bird. I think some of tease him, thinking, "That is sure a stupid dog, thinking he can catch us!" The interesting thing is that he is very intelligent, and also very obedient, more so that any dog I have seen for a long time! We love him, and we love the big doggie, Scooby also!

[wantingmore]

In the long process of online communication, women are telling many bad situations and family needs. They would say, my father and money is in the hospital, my sister is sick, my brother is not feeling well and so on and so fort. I would like to ask your idea if it is good to help someone and sending money and how would you react to this women telling those bad situations they have?

[red]

I got an idea....surprise her a phonecall when shes with her family and try talk to some of them. Or get a lie detector machine see if shes really honest..he he....
Anyways, wont hurt to listen a womans problems. Not all of them telling problems means asking help. I think it takes some tricks and observations before you dive in to extend financial support. If you have doubts then dont help. Best you meet her first before doing all help. Meet her friends...one way to know her better is thru her friends...as saying
goes...tell me who your friends are and i will tell u who you are.

[Edwin]

We have a saying, "Birds of a feather flock together." It means the same as Red, said, in that tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are.

I would guess that if too many of these situations are told to you, you might be being used. Those situations might not exist at all, but are being told to play on your sympathy, get you to feel guilty, and ultimately get you to send money. They may have several people like you on the line, telling each one the same story, and collecting money from each one.

I feel really badly if I think there is a real need, and I am not able to help! I pray that God will allow someone to hear the real problems who has the ability to help.

[crisipicada]

Yes, it is sometimes hard to find a true person online. It is really a temptation to speak and be deceptive online. What is important that you will really be at yourself and be sensitive how people would react on what you are saying and also to build friendship here. Some people really need someone to talk to so that they will be not feeling sad or bad or depress. So, it is also a learning process to know others online.