Breaking up is not easy, when relationship needs to go

[erwin]

I have tried my best as I can to work out my relationship with my girlfriend for 4 years. We work now far from each other, we seldom talk and spend time together in person. I have tried to visit her at least once a month and made the effort to work things out. I planned to propose to her end of this month since it is her birthday. But things has changed to her. She become cold for her feelings to me and become engross at work. Her care and love and being sweet to me fad as times past. She become easily angere at me for the reason of not understanding her because she is busy in many things. I tried to become more understandin in her situation and be there for her but she treated me opposite as what we have been before.

Now, I need to find myself where I can be happy. I need to move on though it is hard. I am tired for this things. breaking up is not easy, but this relationship needs to go.

[crisipicada]

This is what I believe, before intering into romantic relationship with someone, be honest to yourself and to God about your intention of finding a husband or wife not because it is because you just needed one and no commitment at all.

Being into 4 year relationship with your gf is quite a long time. You and her have invested too much - time, effort, energy, money, emotions, etc. And just beecause she become busy in her work, she changed her mind on you? That would strange. Is she has someone else where she works? Maybe this may caused her coldness of her feelings to you because she found another guy. Another thing is that, she might not yet ready to settle down and still wants to enjoy her life as a single while you are ready now to move to marriage. In any case, when the relationship needs to go, it must be done right away. Prolonging it will only add more pain. In any factor to break up the relationship, it wont be easy. believe me, I have observed that to those who encountered breaking up, will always be hard. But this is all I can advise you. Continuing a wrong relationship only increases the pain when it finally does end. It will save you a lot of sorrow and regreat tomorrow if you have the courage to obey now.

There are many relationships that must ends with finality because that relationship to continue is definitely headed in the wrong direction and it m akes both the guy and girl to suffer. When you really need to end the relationship, there are thingss that you m ust remember.

First, really end it. Why? Because you are just prolonging the pain. Do not ever leave any string attached or hint at the possibility of reuniting someday. Maybe you should probably agree to steer clear of each other for a while afterward.

In your case, you might feel tempted to call her after you will break up with her or you are now break with her - because you wanted to talk to heror chat or inviting her to go out "just for the old time's sake." I do believe that doing so would only reawaken old feelings. I knew it, it owuld be hard but you knew it for the first place that bothe of you wont work out with each other and so you need to move on and had to end the relationship with finality.

The best that you can do is to pray for God's guidance. Talk to God heart to heart and tell him everything how you feel. Accepting things going on is the start of healing. God will always give you peace dispite of all that is going on that seems so hard for you to understand. Keep believing and trusting the Lord. He always prepare someone for you who is the best for you ever. Who knows, someone is there waiting for you. Be patient and let the Holy Spirit speak to your heart and lead you. Best wishes.

[DavidM]

I can COMPLETELY relate to how you feel. Allow yourself time to mourn because this will probably feel like a death to you. I know that's how I feel in this situation.

[erwin]

I can COMPLETELY relate to how you feel. Allow yourself time to mourn because this will probably feel like a death to you. I know that's how I feel in this situation.

It feels like death. Very hard on this situation wherein you consider her the most wonderful woman ever and later on she has changed. Tell me your story and did you end up with your relationship, too?

[Edwin]

It is true that there might be a number of reason why she has turned cold towards you. It might help to figure that you, so that you will know what you are dealing with. Then Crisi is right on a number of ways. There is no point in prolonging the agony. If it needs to be ended, it needs to be ended. Also as Crisi, said do it right. Don't agree to break then change your mind and get together again. Listen to God speak through His Holy Spirit, so that you will know the right thing to do, and then do it. It must really hurt to have someone be so loving to you, and then at some point turn off all the warmth and become cold. Crisi, is right, in that God will have someone waiting for you, who will love you and treat you right.

[erwin]

Totally devastating when relationship fail.

[Smiley]

Be glad that you found out now and not after making a lifelong pledge. Your future is still ahead of you. Just because she turned out to be someone other than who you hoped she would be is no reason to cave in to stinkin' thinkin'. You deserve to be happy,It should be a lot easier to be happy without a deceitful heart draining your energy.
I hope things pull together for you soon. Good luck.

[red]

LDR usually dont last forever. Even married couples whose partners working abroad often have affairs other than their spouse. There is purpose for everything. God may have plans for you. Or maybe someone better than her is out there meant for you. Just go find her.

[Edwin]

As Red and Smiley said there is a reason for everything, and you are better off to learn all this before the big commitment happens. LDRs depend on the individuals involved. Many of the couples have suffered similar fates when one went to war, and the other was not able to stay committed to the relationship. Some of them do survive beautifully, and it just depends on the two people involved.

[crisipicada]

My friend has a relationship for 5 years now. Still she can't accept. I always try to tell her that we must trust the Lord for everything. And also, always trust God that He is always giving us the best. WHen the other door is close, the other is open. So, think positive. Just be hopeful