Why Do People First Love Then Hate?

[Edwin]

This is quite common for people whose marriages are breaking apart. Most of them go through a hate time, and some maybe hate forever. I know of two that as far as I know there was not hate, just lets separate, but for most there is a lot of animosity. David's adultery with Bathsheba brought judgement from God that involved having the sword never depart from his house, and that was a tragic series of things that happened. Three of David's children got involved in a terrible chain of events. Tamar and Absalom were two beautiful children from one of David's wives. For both of them their beauty was spoken of in the Bible. Absalom was handsome and Tamar was beautiful. David loved all his children, and he was a good father with a big heart, but he surely had a lot of trouble with them after his commiting adultery with Bathsheba. He did a lot of damage to his family by commiting adultery. There is always a lot of damage to a family when someone commits adultery. Amnon a son from another wife of David's was in love with Tamar. Amnon was vexed to the point of being love sick for Tamar. Tamar was a virgin, and Amnon wanted her badly, and he was not able to easily get her. Amnon's cousin, Jonadab, David's brother's son was a cunning, subtil man. He was slick and conniving. He told Amnon how to get Tamar. Jonadab told Amnon to make himself sick, or maybe pretend to be sick. He said then your father David will come to see you. When he comes to see you tell David that you want Tamar to make a couple of cakes in your presence, so that you can take them from her hand and eat them. Tell David that you want her to fix meat for you too, so that you can eat that from her hand. So David gave orders to Tamar to take food and prepare it in Amnon's presence so that he could eat it from her hand. As requested Tamar took the flour, kneaded it into bread, and baked the cakes where he could see what she was doing. Tamar took the bread to him, and he refused to eat it, but Amnon asked all the men in his presence to leave, which they did. Amnon then asked Tamar to bring the bread into his bed chamber so that he could eat it from her hand, so Tamar did that.

[Edwin]

When Tamar brought the bread to Amnon he took hold of her, and asked her to come lie with him to have sex. Tamar said, "Please don't do this, do not force me, because this should not be done in Israel, don't do this foolishness. Tamar said that it would be shame for her, and Amnon would be like one of the fools in Israel.

Tamar begged Amnon to simply go to the king, David, their father, and ask for her hand in marriage, and Tamar told Ammon that David would give Tamar to Amnon if he would so much as ask. Amnon would not listen to Tamar beg him to ask for her hand in marriage, but instead he was stronger than she was, so he raped her there.

Now what I don't understand is that moments before he loved her, then after raping her, he hated her. The Bible tells us that his hatred to her was greater than the love that he had for her earlier. So then Amnon told Tamar to get out. Tamar told Amnon you don't need to make me get out, because making me leave is a greater evil than raping me. But again Amnon would not listen. Amnon had his servant force Tamar out, and have the door bolted. Tamar was wearing a colorful dress that all the virgins who were daughters of the king wore. She put ashes on her head, tore her dress, and went with her hand on her head and crying.

Absalom plotted to kill Amnon because of this for two years. Then Absalom talked to David about having all the kings sons come with him to shear sheep. David argued with Absalom, and then Absalom asked David about having Amnon come with him to the sheep shearing, and David gave in and allowed all of them to go. Absalom told his servants to observe when Amon was drunk and then kill him, which they did. All the kings sons got on their mules and escaped, only Amnon was dead. Rumor came to David that Absalom had killed all his sons, but he soon learned that Amnon was the only one dead. David mourned for his son Amnon, and Absalom fled and was gone for three years. Eventually Absalom took the hearts of the people and led a revolt against David. Eventually Joab killed Absalom, and David mourned for him. Adultery was costly for David.

[red]

Thank you for this post sir. Thats what i like also in Bible esp old testament is like reading a novel. Its basically history with full of lessons to learn spiritually. I hope everybody can be able to grasp and apply it to everyday challenging life. We all should know that every sin like adultery costs lots. Karma is what we call it. It is the next generation or your offspring that pays the price should you commit one. If we love ourselves and love our offspring we dont want them to suffer. More so we dont want to live in ring of fire, do ya?

[Edwin]

Yes, Red, that is true that the old testiment is for an example of how we should live. In it we can see what people did, and what happened to them as a result. A lot of times we don't realize how what we do affects others, but everything we do affects some else either for good or for bad. You are right in that we want to do what is right and make heaven our homes. We don't want to live lives of sin, and suffer eternal torment in the lake of fire, which was prepared for the devil and his angels.

[Edwin]

This story has always made me question why Amnon had the attitude that he did. He got what he wanted from Tamar, so why didn't that make him very happy? Maybe it is because Tamar did not willingly give it to him, and he had to fight her, and overcome her, overpower her to get it. Maybe it is because she told him, "Brother, this is not right, let's not do this." "This is not done this way by descent people." Anyway Amnon had advice from his evil conniving cousin to help him figure out how to trick Tamar into being in a position where he could have sex with her. The other thing that is difficult for me to understand is that Tamar tried to reason with him. Tamar told Amnon, "Why don't you ask our father to give me to you, and he will do it." They were half brother and sister with the same father but different mothers, and maybe it was not as forbidden to marry close relatives then as it is now. In any case I think he should have listened to reason, and then he could have had her for the rest of his life. The way it happened it made David very angry, and made Tamar's full brother, Absalom so angry that he plotted for two years to have Amnon killed, and managed to use a deceptive plan to carry it out. Of course those things were God's judgement upon David for commiting adultery with Bathsheba, and having her husband killed. The other thing that is hard to understand is why Amnon threw out Tamar, and had the door bolted while she pleaded with him not to do that. He had already overpowered Tamar and had sex with her, and she didn't want to be thrown out, but why did he do that.

Well, according to the Bible the heart is deceifully wicked, and people do strange things. They not only damage other people, but they damage themselves in the process because of the way they live. People who live for themselves and the devil are unpredictable, you never know what they might do, and they do not do things in a reasonable manner, also they do not listen to reason. You can't reason with them when it comes to right and wrong, just as Amnon would not listen to reason being spoken by Tamar. Several things should have been done differently, and there could have been a happy ending!

[red]

well sir ed, it happened because it was what was in their heart. yes heart is deceitful. whats on your heart thats what it goes to your brain and goes out thru mouth. tounge and heart are twins lol

[crisipicada]

well sir ed, it happened because it was what was in their heart. yes heart is deceitful. whats on your heart thats what it goes to your brain and goes out thru mouth. tounge and heart are twins lol

Yes, you are right \, Red.

Jeremiah 17:9 - The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked who can know it?
Proverbs 4:23 - Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life.
Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh ( I forgot the Bible verse)

What is in your heart will be shown in your actions. What is the content of your heart will affect your whole being - your attitude, character, and all around you are affected - relationship, friendship, work, business, your whole life is at stake what is in your heart all about. So guard your heart.

[Edwin]

Yes, Crisi and Red, it is what is in the heart. The Lord says that I will take out your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. After David's episode in adultery with Bathsheba, he prayed for a clean heart. Psalm 51:10; "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. 11; Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy Holy Spirit from me. 12; Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit." We need what David prayed for; a clean heart and a right spirit. We need also the joy of salvation and God's free spirit!

[crisipicada]

Hate because they are not really do not have to stay to be committed or maybe because there are not really truthful and honestly about things so that what makes someone hate. Just like being dishonest and not really true to each other. Or else because the love that has given is not reciprocated. Well, that is the human love. But God's love is always good and not hate no matter how unfaithful we are.

[Edwin]

Yes, human love has its problems, but God's love is much different. Human love can be off and on, depending on the circumstances. God's love is constant and dependable no matter what is happening. God's love includes honesty and commitment. God's love is projected even if it is not reciprocated. I Corinthians 13 is a good picture of God's type of love!