How to Handle Hurt?

[crisipicada]

How to haandle hurts?

Whether you like it or not, we all experience hurt. Many people experience being upset of what they are what happening to their respective lives. Others are just so disappointed, saddened, troubled about everything that goes on with their lives right now. When you are hurt what does it mean? Hurt, is something that causes you pain or disappointment. Hurt in love life, relationships, fail in what you want to achieve, failure on your endeavour, even being hurt because of miscarriage in business.

Being hurt is no joke at all. Some take it seriously and causes them get sick. The worst thing is that those who failed to overcome hurt will eventually want to end their lives. Certainly, it happens to some.

In 1 Peter 4:12, reads, “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you. “ There are things that the Ultimate allow to happen to us – trials, problems, hardships etc. In 1 Peter 4:13 continues, “But rejoice, in as much as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings: that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.

It is hard to rejoice when we are hurt. It is so impossible to be happy when things go wrong in our lives. It is hard to go on when life’s tough trying days when seems so heavy. Many of us would ask, “Why the loving father allows all these things in my life? Why life seems so unfair? Others such were/are having a good life and why I cannot have this?

Lately, my heart is so heavy and I just really do not know why I cry and cry. It seems that life for me now is so hard, so many problems and difficulties and so hard to carry all those things. It really distracting because my work is affected, whatever I do and divert my mind and keep busy, seems the force to think about what is going on with me is so strong. Despite of that, I am reminded of the nice words from a turtle: “No matter how heavy my bearing is, it is God’s choice to make me carry the luggage, for it is the only way I can be protected.” God always choose what is best for us.

Are any one of you here now are being hurt? Are you surrounded with disappointments in life? And keep on asking question for above why this is happening to us right now? Do you have cares in life and it is heavy for you to carry? Now, how are we going to handle hurts?

First of all, CONSIDER THE SOURCE OF OFFENSE.
We are hurt because we fail in our endeavor. Are we prepared such things and able to carry things out in order to be successful? Why are some failed in their exam? Others might fail because they are not prepared or did not make an effort to be ready. Others fail in their business because they are not ready to it or might be the system might need to improve.
Some people, really hurt because of being ignorant of frustration. Sometimes, we are not ready to accept frustrations would come. Some, just really do not accept it and become bitter. I knew it because I have experience that. Some are hurt because someone or somebody maliciously hurt them out of satanic dominion in their lives. They are just really happy to hurt someone. In any other case, we must know the source of offence.

Second, we must CONSIDER THE SOURCE. It is not yet end, we must correct and start all over and ask ourselves why we fail. Asking the Lord to show you why you fail is a good start. Sometimes, failure in life is about God’s protection. He protects us from the danger ahead of us. That is why, Book of Romans says, “All things work together for good to them that love God…” My sister Carina talk to me over the phone today, and ask me what is going on with my life… I confided to her how I feel and she really understand my heart’s burden. She said, “you have prayed about things, if God allow that to happen or God will give us trials, it is because God wants us to be strong and be prepared for a greater responsibility in the near future.” When you pray, trust the Lord, and leave it to Him everything. What a comforting words from my sister. I just can’t help it, I cry again.

Thirdly, CONSIDER YOU SPIRIT,. As Christian, when someone hurt you/us, the best thing to do is to forgive him/her. Understanding and compassion will lighten our hearts. If you have problems in life, pour out it to God, for He said, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light, cast all your cares to Him for He careth you. Another thing to consider is the spirit of someone who really hurt you. Some, did not intentionally hurt you, or unaware of the impact that hurt you. I understand this, there are people who hurt me in the past just early these days. It is hard to forgive, but I already give it to the Lord. Some people also happy when they see someone who is down, but I have learned that it is not good to slander someone. I know it… Some people wants to hurt people because they want to get even or that is what we call revenge. Some people really doing this to make even because they are hurt. In some cases, it is better to tell the truth so that, the one who hurt you will be enlighten that you are hurt. In this situation, I have learned to give everything to the Lord, since it really affects my health.
Every Action has an Equal and Opposite Reaction, This is the third of Sir Issac Newton's laws of physics. In the world today, when somebody will hurt you, the world say, hurt them back. If somebody hit you, hit them back. But as Christian, I have learn that we must not do that. Instead, we must give them the benefit of hurting us. What does it mean? Let them do what they wanted to do, and let God revenge them. In due time, they will realize that they are wrong and get ashamed of. How many of us have been wronged by someone? In my case, I do not nag to the person directly, instead, I make sure that my words wont hurt them, but just in case I am very much hurt and someone wont really stop hurting me, at that time, I really need to burst out, but still with compassion at heart that everything will be right. I learn in Proverbs 15 says, “A soft answer turneth away wrath, but a grievous words, stirreth up strife.” How many conflicts today did not resolve because of ANGER words? Why are so many people really wanted to destroy someone’s character, instead of looking what they like? Before we pluck out dirt in someone’s life, we must pluck out dirt in our eyes.
In the case that someone hurt you unintentionally, it is best to forgive them immediately. Not just forgive but to forget those things. Yes, I have done that. I mean, many people hurt me, the student that I helped in her thesis before, betrayed me, my trusted person betrayed me many times and talking behind me. I give it all to God. It is hard to forget but in due time, I will. Only time heals. Because if anger is in our hearts, we are indecisive, thus, we make another failure in life.

Lastly, CONSIDER THE SOLACE. Did you know that the beginning of problem is “stismis” (slander) – hilabtanun, tabian and chismusa, in other words, “HITACHI” . How many people are talking behind your back? How many people cannot talk to you straight ? That is the beginning of problem and it is very unhealthy. As much as possible, I practice in life to trust God. In my mind, I said, “Lord, I do not know what would be my future, but I know you desire what is best for me. I do not want to make my own decision, but please guide me, how to decide things. I am worth waiting for.” At this moment, I have peace at heart. And I feel so comfortable and no heavy heart. That is the mystery of trusting God. It is like magic that you do not realize how God will work in our lives when we trust Him more and more. This is what I have learned, that God is our revenge, and strength. A very present in trouble, though it is hard to forgive but we must continue to love and be forgiving. God is our solace.. and casting our cares to Him, will lighten our hearts.

How about you? What have you done when you are hurt? If you are disappointed in life, how did you deal with it? Your ideas and thoughts here are very much valued.

[red]

i been thru alot of pain too. but i dealt them and got over them eventually. first thing
i did when experiencing emotional pains was crying. i cried out loud. i realized if you have self pity its going to make you more sick. i became sexy during the pains. i lose weight i didnt have appetite eating but it looked ugly coz it reflects on your aura and in your eyes. so it wasnt healthy sexy.
i think its all in our mind if you want to get over being hurt decide then. i did that i kept being hopeful that i will be better. i hope for the better always. i didnt stop hoping the key is keep positive. i had lots of frustrations. the more i became okay when i encountered the Lord. i totally submit as in totally submit every burden i had to the Lord. i felt light all those burdens gone!!!. i became very open minded person. in a sense that i dont think about hurt and not afraid of being hurt. there was acceptance because i know God will not give me a problem i cant handle. i have trust in Him. if you totally submit and trust Him everything is going to be okay. dont just remain hurt do something for the better for yourself.

[Edwin]

Carol and I have had a lot of hurt here where we live for the past several years. I started to write details about it several times, and then deleted them. I can't afford to have our kids see what I might write, which would be very bad, but all true. I have been attacked verbally, accused of saying what I did not say, accused of being agitated when I was not, until I was attacked, and then I was traumatized. We have been told that we might have to move until I got sick of hearing it, so I said something that I shouldn't have, and now our daughter tells me that our relationship will never be the same again, and that she doesn't want to talk with me because I can't help myself but say something mean. Most of our trouble involves our youngest daughter with her two identical twin sisters. The sister here is bitter and unforgiving. The sister who lives 3 hours away from us tells us that she wants me to be forgiving, and she wants her sister to be forgiving. She tells me that she is trying to win the youngest sister back by showing her love, and that is wonderful of her. She tells me that "We wrestle not against flesh and blood," and that is very true. I think the devil has inspired people who live here to cause us all trouble.

How do I deal with my hurt? Well, not very well on my own. I am tempted to think of ways to get even. I also think about it until I get really upset and feel really badly. How do I need to deal with it? I have done my part to settle the problems, so Carol tells me it is up to the other people how they will respond and I have no control over that. I must not allow them to take my joy away from me. I must forgive them, and forget the hurts that I have, and the times they have mistreated me. I must realize that God will hold them accountable for the way they treat me, and leave it with God. I must give it to Jesus, and let Him bear my burdens for me. I have to allow our daughter here to be the way she wants to be, and allow God to deal with her, and that is hard. If she does not want to speak, wave, smile, which she does not, then I have to allow her to be that way and leave it to God to make things right. I have done all I can, and I have to allow God's peace to rule in my heart, and trust in Him to take care of me and this situation.

[purex]

I have a hard time in handling hurt. I must admit it. I suppress my feelings and feel bitter to myself, thus I hurt myself in the process. This is one of the bad attitude that i must deal with. There are times that I cannot understand why things are happening to me and someone would hurt me, and I have the tendency to burst out my anger later on. Although, I have had to control my temper, there are instances that I cannot especially when someone is attacking me and not the problem. That is why I feel so sorry about this kind of attitude of mine. Later on I learn and God is teaching me to trust Him and always in my mind that God knows best, He wants me to be happy and I just leave everything for Him. No matter what happen, bad or good, He will always bring out the best for me and that sometimes I do not understand. Thus, I must trust Him more.

[Edwin]

Yes, purex, many of us have a difficult time dealing with hurts. When you keep it inside too long, it is bound to come out, and be explosive. I have the same problem myself. I suppress my feeling too long, and then I say something or do something that I am sorry about. I am dealing with that right now. I was pushed until I said something that I should not have said, and now I am dealing with the after effects of that. The other person is not thinking about what they are doing to you, and then when you react, you are in trouble. I have to give it all to the Lord, and seek to keep my heart in the right place. I need to be loving and forgiving no matter what the other person does, and let God deal with them. I can't control the other person, but I can be the person I am supposed to be. It is not easy, but the Lord will help us!

[crisipicada]

Feeling rejected is one that really hurt me. I know that those who have been divorced, have the feeling of rejection. For those who have experienced this, God has someone or something better in store for you. Just do not be negative in life. Life is like ball. Sometimes, we are low or sometimes at the highest point. Just trust and pray God for guidance.

[Edwin]

Yes, Crisi, rejection is the worst. Carol was abandoned as a child by her mother, and her father pretty well neglected what he should have done also, and it still affects her to this day. It was hard on her brother also. She just said a couple of days ago that she has a hard time with rejection, and she feels rejections sometimes from family and friends. To be rejected is very hard, and yes God does look out for people who have been rejected, and He has something better in store!

[Edwin]

Well, I am still learning how to deal with hurts, and it is not easy! Carol is helping me to learn to give it all to Jesus, and he will bear our heavy burden. Our other twin daughter tells me that I need to forgive, and she is telling her twin that she needs to forgive, but I think it is a problem for her twin. The one twin wants to win her youngest sister back with love, and she has the right idea. She tells me she is forgiving her anyway, regardless of whether she says she is sorry or not. So we have kids that don't like each other, and we are caught in the middle. The Lord is going to have to work on them, because when I try to fix it I just make it worse, and He is able to do that! It is so complicated that it would take a hundred pages to explain all that has gone on, and what is going on, but the Lord knows all about it, and He will make a way where there doesn't seem to be any way!

[crisipicada]

It is good that we can learn from our past but what is more important is to learn from other experience and not from us. Also if we know that it is wrong, then we must be careful so that we will not be hurt. That is wisdom, knowing how to apply things that you know.

[Edwin]

You are right, Crisi, and that is why we have the Old Testiment, to learn from other people's experiences. If we can do that it will help us. That is where our parents and other teachers can help us so that we do not have to learn the hard way. When we do make mistakes it is good if we can learn from our own mistakes and not repeat them!