Divorced

[Smiley]

Welcome to the forum,I hope you can become a regular poster here as you seem to display honesty and common sense.I think that most of us would agree with you.Being aware of the past is healthy. . . . dwelling on it is not.

[Edwin]

mtlaurel530, as Smiley said we would love to see you continue to post here, returning often. Respond, ask questions, come up with your own subject, starting a new post, and the more the merrier, so keep coming back. You have to forgive yourself, forgive other people, and allow God to forgive you as well. It is tough to forgive sometimes, and it is even tougher when you know there is someone who will not forgive you. I am learning lessons about that myself. When you say you are sorry, and you do all you can to make things right, then you just have to give it to the Lord, and allow Him take care of that other person. Don't let anyone take your joy away from you. Once you do all you can then you have to leave them with God to deal with, and He will.

[crisipicada]

Hello,
Divorce causes pain and it takes so many years to get through the guilt of leaving a marriage not because you were not committed but because both persons were not well matched in so many levels and had the courage to leave after 20yrs.Most times Filipinas are long suffering.I've been divorced for more than 10 years and have learned to live alone.Finally I've found peace and contentment.It would be nice to have a friend/companion at my age (61 yrs) to travel,have fun,converse,dance etc and see how it evolves.
I'm new here but my profile is with Jaderune.

I am so sorry for your divorce. I do believe that it would be very hard on your part. I do agree with you that, things must let go. We cannot change the past but we can change our present to be better. I am for sure, experience heartache in life. I feel so many betrayal in life.

Many of our decisions in life are carried by emotions. Many wrong choices because they just based what they can see. Remember that our hearts are the most deceitful of all, it is full of lies, it cannot be trusted. That is why, we must use our head to test our feelings so that our feelings so that we can have sincerity and honest and not just sentimental gush.

Did you make decisions that you later on regret out of emotions?

[Edwin]

Finding peace and contentment is a great gain. Jesus has promised us peace beyond all understanding. He is promised that if we keep our minds on Him, He will keep us in perfect peace. Jesus will help us as we trust in Him.

[crisipicada]

There are lots of trials and temptations when it comes to marriage life. Yes, we are surrounded by difficulties and problems, tribulations and hardships are always part of life. When it comes to DIVORCE, do you consider to leave your husband because he cannot support the wife financially? Of in any situation, whether health problem or mental problem, will you divorce your partner and find a better one? Any comment from the concern members are very much appreciated!

[Edwin]

God is our source, so we look to Him for what we need. We thank God for providing for us the things we need. We pray and bless the food before we eat it, and we thank Him for His bounty, and that He provided it for us. For financial problems we look to God to help us solve them. We should not be divorcing because health problems because in our vows we said, "For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, forsaking all other, keep thee only unil him/her." From a logical standpoint you would not want to be left because there was not enough money, or because health was bad. We need each other, and we stay with each other. I have seen someone leave her husband, or kick him out actually because of his mental problems, but I think God would want us to stay supportive and give comfort to our husband or wife who was having mental problem. We all need comfort and support from each other. We need to give that to the other person, because you never know when you might need that comfort and suppose, and it is just the right thing to do!

Divorcing a husband or a wife to try to find a better one is first of all not right, and then many times the better one is not found, but a worse one is found. God wants us to be tender hearted, loving one another, and forgiving one another. This is somewhat like thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fense, when the grass on the other side of the fense is usually not greener. When you find someone that God gives you, you are to stay with that person, and seek to help that person to become a better person. It doesn't make good sense to think you might benefit from divorcing to find a better marriage partner. Be a better marriage partner for the other person and stay with that person. Make his or her life a joy, and that will come back to you, and you will have joy also!

[crisipicada]

Yesterday Monday morning, we had a very good conversation with my elder sisters and brother in law to be regarding divorce. I ask them what are their opinion about the matter.

Roger Delima, said that, as Christian it is not the will of God to get divorce in fact it is stated in the Bible that "what God has put together, let no man put asunder."

He emphasize about commitment in marriage. Unless the ex wife or ex husband is still alive, there is no way to get into married for the second time.

He said, we are already saved by grace and bought with the price. We are not our own. Every word of God must we give respect and obey. yes, people made laws but that is people's law. About Moses, he made that bill of divorcement because people become rebellious. The worst thing is that, sin of rebellion is sin as of witchcraft. Therefore, it is better to obey.

I also give emphasis about the verses in the Bible in Deuteronomy 24 regarding marrying again for the second time.

24 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.

2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.

3 And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife;

4 Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the Lord: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the Lord thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.

5 When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business: but he shall be free at home one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken.

It is stated there that it is okay to marry again after the divorce.

Sometimes, it really needs to go back to the Bible as the basis of our actions so that we will not make another mistake again and regret of the mistake we made.

[Edwin]

Yes, it is important to learn from other people's mistakes if possible, then we don't need to make our own. That is what the Old Testiment is for is to show us other people's mistakes. If we make our own mistakes, it is important for us to learn from them, so that we don't repeat the same mistake more than once! Using the Bible for the basis of our actions can save us a lot of grief! Seeking the Lord for direction in our lives is very important!

[crisipicada]

many marriages in the Philippines end up separated because of unfaithfulness.

One of the reasons is that the husband cannot provide for the needs of the family. I do believe that no matter what the circumstances, the husband and wife must stay together. God allow difficulties in life so that we will stay and stick to Him and ask for His guidance.

I do pray that God will give me wisdom that He wil always keep marriages in all relationships.

[Edwin]

Unfaithfulness is sad whether it is unfaithfulness to a marriage parter, or unfaithfulness to God. God demands of His children, who we are, that we be faithful to Him. God compares people's unfaithfulness to Him to that of a marriage partner, one to another. God also compares our love with each other to our love for God. This is the same for obedience. God compares our obedience to our parents to our obedience to Him.

You are right, Crisi, about needing to stay together in the face of problems. It doesn't help to solve the problems for a married couple to separate. That usually creates more problems. Two people can help each other and provide comfort for each other when they are facing problems. Asking the Lord for guidance and wisdom is the way to receive help from Him. He will help us.