Attraction, Obsession, Infatuation, Fantasy

[crisipicada]

When you are attracted to someone, we refer mostly of physical appearance. Sometimes, it is about what we can see to the person and not the character of the person. Sometimes it is very deceiving and when your expectation to the person is gone, so with the feelings.

Obsession is something that you are thinking all the time. Like in every 24 hours, she or he is always in your mind. You are thinking that you both together are always together at anytime anywhere. Obsession is an illness, and according to the dictionary.com, An obsession is a very serious illness that is caused by a person wanted to be someone other than themselves. It can be caused by a person thinking someone's life is so much better than theirs or thinking their life would be so much better if they had someone in their life. When a man wants a woman that doesn't want him it can become obsession. The unwanted person tends to make themselves believe that they are in a serious relationship when there is absolutely nothing going on. They will tell stories to others that are all untrue. Obsession can make your life hell. Obsession can last for years and should be followed by medical attention. Obsession can sometimes be followed by death..

While Infatuation is also an obsession, you are thinking of the person that he or she is with you. When you are bored, you want to be with somebody and infatuated about him or her. If feelings is gone, so with the infatuation. And later on you realize that you do not love the person. According to the the dictionary.com, what causes infatuation, Some people may wonder what causes infatuation. There are several causes. Infatuation is most often caused by superficial reasons. Someone may be bored and may choose a person to be obsessed with. Infatuation is not at all love. It has tones of jealousy, lust, and impatience. There is no known remedy for infatuation but counseling or therapy may help a lot..

While, fantasy, it is about daydreaming about the person and thinking that he or she will be with you. Thinking about the person or thinking about what would you like to be in the future is fantasy. We must be careful that fantasy wont grow into obsession because it is not healthy.

While love is always thinking about what is good for someone. Sometimes, love is obsession, it is because you are thinking of your love one. Like long distance relationship LDR, you wanted that someone must be with you because we feel secure when someone is near to us. We can talk to him or her, we will know what is going on, while LDR, sometimes creates doubt to someone especially when someone is far from you.

HOw is your feeling to someone? Is it attraction, obsession, infatuation or genuine love? How did you know?

[Edwin]

Crisi, that is quite a list of related words you came up with! What do they say? Opposites attract? That must be true for Carol and I because if she says she likes something, I say I don't care for it! We do have opposing thoughts and ideas often, and our tastes, likes and dislikes are not exactly the same. We don't have any problem with any of that, but it is actually kind of funny. If she says she likes something, and I say I don't care for it, she will say that she knew I was going to say that, because if she doesn't like it, then I like it, and the other way around as well. Carol and I do have lots of similar ideas and thoughts as well. We agree on everything that has to do with Bible teaching, morality, and standards. We like most of the same foods. Carol tries to eat diet stuff, and artificial sweetened stuff, while I will not eat any of it! I love green olives, and Carol can not stand them! Carol does not have my love and taste for dark unsweetened chocolate. Many of the things I love to eat, Carol can't eat them because of her diabetes, such as sugar, which I don't eat much of, and honey, which I eat a lot of.

If you have an attraction to someone, or two of you are attracted to each other, which is much better, it means that you are like two magnets that are pulled together! If you turn magnets, I guess you reverse the polars and then they will push each other appart, which is the opposite of attraction. Some of you who know more about physics than I do probably understand this better than I do. If you are not attracted to each other, you are pushing each other apart. If you are attracted to another person, it is almost like you can't help it, you will end up together, almost like it is against your will; not really, but you understand what I am saying. It is almost like you can't help it; you will be together. I think you can overrule attraction when you realize that attraction is not good. I think there is a movie out called "Fatal Attraction," but I have not seen the movie, but I have heard about its title. That means that the attraction in that case is deadly. We are not to be unequally yoked together, so if we are attracted to someone that is unequal, then that attraction is not good. I think God built attraction within us, and that fulfills His plan for a man and a woman to get together. It is natural and God put it within us to have the desire to be with someone of the opposite sex. A woman desires to be with a man with masculine characteristics, and a man desires to be with a woman who has femanine characteristics. That is what attraction is all about. It is natural to be attracted to each other, and God made us that way.

I don't think obsession is ever a good thing. What do you think about that? People who are obsessed with someone else often end up killing that person that they are obsessed with, or killing themselves. It is a very sad situation, and thing to be possessed with. People who are obsessed with someone else, often become their stalkers. They secretly follow that person. They call them on the telephone constantly, repeatedly. They communication with the person they are stalking in any way they can. It is very dangerous if you have somone who is obsessed with you and is stalking you. It is dangerous for you if you are obsessed and driven to stalk someone else. The person with the obsession has strong desires that control them. It is like they can't help it. It often happens, I think, when someone rejects someone elses love or their intentions, or advances. You might love someone else, but if they don't reciprocate, you have no choice but to give up and let them go, and it is sad. We have a description that has become popular, and it is "compulsive, obsessive." Counselors use that term a lot to describe people's attitudes and behavior. Compulsive is like they are driven. They can't help it. They are compelled. It is all they can think about. They reorganize their lives around this behavior. They change the way they do things, and when they do things to fit their obsessive behavior. They think about it when they get up. They think about it when they eat, and they think about it instead of sleeping at night. Obsession ruins people's lives. Obsessed people need deliverance and to be set free by the Lord.

I think Infatuation is somewhat like attraction. If you are a man, and you see a beautiful woman, and you want her, you are probably infatuated with her. You may think you are in love, when in reality you are infatuated. The woman is young, she is beautiful, she smells nice, she is dressed to cause you to have desires, and you are infatuated. This infatuation probably will not last, but shortly you may decide that you don't want her anymore, because later you see something that is not so attractive about her, so the infatuation does not last. If you are a man, and a young lady sits on your lap, you may find yourself infatuated with her, and something else might be going on as well. Infatuation usually is short lived.

Fantasy has to do with day dreaming. It is kind of the opposite of reality. You might live in a fantasy world, where everything is imaginary. Most little children fantasize. They have pretend friends, that often are real to them. I think it is very entertaining to have fantasies, and there is nothing wrong with having a fantasy, as long as you don't carry that too far. I have heard it said that often times during a long distance relationship when you don't know the person well, you think you are in love with that person, when often you are in love with what you have made them out to be. You imagine them to be a certain way when because you don't know them they are not that way at all. So you are not in love with that person, but you are in love with what you think they are, or what you want them to be. I think a little fantasy is okay, but don't live in a fantasy world all the time. When you are getting to know someone be prepared to have your fantasy destroyed, and get to know the real person. Then if you fall in love, it will be with the real person, not an imaginary person who is going to let you down. It is okay, I think, to dream, as long as they are good dreams, and to have fantasies, as long as you understant the difference between fantasy and reality.

[red]

The title itself with exception of genuine love often dont last long for a relationship. I know genuine love is forever. Sweet.
I saw a tv show that talks about addiction. They say addiction of anything or obsession is psychological illness. I agree to it. But i know addiction to the Lord is good. Amen!

Well Crisi, see it for yourself girl. You will never know unless you try.

[red]

Sir Ed, i agree opposite attracts its like a magnet...hmmm
. Like me and hubby we had some opposites but in the long run God blesses us and we get along well seems like no more opposites. No matter how opposites are there in couple so long as love is the foundation all that wont really matter. It irks you at first but i got used to it...ha ha
Seriously, there should be love. Why commit if you are just fantasizing. Otherwise you start wrong already in a relationship.

[Edwin]

"HOw is your feeling to someone? Is it attraction, obsession, infatuation or genuine love? How did you know?" By Crisi

I saw Carol periodically since I was a little boy. I didn't really know her, but I knew who she was all my life. We were together for a few weeks, and I decided to ask her to marry me. She said yes, and we have been together now for 44 years. I have never been obsessed with anyone, and if Carol had not liked the idea of marriage I would have moved on and found someone else. I had lots of girl friends, usually one at a time, but once I had two girl friends, and I went and sat between them at church. I was in high school then.

With Carol and I maybe there was attraction and infatuation, I'm not sure, but we decided we wanted each other anyway. The love of Carol and I for each other has grown through the years. We care for each other, and we care what happens to each other as well. Our love has stood the test of time.

[m&m]

I do believe that it is not good to trigger any false expectation from someone because it can cause heartache. When someone is not yet ready for any commitment, then do not ever give false hope or any thing in the future. That is why, I do believe that in the stage of friendship, this is the time you will ever know the person well.

Later on, when you are confident enough that you are ready for a commitment base love, then be honest with your intention then.

Attraction fades but true love last forever.

[Edwin]

Yes, M&M, it is not good to trigger any false expectation because that can lead to a lot of hurt. Friendship is good because you get to know the real person where there is no reason to hide anything, put on false pretences, or trigger expectations. When you are ready to express your intentions be ready for commitment. True love does last forever, and I Corinthians 13: brings that out.

[crisipicada]

There is a saying that, "I am worth waiting for".

I put that in my Bible to remind me that I am worth waiting for. TO wait for the right time is always the best time. It needs to wait for God's timing so that love will be bloom in the right time.

Can you imagine a flower pick at the wrong time while it is not yet fully bloom? Or to pick up an apple while it is not yet ripe? It taste bad or not so beautiful. Just like in love life, it needs to wait for the proper time and it is always the best time.

[Edwin]

Crisi, you are absolutely right that you are worth waiting for! You are the most precious thing in God's sight, and all of us are precious in God's sight! And you are also right about God's time being the right time!

What you said about the right time for picking the fruit or the flowers reminded me of a movie that I saw years ago. It was kind of a crazy movie, and Walter Mathau started in it as one of the baby sitters for Dennis the Mennis. When he had waited for this flower that only bloomed once every 20 or 30 years, and I can't remember exactly, but he had a party at his house so that he and all his friends could watch for the bloom on the flower of this plant to open. As it was about to open Dennis the Mennis shot a marsh mellow at Walter Mathau, and it hit and stuck on his forehead. The worst part was that it distracted him right at the time that flower was opening, and he missed it! It made him angry, and he treated Dennis so badly because of that, that Dennis ran away, and that spawned some more drama. Everyone should watch that movie at least once. It is funny and fun!

[m&m]

Sir Ed, i agree opposite attracts its like a magnet...hmmm
. Like me and hubby we had some opposites but in the long run God blesses us and we get along well seems like no more opposites. No matter how opposites are there in couple so long as love is the foundation all that wont really matter. It irks you at first but i got used to it...ha ha
Seriously, there should be love. Why commit if you are just fantasizing. Otherwise you start wrong already in a relationship.

Yes, there is always attraction between the man and woman.

If I like someone, I am careful of my heart and also his heart that I wont trigger false emotion or false expectation. Why? Because in the end, it will hurt you both. It is the way to take care of someone's heart. In due time, when you know it for sure that you love the person, then that is good and pray more to the Lord to guide us what is the right thing to do in accordance to His will.