Love and money.

[crisipicada]

What a word!!!!!

And why there are still american wanted to look of filipina? And why some wanted to stay in the Philippines? And why there are Americans or other foreigner wanted filipina or women from asian countries? Because we know for the fact of the culture of the filipina that they are caring, loving, will treat their husband well, and stick together despite of difficulties in life.

I really do not know the American women but I got first hand information from my brod in law who have been in America. As I have learned that some of American women are materialistic, do not value commitment, some yell to their husband, hard to stay when life is rough etc.

If am going to reverse the situation. Let us say I am the American who got married to an American woman who is materialistic, do not treat me good, just marry me because of money, will look dump me if she find another better than me, who do not value marriage as a life time.

If that is the case, why not look for a good hearted filipina and willing to live for a life time. Of course, I can find one. Because the filipina is true to me why not give her good life too?!!? I know that she is sincere and caring, I will also help her to ease her life. Because I love her, I will take care of her. How you treated your wife, is how the husband he loves himself, too.

Bigblastguy, do you love yourself? Do you treat your wife (if you have one) well and take care of her? If you hate your wife, so you hate yourself, too.

[BigBlastGuy]

What a word!!!!!

And why there are still american wanted to look of filipina? And why some wanted to stay in the Philippines? And why there are Americans or other foreigner wanted filipina or women from asian countries? Because we know for the fact of the culture of the filipina that they are caring, loving, will treat their husband well, and stick together despite of difficulties in life.

I really do not know the American women but I got first hand information from my brod in law who have been in America. As I have learned that some of American women are materialistic, do not value commitment, some yell to their husband, hard to stay when life is rough etc.

If am going to reverse the situation. Let us say I am the American who got married to an American woman who is materialistic, do not treat me good, just marry me because of money, will look dump me if she find another better than me, who do not value marriage as a life time.

If that is the case, why not look for a good hearted filipina and willing to live for a life time. Of course, I can find one. Because the filipina is true to me why not give her good life too?!!? I know that she is sincere and caring, I will also help her to ease her life. Because I love her, I will take care of her. How you treated your wife, is how the husband he loves himself, too.

Bigblastguy, do you love yourself? Do you treat your wife (if you have one) well and take care of her? If you hate your wife, so you hate yourself, too.

Crisi you are a sweatheart, I always enjoy your reply which is typical woman's perspective---an answer based on emotions (how you feel) rather than facts (reality).

Of course a filipina looks for a man who provides resources, there is nothing wrong with this fact because that is the way god made her. No point in denying that economics / resources are a primary reason filipinas seek western men because that would be denying the reality of god's creation.

Actually your own words (give her good life....help her to ease her life...take care of her) strongly prove my point--filipinas are looking for man who can provide resources. A young filipina looking to marry and raise a family wants a man who can provide a nice home, quality food, clothes, healthcare, education, security etc etc. If she were satisfied to live and raise children in poverty she will marry a local filipino.

We could sum it up like this: If a man has no money he probably has no honey! Keeping in mind that wealth is relative. A poor american is relatively wealthy in the Philippines.

[mystic]

The main problem is that today most people are not truly committed. Also most people lack a proper culture of what marriage is.

They think: "Let's try; it's an experience like another". And if something goes wrong, they can simply quit. But this kind of culture, only oriented to the complacency of the self, is a double sided sword. It happens that one is treated that same way he/she is thinking and then it hurts. Then, they start looking for alternatives, maybe in the Philippines. But, are they ready and mature for a real commitment?

I was one who believed in eternal marriage, but I divorced. My view shifted. Now, I believe that, if you have an ill limb that can take your life, you have sometimes to cut it. Sometimes surgery is necessary, but it is never the first option to follow. So in a marriage. If you find yourself beaten by your mate, abused in all manners... maybe I would question that marriage. However, one should keep his/her eyes very open since the beginning, to avoid those things to happen. It is not always possible to spot out a scammer... but it is possible to try at least. There are topics that make many scammers fade away at once and can aid in testing one's mate.

But is there a definite solution to a successful marriage? I would say that maybe there is one. I'll call it "scent of sanctity". If you consider your mate not just the object of your love, not just somebody special to treat the same like you, but you add an additional layer of sanctification, it can make the marriage holy.

I'll try to explain this with an example. A person listening to the performance of an orchestra usually "hears it as a whole". Psychologically, he gets one general idea of the whole, which can be a melodic line, a particular color or effect, etc. Our brain is not naturally multitasking, and can follow only one thread at a time. Instead, the conductor can recognize every single instrument when they are playing. He has a sort of "expanded consciousness" and can catch a variety of nuances that the normal listener cannot. His mind enters a sort of multitasking mode... and that comes simply with exercise.

So... love can work the same way. What do you feel when you have a pulse of love toward a person? Do you feel your heart beating faster and coming in your throat? Do you feel like an explosion of feelings and your mind becoming focused and only repeating "I love you"? That's like a burst of passion.
Imagine now instead that... "you place your mate on his/her deserved throne". You take care of every sentence, feeling, need of the other person, trying to sanctify his/her figure. Every time you do something for him/her, you repeat in your mind: "Thank you God, that you allow me to do this for him/her". You just serve the other, with humility and devotion. You don't have to be intrusive. You received the gift of that person, and you are always behind him/her... always there to encourage, support... You have to be a good listener. A trained listener.
The two need never forsake good communication, to perfect this training. And also some "inspiration", which is the holy part.

I think that persons with a hidden agenda, or who cannot exit their convictions (such as that all is a question of money), will find the truly devoted person very boring, because they are not prepared for true relinquishing to the other. They will need their space, become impatient, irritable. One has to be pure, clean inside, so that there is true relinquishing as a marriage should be. Light does not pass a crystal if it has spots. We must strive to make ourselves holy for the Lord and our mate, because our heart must be as that crystal. It will be our mate that will paint the sensations of light and warmth in it, as the light passing through the crystal. And then we will know what true love is.

Indeed, I find every talk about money very boring. It is just an instrument that has to be used for one's needs. But one should be free, not slave of it. The free time is better employed for other things that can enrich life spiritually and make it better. I think that both in the couple should share a similar view, or there might be tensions. Well, there are people after a career, but of course they should not put it in the face of the other all the time. Everything should have a purpose. If one follows his/her career just for the sake of their career, they are only taking care of their ego. They are not really prepared for a family. If it is for the family, to help the others, etc., then it makes sense. One should ask: where is the direction that this action goes?

[BigBlastGuy]

The main problem is that today most people are not truly committed. Also most people lack a proper culture of what marriage is.

They think: "Let's try; it's an experience like another". And if something goes wrong, they can simply quit. But this kind of culture, only oriented to the complacency of the self, is a double sided sword. It happens that one is treated that same way he/she is thinking and then it hurts. Then, they start looking for alternatives, maybe in the Philippines. But, are they ready and mature for a real commitment?

I was one who believed in eternal marriage, but I divorced. My view shifted. Now, I believe that, if you have an ill limb that can take your life, you have sometimes to cut it. Sometimes surgery is necessary, but it is never the first option to follow. So in a marriage. If you find yourself beaten by your mate, abused in all manners... maybe I would question that marriage. However, one should keep his/her eyes very open since the beginning, to avoid those things to happen. It is not always possible to spot out a scammer... but it is possible to try at least. There are topics that make many scammers fade away at once and can aid in testing one's mate.

But is there a definite solution to a successful marriage? I would say that maybe there is one. I'll call it "scent of sanctity". If you consider your mate not just the object of your love, not just somebody special to treat the same like you, but you add an additional layer of sanctification, it can make the marriage holy.

I'll try to explain this with an example. A person listening to the performance of an orchestra usually "hears it as a whole". Psychologically, he gets one general idea of the whole, which can be a melodic line, a particular color or effect, etc. Our brain is not naturally multitasking, and can follow only one thread at a time. Instead, the conductor can recognize every single instrument when they are playing. He has a sort of "expanded consciousness" and can catch a variety of nuances that the normal listener cannot. His mind enters a sort of multitasking mode... and that comes simply with exercise.

So... love can work the same way. What do you feel when you have a pulse of love toward a person? Do you feel your heart beating faster and coming in your throat? Do you feel like an explosion of feelings and your mind becoming focused and only repeating "I love you"? That's like a burst of passion.
Imagine now instead that... "you place your mate on his/her deserved throne". You take care of every sentence, feeling, need of the other person, trying to sanctify his/her figure. Every time you do something for him/her, you repeat in your mind: "Thank you God, that you allow me to do this for him/her". You just serve the other, with humility and devotion. You don't have to be intrusive. You received the gift of that person, and you are always behind him/her... always there to encourage, support... You have to be a good listener. A trained listener.
The two need never forsake good communication, to perfect this training. And also some "inspiration", which is the holy part.

I think that persons with a hidden agenda, or who cannot exit their convictions (such as that all is a question of money), will find the truly devoted person very boring, because they are not prepared for true relinquishing to the other. They will need their space, become impatient, irritable. One has to be pure, clean inside, so that there is true relinquishing as a marriage should be. Light does not pass a crystal if it has spots. We must strive to make ourselves holy for the Lord and our mate, because our heart must be as that crystal. It will be our mate that will paint the sensations of light and warmth in it, as the light passing through the crystal. And then we will know what true love is.

Indeed, I find every talk about money very boring. It is just an instrument that has to be used for one's needs. But one should be free, not slave of it. The free time is better employed for other things that can enrich life spiritually and make it better. I think that both in the couple should share a similar view, or there might be tensions. Well, there are people after a career, but of course they should not put it in the face of the other all the time. Everything should have a purpose. If one follows his/her career just for the sake of their career, they are only taking care of their ego. They are not really prepared for a family. If it is for the family, to help the others, etc., then it makes sense. One should ask: where is the direction that this action goes?

Philosophy without action has little value.

The endless argument of love vs money has little value to a starving child.The purity of a man or woman's feelings have no meaning to millions of starving Filipino children. In it's truest form love is an action not a feeling.

In the Philippines the woman who mistakes feelings for true love will likely join millions of other Filipinas in a nipa house or a slum wondering how she will find food clothing and shelter for herself and her children. She follows her feeling to destruction. A truly spiritual woman uses the mind god gave her to make a conscious decision to find a man capable of providing resources. If that man is not available in the Philippines she looks elsewhere. To say a Filipina searching for a western man is not searching for resources is to to ignore or misunderstand the basis of pure love.

[Edwin]

"You received the gift of that person, and you are always behind him/her... always there to encourage, support..." Quote by mystic.

My wife, Carol, gets really mad at me for following her in the store! She wants me to walk beside her. I understand in some cultures the women are supposed to follow the men by 2 paces or so! I follow her because usually I am going where she wants to go, not where I want to go. If I were going where I wanted to go, then she would follow me, and she better hurry so she can keep up, otherwise she may get lost. Well, I follow her, behind her because if I am walking beside her and she decides to turn suddenly, I might get run over and be hurt! No, I'm just kidding actually, but truthfully she tells me to get up beside her, and stop walking behind her!!

I can't resist this, and forgive me, but I think BigBlastGuy equates pure love with a filipina searching for resources! Sorry, BigBlastGuy, but I couldn't resist!

[mystic]

"My wife, Carol, gets really mad at me for following her in the store! She wants me to walk beside her." Quote by Edwin.

Emmmmmmm.... didn't mean that kind of staying back

I don't think that love is action at all. And I would never mix it with something corrupt like money.

Action can be just one of the manifestations of love. But the word "love" suggests simply "harmony", "balance". It is just a state of being.

But anybody is free to chose how he wants to live. BigBlastGuy is free to be a provider for somebody and have the illusion that he is loved back because of that. If it makes him happy, who cares? If BigBlastGuy becomes a Muslim, he could even be the provider of 4 women. Maybe this would make him even feeling more loved. If each of the 4 women has 10 children... wow... that's really plenty of love that he can give, monetarily

P.S.: BigBlastGuy, don't go to Tibet. There, it's women who marry up to 4 men. Men just do nothing and take care a little of the home, all day long. The woman is the provider. So... that would be intolerable for you! Imagine being exploited just for your procreation qualities... you should surely find the powerful woman, who brings home lot of money

[Edwin]

mystic, I know you didn't mean it that way, but what you said made me think of our situation with Carol not wanting me to walk behind her. When our youngest daughter and granddaughter go to the store with us, they take off and walk so fast that I almost can't keep up with them, and then Carol is the one walking behind. She usually gives up and just looks at stuff in the store herself until we all run into each other!

That is interesting about the 4 women to one man in Muslim religion, and 4 men to one woman in Tibet.

Isaiah 4:1; "And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach." Very interesting, huh?

[crisipicada]

What a word!!!!!

And why there are still american wanted to look of filipina? And why some wanted to stay in the Philippines? And why there are Americans or other foreigner wanted filipina or women from asian countries? Because we know for the fact of the culture of the filipina that they are caring, loving, will treat their husband well, and stick together despite of difficulties in life.

I really do not know the American women but I got first hand information from my brod in law who have been in America. As I have learned that some of American women are materialistic, do not value commitment, some yell to their husband, hard to stay when life is rough etc.

If am going to reverse the situation. Let us say I am the American who got married to an American woman who is materialistic, do not treat me good, just marry me because of money, will look dump me if she find another better than me, who do not value marriage as a life time.

If that is the case, why not look for a good hearted filipina and willing to live for a life time. Of course, I can find one. Because the filipina is true to me why not give her good life too?!!? I know that she is sincere and caring, I will also help her to ease her life. Because I love her, I will take care of her. How you treated your wife, is how the husband he loves himself, too.

Bigblastguy, do you love yourself? Do you treat your wife (if you have one) well and take care of her? If you hate your wife, so you hate yourself, too.

Crisi you are a sweatheart, I always enjoy your reply which is typical woman's perspective---an answer based on emotions (how you feel) rather than facts (reality).

Of course a filipina looks for a man who provides resources, there is nothing wrong with this fact because that is the way god made her. No point in denying that economics / resources are a primary reason filipinas seek western men because that would be denying the reality of god's creation.

Actually your own words (give her good life....help her to ease her life...take care of her) strongly prove my point--filipinas are looking for man who can provide resources. A young filipina looking to marry and raise a family wants a man who can provide a nice home, quality food, clothes, healthcare, education, security etc etc. If she were satisfied to live and raise children in poverty she will marry a local filipino.

We could sum it up like this: If a man has no money he probably has no honey! Keeping in mind that wealth is relative. A poor american is relatively wealthy in the Philippines.

What if the husband do not have resources and cannot work because he become ill? Will you wife will stay with your husband?

Of course, I will. When you marry someone because of money then that is not true love. Unless she learns to love the man in the process. Love can be learned and develop in due time. It just needs time and good communication.

I will give you an example, a true story.

My senior, one time share to us about his married life. He married to a woman who has a good work, a stable job here in the City. He has no work yet, but because she accepted him, they get married and have 2 kids. He then landed a job. Therefore, not all women or filipina will marry someone because of money.

Will you love the person who provided you and treat you bad? Being controlling and seems he own you and treated you as what he wants? Married life in not about controlling or treating someone bad. It is about giving and loving, it is about developing intimate relationship, sharing life together, in good times and in bad times. I saw a lot of marriage life that the husband treat his wife badly. He treated her more than servant. Is that love? Of course not. So women, will you love that kind of guy? A western guy who have money but will treat you bad? Who will be controlling, who will not give you freedom to share your heartaches and burdens in life? Who wants to marry someone who wont have a listening heart. Okay okay, you provide resources, money, give good life. But, deep in your heart, he treated you badly.

Of course, I wont marry that kind of guy. If i will be given to choose whom to marry, a westerner who well off and have resources (money) and treat me bad, do not have listening heart, and to choose someone who is not rich and I can help him, whether he is a filipino or not, then i would choose him then. At least I do not have burden in life and can share my heart's desire.

I issue of money and love is not about loving someone because of money or loving someone because of money, but WHO WILL YOU MARRY THAT WILL TREAT YOU WELL, WILL LISTEN TO YOUR HEART'S DESIRE, WHO WILL HELP YOU TO BECOME WHO YOU ARE, WHO WILL SUPPORT YOU EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY, SPIRITUALLY...

I hope you get my point, bigblastguy.

[BigBlastGuy]

"You received the gift of that person, and you are always behind him/her... always there to encourage, support..." Quote by mystic.

My wife, Carol, gets really mad at me for following her in the store! She wants me to walk beside her. I understand in some cultures the women are supposed to follow the men by 2 paces or so! I follow her because usually I am going where she wants to go, not where I want to go. If I were going where I wanted to go, then she would follow me, and she better hurry so she can keep up, otherwise she may get lost. Well, I follow her, behind her because if I am walking beside her and she decides to turn suddenly, I might get run over and be hurt! No, I'm just kidding actually, but truthfully she tells me to get up beside her, and stop walking behind her!!

I can't resist this, and forgive me, but I think BigBlastGuy equates pure love with a filipina searching for resources! Sorry, BigBlastGuy, but I couldn't resist!

That you automatically walk behind your wife and then move up beside when she tells you to speaks clearly to an inverted male to female relationship. Maybe you should assert some manly leadership. Sorry, Edwin, but I couldn't resist! :lol

Unfortunately weak people believe their feelings are reality. Emotions come and go, emotions are not true love. True love is action. A Filinpa who follows her feelings to marry a local man and has 5 children without regard for financial issues and raises them in poverty has chosen to place her own feelings over true love for the well being of her children. A Filipina who leaves her home, culture and family to marry an American shows true love for her future children by placing their needs above her own short=term feelings.

Emotions (feelings) are not true (pure) love. And all most all Filipinas who leave their home, culture and family to marry an American do it for practical resources purposes.

[BigBlastGuy]

"My wife, Carol, gets really mad at me for following her in the store! She wants me to walk beside her." Quote by Edwin.

Emmmmmmm.... didn't mean that kind of staying back

I don't think that love is action at all. And I would never mix it with something corrupt like money.

Action can be just one of the manifestations of love. But the word "love" suggests simply "harmony", "balance". It is just a state of being.

But anybody is free to chose how he wants to live. BigBlastGuy is free to be a provider for somebody and have the illusion that he is loved back because of that. If it makes him happy, who cares? If BigBlastGuy becomes a Muslim, he could even be the provider of 4 women. Maybe this would make him even feeling more loved. If each of the 4 women has 10 children... wow... that's really plenty of love that he can give, monetarily

P.S.: BigBlastGuy, don't go to Tibet. There, it's women who marry up to 4 men. Men just do nothing and take care a little of the home, all day long. The woman is the provider. So... that would be intolerable for you! Imagine being exploited just for your procreation qualities... you should surely find the powerful woman, who brings home lot of money

Your argument is weak so you attempt to disguise it with outlandish statements about my becoming a muslim and supporting multiple wives which obviously has nothing to do with what I said.

Yes, pure love IS action and not feelings. The men who play with women for sex are operating on their feelings, they will say they love her but they only want sex to feel good--that is NOT love. The man who gets out of bed every morning, goes to work at a job he hates (does what does NOT feel good) to provide food clothing and shelter for his wife and children has shown pure love by his action. It is expected that women struggle with their feelings but quality men DO, they take action no matter their feelings.

And your statement that "Men just do nothing and take care a little of the home, all day long" about men in Tibet is blatantly not true.